at work

When I'm at work, I look at photos of the boys, to relax and calm down from intense sessions, to center me and remind me of what's important to me. I look at old ones of William and the photos I have on Flickr. Today I focused on this one. Andres must have just been crying. I'm kind of smirking, and Diana is outright laughing. It's Xmas last year. Andres has such long hair. This morning I accidentally bumped his head and I was holding him, and frantically trying to get my breakfast. I felt so horrible. I feel so inept at times in controlling myself. I have such ideals, and I fall so short of them. But I keep on trying. I love my boys.