168. Steps

William took steps when you walked him as an infant, in the doctor's office. He said it's a primitive instinct. But he's been standing, holding onto things, but not moving his legs. Diana's said she's seen a step or two. But last night while Virginia was guiding him, he took steps. It was quite amazing.

He's also sleeping on his side sometimes, he doesn't just sleep on his back all splayed out. Last night I went to bed, I couldn't finish watching Shrek 2. I woke up to see Diana put William in bed. Then she came to bed shortly. And then Virginia came in and took William. She said he woke up once in the night because he couldn't breath with all the mucus on his nose.

We were not organized enough to pack up and go home, dropping Diana off at her class, where she has a test today. So I just took Diana in, and we left William. I got back here by 9, and William was up.

Diana was studying last night, while I took care of him and watched The Last samurai. The samurai is a weird combination of some elements of Buddhism, discipline and violence, practicality. From a Buddhist point of view, you harm people. It's much better to be harmed than to harm someone else, though you should try to avoid being harmed. The last samurai could have just retired and gone off, but he chose not to. In the Korean Buddhist movie that came out recently, there's wacky seen where the "Buddhist" does a bunch of karate moves. I think "martial arts" have nothing to do with Buddhism, in my opinion. Martial arts uses meditation and is inspired by mindfulness and influenced by Buddhism, but I think it gets one point wrong--that violence is the solution, even if it's self defense. Self defense could be way before violence.

Last night, overhearing Diana talk to Alex, she said she'd caved into to all the opinions, everyone thought he should get a hair cut, and that she regrets letting us get the hair cut. I felt guilty, at railroading her. I was so caught up in my idea that he should not have hair in his eyes, that I did not see how important this is for Diana. I think William is cute, but I don't want to make his mother unhappy.

Eating has been difficult lately. Last night he flailed with his harms, hitting the spoon and the saucer the food was in, twice, making a mess. This morning I think I got more oatmeal on my shirt than I got into his mouth. He really wants to feed himself, but I'm afraid he's not coordinated enough yet to even attempt. But that's coming up close, he clearly wants to do it, and he's pretty insistent, which I do like.

His crawling is getting closer. I'm putting things out of his reach to create the tension to get to it. He moves forward, but one leg is still under him, not behind him. Sometimes he falls over on his face. He's still unstable, but he's really interested. I think his arms are strong enough, but he's having trouble coordinating his legs. His legs are strong for standing, but not so much at the angles of crawling.

He's more vocal. I know I've said it's more and more complex, but I see even more complexity, volume, and control. No words yet, but I see him getting close. He puts everything in his mouth, he slobbers over everything. I read in the What To Expect The First Year book that you need to worry more about the chemical cleaning agents on things, than things being dirty. He has had a runny nose that goes back and forth, since we've come back from Chicago.

Everything seems on the brink now, he's getting close to doing a lot more, functioning in way he hasn't yet, and that will change his consciousness drastically. He seems to be in between all this stuff, and the baby that he once was. It's gradual, these things are stages in my head, but I don't think they really exist.