New Jersey

Out here in Mahwah there's more wildlife. Saturday, I asked William if he would like to come out and get the paper with me. We went outside and there were 2 wild turkeys in Virginia and Tim's yard, very close. Then I saw an adolescent deer. Pretty cool. William had a huge meltdown when we came inside and I wouldn't give him a Popsicle for breakfast. He ended up eating the pancakes I made for him, in the end, but not after waking up Andrew and Diana.

I took Andrew for a walk to see the construction of the houses near by. He ended up playing in the mud puddles. We took a bath with William. They don't like the whirlpool. William refused to wash his hair. Then all the kids came over it was playtime. Emma, Frankie, AJ and Ava. They got Diana a James train because that's what William calls Diana. He's Thomas, Andrew is Percy and daddy is Gordon. I'm still embarrassed by that comparison. Gordon is pompous and self important, grandiose.

Tim gave us a CD of the Tennessee trip photos, so I'll be putting up some more of those photos. Seems like it was a wonderful trip, being in a different setting, visiting historical sites. They apparently liked playing in a stream. They like to throw rocks. I'm trying to teach them not to throw at people, if they have to throw rocks. William went on a Ferris wheels, which seems cool. They enjoyed a pool that had a one foot depth. Seemed like a lot of fun for them. I hope their lives are rich with positive experiences.

I'm aware of so many feelings watching them. I'm often overwhelmed by them all, and I have to shut down to tolerate it some. I feel like things should be a certain way, but when you just let children play and support them, things unfold OK. I ended up being in the basement with all the children (because my distaste for eating lobster in part and my vested interest in 2 of the many children) and I just watched the different levels of playing. AJ was trying to engage Frankie in competitive games. Frankie was overwhelmed and disappointed by himself and the older boy. William did a lot of running yesterday. He got into tug of wars with Emma and used crying to try to win the rope at times. Andrew can be aggressive with Ava. They're all in their own worlds at times. I think it's interesting the way they flock from here to there, upstairs, outside and around.

I'm often caught in the what to do aspect of parenting. Do I crack down and enforce an arbitrary rule that I don't really agree with? Do I let them run rampant over everything? It seems at once there's too much to do and then not enough. I think parenting is like erosion, it's long work. But the children grow up so fast, it's almost like the lessons you could teach them are quickly obsolete, they are beyond the problem.