105. Bam! Bam!

William cried when Diana went to the bathroom, after she got home. William cried when I went out. He's starting to get attached to us. He's not consistent. But he's doing it more and more. Like holding the bottle. When he holds the bottle, he wiggles it back and forth some. He likes to move his wrists. He moves his fingers and wrists. He's holding the bottle more consistently.

I went to bed very early last night, and when William woke up around 2:30, I had just woken up from a dream. I don't even think he woke up, he just kept thrashing and thrashing, grunting and sighing. I thought I'd feed him, because I was awake, and he seemed close to being awake. So he drank the bottle of breast milk with his eyes closed. I changed his diaper, and he finished the rest of the bottle. I walked him for a while to make sure he was asleep, and then when I put him down, I meditated for 30 minutes. I was so jazzed up, that I had to read for a little while to fall asleep.

William woke up close to the cut off time for Diana not to breast feed him. I had to get him out of the bed, which is always very hard somehow half asleep. He seems so heavy. She fed him, but he did not fall asleep. She laid him down next to me, and he proceeded to whack me in the face a few times, until I moved away from his arm swinging. He seems to be into being "bam bam" today, he was whacking himself in the leg, and I worried he would get a bruise. He's really physically active today, the most I've ever seen him.

He woke me up early, and somehow I was very tired. How can I wake up easily in the night, and then not so easily in the morning? I think it has to do with sleep accumulation and patterns.

He took a short nap with me. Then he played with his toys, and watched some PBS. At one point I changed the channel, to watch some sports news, and when I picked him up, her grabbed the remote, and started changing channels. I helped him to pick a kids channel, and he lost interest in the remote. Great, now he knows he can change the channel to something he likes. Before he just liked the colors, he would watch sports news with me. Now I'm going to be watching more children's programing. I do like some of it, Sesame Street, which is designed with the idea that parents are watching too, unlike Blues Clues which is designed with only the children in mind. Blues Clues is one of the most researched TV shows in the history of TV.

He rolled over on the couch. He went from back to front. Don't tell Diana, she'll want to see it herself for the first time. He's got a lot of energy today, he's wiggling, bam baming, and generally rocking and moving a lot. I took him for a walk, because he lays there when I walk, and it's good for me, and I hope good for him. We walk our block and then 2 more blocks and back. Not too far. I like to get out in the morning and the evening. I've been wearing shoes with socks for the first time in a long time. It's fall today, but it's getting warmer. I think the seasons should be based on temperatures, not dates in the calendar. I took him over to his Abuela's, because I've got to call to make an appointment for an interview. I should have 2 good interviews, good potential for a job amongst them. I'm hopeful. He was so cute, though, he seems to get cuter when I'm saying good bye to him. I'm still very ambivalent about going back to work.