101. Tears

William got up at 7. I fed him, but he didn't eat much, unusual, given he had not woken up in the night to feed. I let him play for a while, and then I tried to feed him some more. He did not eat much, not more than 2 oz total. So I played with him and walked him. I picked him up, and he puked all over me. He's been burping a lot and farting, and I think eating peas and pears yesterday has been a bit of a shock to his system.

Diana woke up and tended to him, though I was hoping to let her sleep in. He fell back asleep around 9:15, but slept about 30 minutes and woke up. Diana put him in the crib and he played the piano with his feet, while we listened to his compositions on baby monitor. Diana ate breakfast, and I unclogged my wax clogged ear (#3 since William was born--better check that out). Then suddenly plans emerged, she had to get over to her mother's. So zip, she ran out, and now I can study, though now I just have an ache for my missing son, who pushed me away and held out his hands for her, much to her pleasure.

Last night when he cried when I walked away and stopped when I came back, I finally began to feel a kind of affection from him, somehow.

I picked Diana up from shopping and we drove into Manhattan to the East River Park, to see Bart's soccer game. We waited at the wrong field for a while, and then walked down to another one, where Friends was playing Trinity. Trinity won 4-0, or "nil" as Will said. It was fun to watch, but I was partially occupied with William. Bart got a little hurt, and he argued with the ref once. It seemed like a small field and Bart was in on some plays, he seemed to play well.

I went to dinner with Will and Bart. They woofed down their food like teenagers, and I had to wait till William got his fill of formula. It started to get loud at the bar, and one guy said to his rival, "I'd beat you up, if there wasn't that little girl there. People mistake William for a girl because he has long hair. A woman stopped us at the soccer game, and said, "my son had hair that long!"

Bart went off to visit a friend and I drove Will home. I went up to Cliff and Vava's and visited them with William. They are kind and interested in William, which is nice.

He cried all the way uptown in the car, and it was torture. He cried coming home too, and there were tears in his eyes. That kills me. There's nothing I could do. He was fed, and had a clean diaper, he just wanted comforting, but he had to make that distance without me in the child seat, in the back. I dislike traveling alone with him. I got home, and Diana got home soon after me, and he was happy we were all at home together.