157. Projected Narcissism

Tuesday I was hoping to go to my sangha meeting, but I lost energy even though I got a good night's sleep. I think my fatigue is more than one night's sleep. Consequently, Diana told KayLa to come over to help her out. So when I didn't go, we decided to go out to dinner. It was nice to have dinner, though Diana is in a bit of a daze.

Aida gave KayLa permission to miss school, so she could be the one to helping out Wednesday. Alex, who's taken care of William 7 days while Abuela is in Ecuador, finally had to begin working. So I drove KayLa home to get some clothes and whatnot. I talked to Aida a little. Then we went to Joseph's to give him the Play Station 2, for his good grades. I never had time to play it. I'm trying to get rid of things, that was the easiest to give up. Then we went to Alex's to pick up the stroller and other things from her time taking care of William.

The bad news was that Diana's grandfather died. Diana called me when we were at Joseph's. He was suffering, and it was good his daughter got to see him. Virginia missed seeing him, but she'll be there for the funeral if she changes plans and does not continue on her vacation. Victor told Diana and he was all broken up, couldn't talk.

When we got home William was asleep. But he woke up and stayed awake till 1am. KayLa took care of him for a while, while I finished the new Yalom book of essays. I did dishes, and William played quietly to himself for a long time. It's nice to have her around, and Diana got some much needed sleep. But I got exhausted, and set him down in bed. So eventually he woke her up, and she breast fed him till he fell asleep. But because he was awake a lot last night, and I expect her grief, Diana called off work. Which is good, I'm glad she did that. Now she and KayLa can take care of William. Not too much pressure on either, and I won't worry about all 3.

Tomorrow we go to Chicago for Thanksgiving. I'm very much looking forward to seeing Mom and Rich. I told Elizabeth that love it when people dote on William, and she said, "he's a narcissistic projection of yourself, of course you would." I say provocative things all day, I'm a bit of an imp, I blow off some steam between clients, so maybe she's paying me back. Of course everyone is narcissistic to some degree, it's often a good thing. I really hope I see the real William, and am not projecting all the time. Also being with Mom and Rich will feel cozy. I hope to get some sleep and have some time to read. Mom says she'll keep him at night, and that we can go out one night to see some blues music. William was good on the flight down to Atlanta, so I'm not worried about flying. Diana has had the pleasure of her mother being around a lot, and I'm a bit envious because mom can be comforting.

I'd better cut this short and go to work.