318. Siblings

We survived the ordeal of birth, a long run up to labor. Diana did wonderfully. Andrew is amazing. I went to take William to see them, finally. William had not seen Diana for several days. He has slept over at his Abuela's, but after he fell asleep, and she went to him in the morning. I've been out of town for the weekend, but he's not been away from Diana so long in his 17 months. Today he is 17 months and 10 days.

When I put him on Diana's lap, he held his head, like it was going to burst. He was troubled, upset at her, angry. He wanted me to hold him. But he finally went to her, seemed to make up. He touched Andrew fairly gently, seemed interested. But again, he was highly upset when Andrew was breast feeding. Actually, Diana's milk does not come for 2 days, but it's stimulating to have the baby suck. William went into the corner and would not allow me to console him. It occurs to me now maybe I should have tried harder. The later, he tried to take Diana's breast out of Andrew's mouth.

Abuelo, Abuela, Virginia, Cliff, Vava, Harry, AJ, Emma, Jimmy, Paquita, Zsolt, Jacky, Nicole, Jessica, Ebo, Joseph came to Visit Diana. It really touched Diana to have so many visitors. William would not come to me when I had Andrew for a while, but we're slowly working him up to it. It makes me think of a book by Winnicott called The Piggle. The girl calls her little sister "sush baby". He's going to have to be gentle and tolerant of the baby. I want to encourage the feelings, they seem only natural. But I also want him to have a large spirit, for them to be allies and friends. He seems to show signs of that, I'm going to encourage that.

A mother of 10 told me that William will regress. I thought, how far back can he go. Well, today when I took him home, he was very clingy, insisting on being held. I woke him up by taking him out of the hospital room, we had to take the group into the family lobby, so as not to disturb the woman that shares Diana's room. He kept sitting in my lap like a baby for a long time.

Diana is glowing. I'm really glad she waited and did not ask for a c-section. And the time we spent before is saved after. She had been in a very good mood. She seems to be so happy.

Andrew is so sweet. He is opening his eyes more, looking around. They say he looks like William, and of course he looks more like him than anyone else, but I think he looks different. Virginia asked, "how?" I can not quantify it, define it, describe it. He's just a different person. They say he has blond highlights, he will be blond like William. I see William as having brown hair with some red highlights in certain light. Zane says there's a trace of red on his side of the family sometimes. He's so sweet. I can't wait till he comes. Better get some sleep so I can function tomorrow. It's a big day. I already communicated more effectively to the nurse, I'm hoping the doctor will do the circumcision early and Andrew will urinate so we can go home close to the 11 a.m. discharge time.