Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
unexpected day with me boys
Paquita got stuck in PA because a car broke down. So I was with the boys an extra day. When I came home last night, they were saying they were doing homework, and said, "wicked". That's Natasia's influence. She was in the room writing an essay. She kept coming out, and Aida read it to her, and tried to make it sound better. They foreclose my attempts to use my own method to expand her though. I suppose I'm sensitive when my attempts to open things up are closed down--I get it all the time as a therapist, and in my personal life. I just want to open things up to explore and play with them.
Andrew liked going to school with William. He loved reading for a while, back at home, but then his attention wanders. I can't tell if Andres is more assertive about when a story isn't connecting with him, or if he has less concentration than William.
Last night we had a visitor, a dinner guest, with table cloth, wine and candles. The boys were of course very hyper, and difficult, but I was glad they came over anyway, so we can begin to work on civilizing the boys. They're pretty wild, and making them well mannered boys is a goal of ours.
Diana put the boys to sleep. I traded Sunday for Tuesday, so I'm going to be putting the boys to sleep 3 nights in a row, which I and the boys dread. Last night I read a book to the boys and William said, "Mommy's turn," and gave me a dismissive kiss, to say, "get out." I'm not as nice putting them to bed, so they prefer her.
Andrew liked going to school with William. He loved reading for a while, back at home, but then his attention wanders. I can't tell if Andres is more assertive about when a story isn't connecting with him, or if he has less concentration than William.
Last night we had a visitor, a dinner guest, with table cloth, wine and candles. The boys were of course very hyper, and difficult, but I was glad they came over anyway, so we can begin to work on civilizing the boys. They're pretty wild, and making them well mannered boys is a goal of ours.
Diana put the boys to sleep. I traded Sunday for Tuesday, so I'm going to be putting the boys to sleep 3 nights in a row, which I and the boys dread. Last night I read a book to the boys and William said, "Mommy's turn," and gave me a dismissive kiss, to say, "get out." I'm not as nice putting them to bed, so they prefer her.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Monday, November 19, 2007
Keep it moving
William resisted sitting on the potty right away. I waited him out and kept asking. He asked to sit on the big one.
Andrew was very clingy, he's coughing and has a runny nose. He seems to have gotten the most sick out of all of us. I worry my luxurious 5 days off this week (Wed-Fri plus the weekend) will end up with my body feeling it's OK to let down and be sick.
This weekend was lazy. Or challenging, I can't tell any more. I missed gymnastics class because William wouldn't get ready and I didn't impress my will on him. I miss having down time. I always feel on, like I need to be struggling to do something. So we had a bit of a mushy weekend because of that. William ended up going with Diana Saturday. William didn't want to go to the park either, so I spent some time with Andrew. We've all aligned Andrew with me, William with Diana. So Andrew fell asleep early--he slept 13.5 hours Sat to Sun. Diana ended up taking William to a move. Sunday we watched Shrek 3. Felt a little thin, but it's quite a good set of movies, I like it. I think it's lost on the kids. I think the transexual's portrayal is a offensive. I've got a lot of Shrek in me. "Better out than in," is my motto too, to the shagrin of my angelic wife. Lots of laundry to do, Diana didn't get back till later, so I missed my spiritual group because I had to catch up on reading for ICP. I get overwhelmed by the boys, want them gone, and then I miss them while they're gone. I put the boys to bed. They say, "It's mommy's turn, isn't it?" Not last night. Andrew fell asleep quickly, William is scared of the blanket--he's gotten scared of bugs and whatnot--which I interpret as anger about not getting his way with his mother, projecting out the anger, and it doubling back on him. I interpret the anger gently, validate it, and keep it moving.
Andrew was very clingy, he's coughing and has a runny nose. He seems to have gotten the most sick out of all of us. I worry my luxurious 5 days off this week (Wed-Fri plus the weekend) will end up with my body feeling it's OK to let down and be sick.
This weekend was lazy. Or challenging, I can't tell any more. I missed gymnastics class because William wouldn't get ready and I didn't impress my will on him. I miss having down time. I always feel on, like I need to be struggling to do something. So we had a bit of a mushy weekend because of that. William ended up going with Diana Saturday. William didn't want to go to the park either, so I spent some time with Andrew. We've all aligned Andrew with me, William with Diana. So Andrew fell asleep early--he slept 13.5 hours Sat to Sun. Diana ended up taking William to a move. Sunday we watched Shrek 3. Felt a little thin, but it's quite a good set of movies, I like it. I think it's lost on the kids. I think the transexual's portrayal is a offensive. I've got a lot of Shrek in me. "Better out than in," is my motto too, to the shagrin of my angelic wife. Lots of laundry to do, Diana didn't get back till later, so I missed my spiritual group because I had to catch up on reading for ICP. I get overwhelmed by the boys, want them gone, and then I miss them while they're gone. I put the boys to bed. They say, "It's mommy's turn, isn't it?" Not last night. Andrew fell asleep quickly, William is scared of the blanket--he's gotten scared of bugs and whatnot--which I interpret as anger about not getting his way with his mother, projecting out the anger, and it doubling back on him. I interpret the anger gently, validate it, and keep it moving.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Andres Poops In The Potty!
