49. Sad fiction

I can't watch movies any more. There's always some kid dying in it. I watched In The Bedroom the other day. Tonight I watched In America. I think of books like The Sweet Hereafter. It's just too much, I get so sad. In my grief, loss and bereavement class there's a chapter in my books about parents who lose children. Apparently it is very difficult.

Diana says she's afraid something bad is going to happen to William. I could not say to her, "something will, something bad happens to everyone, without a doubt." Everyone dies, everyone we know, and us. We have very short lives, everything is temporary. But somehow I hope hope hope for my son, hope he can be spared trauma until he's strong enough to handle it. I hope his woe is not inflicted by me. I hope he's spared hardships until later in life, though I know it's silly. Amongst the dissatisfactory elements and pain in life, there is also pleasure. I hope he can find some balance. I hope I hope I hope.

Last night Diana and William took a mongo nap. They looked dazed and confused when they revived. Diana apologized for leaving me alone with Natasia. It was my pleasure. I love that little girl. She's 6, going on 7 and adorable. I drove her home alone, and we talked a little about school, she got a good report card for her final semester in first grade. I got rambling about my memories, and she fell asleep. Sweet little girl.

We got up today and Diana and William came to my dharma study group. He pooped himself out of an outfit, and we put on a onsey that said, "my dad, my pal" and I wanted to get a picture of that outfit, but he pooped himself out of that one. He's a feculent fellow. We chatted a little about the dharma with my dharma buddies, and then went to NJ.

They went out shopping. Virginia kept saying, "like we always do!" She's been reading my blog. You never know what is going to strike someone. Virginia hung out with us for a little while, and then she went out. She's partying with her hispanic accountant friends. They are wild party animals. I guess she can't take care of William tonight and give us a rest, but we can enjoy the night in her quiet New Jersey suburban condo. Tomorrow Joseph and Brian are coming over. I need some comedy after that tragedy movie tonight. I wish all are happy, all are well.