439. Look mommy, I'm crying.

William climbed up the chain link wall at the playground. He drew with the chalk and then he says it's "thomas" or a "ghost". We went to get pizza and he fell asleep on the way back, and it was very hard to carry him. Luckily Natasia was with us to carry the pizza.

We skipped swimming because everyone is sick. They boys are clingy and weepy and sleepy.

When William is upset and trying to get something, he says, "look mommy, I'm crying."

438. Thanksgiving

My cold went to Andrew first. He didn't sleep well all week (neither
did we), until Friday when he slept till 11am! William had a terrible
night last night, and was weepy/upset quite easily today.

Our
Thanksgiving was good at Virginia and Tim's in New Jersey. We spent
Wednesday to Saturday there. So much more space for the boys to roam,
and they are kind and gracious hosts. Sorry we left such a mess.

Emma and AJ are getting christened today, congratulations to them. My poor grandmother Parks is in Newnan Hospital, I'm hoping she's going to be out soon.

Looking
at William's pictures he does not look always so happy. I'm getting a
few growling pictures. He's trying to reign in his urges to hit and
generally tantrum and I really respect the effort he's making. In a way
it makes me sad that he's got to master his will some because he's such
a sweet boy. He growls at Andrew sometimes, like I've growled at him.
What I do doubles back at me, parenthood can be a cruel mirror. But
it's also a good mirror, because he does have sweetness and kindness
too. He's become afraid of sharks and bugs and ghosts. His anger is
being projected out, and coming back to him, in these threats. I'm
working to help him to experience and feel his anger, but not act out,
and act in his best interest. To express it in more socially acceptable
ways.

I'm grateful to have such lovely boys, such a lovely wife,
such a lovely family, to have a job, co-op to live, my spiritual
community, my deeper friendships, to have found the teachings of the Buddha, to hear about his life, 2500 years later.

437. Kathy and Rich

We had a lovely visit from Kathy and Rich. They came in in the late afternoon on Friday, Rich up from a conference at Princeton, and Kathy from Chicago. The boys were thrilled to see them, and enjoyed the many presents they gave all of us. They gave the boys some great puzzle books, and some Lego.

Unfortunately I had a cold, and I went to bed early. I let Diana sleep in though, in the morning, and fixed Rich breakfast. Mom fixed dinner Friday night, and made some dishes Saturday. Rich and I took the boys to the park for a couple of hours. William says, "I want to go to the park," whenever I leave now.

I took a long nap in the afternoon, feeling quite under the weather. Aida came over, bringing they boys the DVD of Cars. We went out to dinner with Virginia and Tim. Thanks to Aida for watching the boys. Natasia was with her father Harry, so she wasn't there.

Saturday it wasn't long before I took Kathy and Rich to the airport. I think the boys had a splendid visit with their grandparents. They were exhausted Sunday night. Mia came over and played for a couple of hours. When William started crying like he only cries when he's really exhausted, we took Mia home. William wanted to go "home" with her. Mia can be a bit rough, but she's basically a good girl, and I think it's so important for children to develop socially that I want her over as much as possible. I was trying to rest on the bed, and they all climbed up on the bed to hinder my resting. Nevertheless it was a nice visit from Mia and William was unhappy to see her go. Andrew is sometimes left out of their fun, but he's a jovial fellow anyway.

436. Toot toot!

William puts his head down, and pretends to count. You can distinctly hear "two" but the rest of the numbers are a garble. Then he runs around, not really looking for a hiding place and runs all over the place.

They use the end table and a launching pad for their jumps onto the couch. I think with the lamps broken, we could get rid o the end tables.

Andrew goes "toot toot", and it's really cute. I was doing some yoga yesterday and they were climbing all over me like a jungle gym.

I came home last night, and my entry into the apartment led Diana to finally check out in a nap. She slept fitfully through the noise, and got some rest. I let her sleep in, and got up in the night when Andrew cried. She's been a trooper all week, but it's hard for me to imagine sleeping less and functioning. We're both at the end of our ropes with sleep and demands on our time.

344. New camera

Andrew is cute when he tries to jump like William. He squats down, moves upwards, and does not leave the ground. Maybe a leg lifts off, but he definitely doesn't get air, and if he does, it's very low, and he almost wipes out from the almost no air that he does get. It's very cute though.

We didn't do the swimming class last weekend, the boys had cold, and we didn't want them to get more sick, or pass their cold to others. It's been a stressful week because Diana has 2 school projects due. Wednesday Andrew woke up at 4:30 and I got up. This morning both of them got up at 6 and didn't go back to bed.

Emma and Abuala were here today when I got home. Harry came to pick up Emma, and Abuela left.

We've gotten a camera to replace the lost one. Diana bought a camera for her mother as a present on her trip to Europe, but she didn't give it to her in time, and so she decided to give it to us. So more photos coming in the future.

434. Halloween

Monday morning I had 2 lovely hours with Andrew before I went to work, playing and just enjoying his pure positive spirit. Tuesday I only had an hour with Andrew and his wonderfulness. Wednesday I had the joy of both Andrew and William. Thursday I had some Andrew and then some William. Something shifted in my mindfulness retreat and I've been able to be more present with the boys.

Halloween was good. William was Pablo and Andrew was a pumpkin. Natasia was a pirate, Aida a mouse. Natasia's cousins were a skeleton and a Power Ranger.

I love the immigrants in our neighborhood, they seem to enter into the spirit of Halloween more than others.

I'm going on a shorter retreat Friday to Saturday. It's good because I'll have Sunday with the boys.

I've connected with my cousin Katie, via e-mail, who's a freshman at Utah, which is lovely. I want to be connected to family.