Andres pooped in the potty last night. I think they're both going to potty train at the same time, William at 3.6, and William at 2.1. William did urinate in the potty this morning too. I'm so proud of those boys.
I feel kind of split. There's a part of me that wants to force them to do it. There's a part of me that feels like they're going to have to follow directions at work. But that's quite a leap. The hope is that the less unconflicted they are growing up, the more available they will be to raise to the challenges of work. So I'm glad my overwhelmedness and passivity has allowed for it to unfold naturally, and now I see clearly how to guide him.
William was a little more open to cleaning up before he went to school this morning. I'm glad I've added that structure into the morning too. Now more consistent eating and bedtimes will be a good structure as well. My involvement in psychoanalytic training has put stress and pressure on the family (and me!). Diana is a supportive trooper though, bless her.
I feel kind of split. There's a part of me that wants to force them to do it. There's a part of me that feels like they're going to have to follow directions at work. But that's quite a leap. The hope is that the less unconflicted they are growing up, the more available they will be to raise to the challenges of work. So I'm glad my overwhelmedness and passivity has allowed for it to unfold naturally, and now I see clearly how to guide him.
William was a little more open to cleaning up before he went to school this morning. I'm glad I've added that structure into the morning too. Now more consistent eating and bedtimes will be a good structure as well. My involvement in psychoanalytic training has put stress and pressure on the family (and me!). Diana is a supportive trooper though, bless her.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Oedipal Drama
William got upset when I offered him breakfast the other day. Diana was there, and there was not obvious explanation why he was so upset with me. I think in those times, that don't make sense, I'm more inclined to go for an experience far interpretation. Perhaps William was angry at me, afraid I would swallow him up, destroy him for his projected aggression towards me, that rebounded back, and made him scared and upset. Poor Andrew and I are the odd men out. We form a band of brothers against the storm. Andrew sometimes cries with William and sometimes he realizes it's not happening to him and he seems happy.
The other day William shouted out "Thomas" in his sleep. Later he was crying about "ice creme".
Diana went to school with William yesterday. We're going to have him sit on the potty every time we change a diaper. And we're going to focus on making him clean up more. I did that this morning and told Ms. Shari, who said "excellent."
Two girls fight in the class--a couple of prima donas.
We got William a hair cut last night, for today's class photo. I put gel in William's hair to keep it in control. Diana had a cute outfit with a sweater vest, and Virginia bought him some new shoes.
The other day William shouted out "Thomas" in his sleep. Later he was crying about "ice creme".
Diana went to school with William yesterday. We're going to have him sit on the potty every time we change a diaper. And we're going to focus on making him clean up more. I did that this morning and told Ms. Shari, who said "excellent."
Two girls fight in the class--a couple of prima donas.
We got William a hair cut last night, for today's class photo. I put gel in William's hair to keep it in control. Diana had a cute outfit with a sweater vest, and Virginia bought him some new shoes.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Gordon
William said in his sleep, "Thomas." I thought he was just dreaming about Thomas. But then he said, "I'm not Gordon, I'm Thomas."
He calls me Gordon, so I wonder if he's feeling like Gordon in relation to Andres. I asked him about it when he woke up, but he couldn't really understand, so I don't know what was going on.
He calls me Gordon, so I wonder if he's feeling like Gordon in relation to Andres. I asked him about it when he woke up, but he couldn't really understand, so I don't know what was going on.
Friday, November 09, 2007
Natasia reads books.
William and Andres are being read to by Natasia. She's the mummy in the recent Halloween pictures. She's the one who lived with us when her mother and father split up, with her mother. She's the one who's been very precious to us, because of the tight relationship. As her mother sleeps on the couch, Diana does some work, and I blog a little bit before I go to bed, Natasia read to my boys. She reads really well to them, and while she's only 10, she does a good job with the boys. Sometimes she acts out on her jealousy and envy, or is just plain tired of being in charge with all the exhausted adults, but she's an absolute treasure to my boys, and I really appreciate that. The boys adore her, and have her in high regard.
We watched Ratatouille tonight. I enjoyed it. Finding Nemo is still my favorite, and Balto is pretty good, plus Cars is pretty good. I also like Tarzan. These movies have, I feel, very deep messages, many messages, and friendship, tolerance and flexibility of mind are important values. This is similar, and as I watch this movie, possibly over and over again, we'll see how it stands up. That is if it makes that cut by the boys taste.
We watched Ratatouille tonight. I enjoyed it. Finding Nemo is still my favorite, and Balto is pretty good, plus Cars is pretty good. I also like Tarzan. These movies have, I feel, very deep messages, many messages, and friendship, tolerance and flexibility of mind are important values. This is similar, and as I watch this movie, possibly over and over again, we'll see how it stands up. That is if it makes that cut by the boys taste.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Andres as James
Andres wouldn't wear his James costume, maybe because it dragged, he's not tall enough. But he put it on the other day.
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