39. Father wakes before son

William fell asleep around 11:30pm last night. Diana conked out. She's running on fumes and guilt. She feels like she should spend every second she can with him. She was sucked dry last night, but she still wanted to hold him. She gave him a bath, earlier. I need to bathe him more. I get a little nervous doing it. I need to get over that. My mother needs to visit to help me remember the virtues of bathing. Falling asleep last night, I felt like a piker, all the things I could do but haven't yet. But when I hear myself tell myself to get my act together, I know I'm trying my best, and it's going to take a while to adjust.

This morning I woke up before he did, I had a dream where I'm an outlaw. I'd just evaded the law, when I was given the choice of going back to the dream or waking up. Diana was still here. I think if I got into a pattern I could meditate at this time. He grunts a lot in the morning, but he hasn't woken up yet. It's been a solid 50 minutes. Now I just need to wake up 45 minutes earlier, and I can wake up enough to meditate. I had enough time to wake up, but not to meditate. His grunting is getting louder and more frequent.

If anyone wants to be put on the "photo of the day" e-mail opportunity, just send me an e-mail: steve@fwbo-nyc.org. I send out a photo of the day to my grandparents in Georgia, my father in California, my mother and step father in Chicago and Virginia in midtown and New Jersey.