14. Tiff

I pledged the care of William, but he was crying. Earlier when he was crying, I just sat there with him, Diana wanted me to comfort him. So when he cried, I said, "no, I can comfort him." Maybe I took umbrage first. But that got Diana mad, and she huffed, "fine, you take care of him." She took a shower, and I ended up, after trying to walk him, feeding him a bottle. I sat out on the porch as the sun went down, and it was quite pleasant, but a mite cold, so I brought him back in, and changed his diaper.

Diana came down and we made up a little, and she changed his diaper after a while. She was sitting there, she said, "we're all clean." And then William pooped out of his diaper, getting his new outfit dirty. She changed it, so I didn't feel like it was my bad diapering. I've got to stop being paranoid I'm going to make a mistake, I've already made plenty of them.

Now my question is whether it's a 9 poopy diaper, if she made the diaper too low in the back? I guess it doesn't matter, he pooped out his diaper, by definition, a level 9 poopy diaper. Earlier for me, he only had a 4.

Earlier Diana had instructed me to make a tighter diaper. He urinated out of his diaper, and messed up an outfit.

So she changed him, the whole outfit, plus diaper. He wiggled a while, and then fell asleep. He woke up, wiggled some more, and now he's eating again. Little guy can't get enough.

V, Aida, Natasia and Robyn are on their way back. Diana is ordering some Italian food.

The Zen advice about my worry about taking care of him from 7am till 3-4pm is not to worry. Just be absorbed in what I'm doing. Nothing special. But is that emotional repression, or is that pointing to how when you meditate you have more objectivity about the thoughts of the mind?

It's been an odd day. I got up really early, then slept late, and felt odd all day. I feel really tired now, and I've done very little today. I look forward to Sparky being held by Aida and Virginia. They dote on little William and I like to see it. He's pretty special to me.