On the one hand, I saw a boy in the park hit by a ball on his leg. My feeling was that I'd just shake it off and keep playing, but the boy cried, and his father went over and comforted him. I had a strong feeling that I would not have done that as a kid. I suspect that feeling, but there's a feeling that we were tougher when I was growing up. You don't want to raise a child that is a hot house flower.
On the other hand, there are articles in the Times about how you have to accept your children. There's a recent article that empathy precludes evaluation in your mind. Why not just be empathetic and come to understand your child?
Dialectical parenting tries to rise above extremes and see what is needed in the moment. Inspired by Buddhism and Derrida we understand the shifting grounds we walk on. We don't get trapped in rigid patriarchal stances, and other's projections and expectations about leadership. It's authentically grappling with life's great mysteries. To be apt and aware is the goal, honest and alive.
My son did an endo on his scooter this morning. He face-planted onto the cement. Not a pleasant experience. But he joked as he was going to school about showing others his battle scars. I liked that scrappiness, resilience. But I also howled at the pain my son suffered. I wish he didn't have to suffer, sometimes wish I could really shield him.
I've always felt that you parent from who you are. There's no easy fix, humans are so complex, and we all have our ups and downs. We kiss the joys and they go by as Blake said. But you're also trying to build character, which is no easy matter. Although my sons have done well so far. You have to have some yourself to impart it. What you do is more important that what you say to children. So as always, just be the best person you can be, realistically, not fakery. Kids see through fakes. As always, there's no easy way through, but the struggle is the best game in town.
On the other hand, there are articles in the Times about how you have to accept your children. There's a recent article that empathy precludes evaluation in your mind. Why not just be empathetic and come to understand your child?
Dialectical parenting tries to rise above extremes and see what is needed in the moment. Inspired by Buddhism and Derrida we understand the shifting grounds we walk on. We don't get trapped in rigid patriarchal stances, and other's projections and expectations about leadership. It's authentically grappling with life's great mysteries. To be apt and aware is the goal, honest and alive.
My son did an endo on his scooter this morning. He face-planted onto the cement. Not a pleasant experience. But he joked as he was going to school about showing others his battle scars. I liked that scrappiness, resilience. But I also howled at the pain my son suffered. I wish he didn't have to suffer, sometimes wish I could really shield him.
I've always felt that you parent from who you are. There's no easy fix, humans are so complex, and we all have our ups and downs. We kiss the joys and they go by as Blake said. But you're also trying to build character, which is no easy matter. Although my sons have done well so far. You have to have some yourself to impart it. What you do is more important that what you say to children. So as always, just be the best person you can be, realistically, not fakery. Kids see through fakes. As always, there's no easy way through, but the struggle is the best game in town.
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