338. Father and sons.

I had a nightmare where William fell, and hurt himself. I've heard the sickening thud twice, when he's hit the wood floor from a distance. My dream was an anxiety dream about it, but it's also suppressed negative thoughts, I think to be overly anxious. I have negative thoughts that are unacceptable, but they rattle around in my subterranean mind, and what is spit out is acceptable, worry about William, but it's worry about my negative thoughts that are unacceptable. Diana even agree to that interpretation. It's not experience near, which I prefer, but it sounds true.

Driving back to NYC last night, William was awake in the car. Gone are the days when he automatically falls asleep in the car.

I don't know how Diana does it. I fall asleep, but she keeps on going.

The older kids at Ava's party were nice to William, playing with him.

Andrew's doctor appointment, yielded the fact that he's 11 lbs, 4 oz. He's gained more than 2 pounds since the last doctor appointment. He's 22 inches long. The doctor says the constipation is not a problem. Only when it goes for 3 days, and he's only gone a day. The doctor says he has a gassy stomach, but that that's OK. It's probably from the thrush that Andrew has on his tongue, and Diana probably has on her nipples. She got medication for both.

Diana went out for 2 hours, to get the medication and drop off paperwork at her friend's house. I can't believe you have to do all this annoying paperwork to be pregnant and get 12 weeks off from work. It's stupid. It went smoothly, but I over-fed Andrew, in my efforts to quiet him, which I was trying to juggle him and William, and he threw up. That was the tipping point for me feeling overwhelmed. Of course the second Diana got home, he fell asleep. William get so sad sometimes when he's not got the ability to play with the adult, the adult is only in the background, supervising, but more connected to Andrew. He gave me the look he gives Diana.