5. Angry Hungry

Diana will fill me in later, but at around 8:30 a.m., she asked me if I would feed him a bottle. She needed some rest. It was hard for me to wake up, I can only imagine the tiredness she experiences. I wish I had a breast to feed William. I have breast envy. But not having the requisite anatomy, I get to sleep. But finally she ordered a bottle, and I was activated.

He needed a diaper change, and the bottle was heating up. His cries were angry. Sometimes he wakes up so hungry, he's angry about it, and makes more noise. When he first came home, his cries were like a quiet little bleat. But he's getting his lungs going. The anger comes in when he puts a little into the cries. He puts a little exclamation point onto the end.

We got a phone call, Natasia's dance recital was canceled. She's my 6 year old niece. She and her mother lived with us for a little while, when Harry left her for Angie, so I've spent a lot of time with her, and have a special connection. I missed the last recital, and was looking forward to this one. Diana called her mom, and I said, "why are you on the phone, you should be sleeping." Of course she was telling her mother the recital was canceled.

William is in the stoller next to me, sleeping. He just farted, grunted, and moved a little. He seems to have gone back to sleep.

The bottle stopped his angry cries, but when I took it out to burp him, he got angry. And he had the bottle some more, and I sneezed, and he lost his hold on it. So I took advantage of that to burp him some more. That got him kind of angry. But after that he was drowsy and did not cry for the bottle, so I did not feed it to him, and instead rocked him to sleep. He slept on my chest for a little while, and I picked up the Times sports page. Lakers won, Flames lost, Yankees won (damn Yankees) and there's an article on female college rowing. I stopped watching the games last night because I was tired, could not get into the game. I wanted to read some Buddhism. I'm reading Zen Mind, Beginners Mind for my study group, and William has a good beginners mind. But he's learned to get angry when he's hungry, sometimes, so he's losing his beginners mind.