12. Late Night

I missed William something fierce, yesterday. When he got home, it seemed like he'd grown an inch and gained a pound. We watched Down With Love, and put him to bed around 2am. I love it when he's all scrunched up, sleeping on my chest.

Around 3:30am, I heard the diaper rumblings, and then again. I was strangely awake, and Diana was strangely asleep, so I got up and changed his poopy Diaper, which was an 8. I fed him 4 oz. of formula and tried to rock him to sleep. But he kept fussing, and at one point he pulled away from me, and really started wailing. It woke Virginia up, and she fed him another 4 oz. I worried she was passing the puke zone. I'd never gotten past 6 oz. spread over more time.

Sure enough, he puked, but only a little bit. I went to soak it off her shirt, and she said to get him first. Then when I went to wipe it off him, she said, "gentle, he has baby skin."

I walked him to sleep, finally. I swaddled and put him to bed to the sounds of international lullabies, a CD my aunt Celeste gave me. I slept till 1pm, I was so exhausted from the ordeal.

I've just been holding him. He produced another monster diaper, another 8, and was the wiggle boy. Natasia, Robyn, Virginia and Aida went to a birthday part in Staten Island, a luau. Diana's feeding him now.

I fear for Tuesday. How am I going to handle being sleep deprived? Nobody is going to be around, like Virginia last night, to bounce ideas off, have opinions. I'll be OK though, and so will sweet William.

Missing him was a dull ache that just kept growing. We were planning on going for a hike today, but I don't feel so well. It's going to take me even longer to adjust to the stress of really taking care of him. Diana has been working so hard. I bet going back to work is going to feel like a break after taking care of William so much.