86. Visit from Cliff

My grandma Bell got a sound monitor before William did, but Diana finally got one. I asked her if that means we can move William to his room, she says, "not till he turns over."

I taped some of William today. We missed a few weeks of video taping him.

Cliff came over to see William. He said if he didn't come soon, he'd just grow up and he'd never see him grow up. It was a nice visit and Cliff asked good questions. How have I changed?

I would say mostly I've changed by being swamped with William's life. I hope to be less judgmental towards parents. I struggle with his strong emotions, just like I struggle with my strong emotions. I love little children now, and know how to hold him and comfort him. Each baby has a different feel.

Virginia has changed, in moving out here, by being more and more generous.

We went to the pool, and hung out on the porch. At the pool William cried when I walked away from him. When I said, "he's not supposed to do that till he's 8 or 9 or 10 months old," Aida said, "is that what you book tells you." That's what my professor told me, but I guess it's the central developmental moment around then. And we don't know if he really cried because he's attached to me, or his stomach felt hungry, or something else, he missed the movements I was making. But I think he is getting more and more attached to us, and more and more personality.

Virginia and Diana went to a movie. Aida helped me out, and took care of William especially when I drove Cliff home. Cliff asked me if I was scared I'd have a lapse of judgment with William, like the woman who left her baby outside a cafe in the stroller. I brushed him off, then later, drove out of the gas station and drove with my lights off for a few miles. Then I forgot to put the EZ pass back on the car, and will probably pay a big fine for not paying it at the George Washington Bridge. I've got zillions of lapses in judgment, I'm just going to try the best I can with William.

Abuelo and Abuela came over today. William is feasting in his Abuela's attention.