William said, "duck" after he heard it on the TV yesterday. We hugged him and jumped around. I'm trying specially hard to give him attention and support through this difficult transition. So is Diana, but he's more angry with her. He's shown his anger, and regressed, and my heart goes out to him. He slept from 1-7 two nights ago, and was cranky, but slept during the day. I collapsed last night, I can't say when they went to bed. Diana hopes to sleep early tonight, with Virginia coming over.
On Tuesday when Andrew came home, I was holding him. I beckoned for William to come over. He walked backwards towards me, he could not look at me when I was holding the baby. He has a new anguished cry. He used to just have three cries. A light pain, a high pain, and a pleading pain. Now he has an anguished pain one, that breaks my heart.
Last night when we came home from Andrew's appointment, William wanted to go upstairs with Aminta and Steve. He would not go to his mother, but he went to me. I can only imagine how bad Diana feels, but she's doing her best considering the different demands.
Friday, September 30, 2005
325. A's Dr. Visit
Dr. Reischer says that Andrew has no evidence of Erb's Palsy, which is the name the call permanent nerve damage from shoulder dystocia. He's not ever going to refer us to a physical therapist, he sees it as unnecessary. We might ask to go to a pediatric neurologist just to make sure. His reflexes were normal.
Andrew weighs 9 lbs. 3 oz. He's gained 2 ounces in what has been 6 days outside the womb. He's still the same height.
We saw in the paperwork that his billyrubens peaked at 13.7 on the 3rd day. Dr. Reischer said he's seen them in the 20's with out any problems, and he thinks the dangers are over exaggerated.
He gave him his hepatitis B inoculation.
I also gave him Diana's family of thyroid problems: Diana's mother, sister and aunt have all had surgery to varying degrees. He said that tends to bother men less somehow.
I've noticed his cone head is going away, his skull is reforming after it's trip through the narrow birth canal.
I haven't mentioned it, but he has the werewolf ears that William had when he was born. Harry ears. It goes away, but is hardly noticeable.
So everything is fine, we return in 2 weeks.
We had a nice conversation with a woman who is about 6 months behind us in the project to have 2 babies close together, in the waiting room. She seemed so curious about our experience.
Andrew weighs 9 lbs. 3 oz. He's gained 2 ounces in what has been 6 days outside the womb. He's still the same height.
We saw in the paperwork that his billyrubens peaked at 13.7 on the 3rd day. Dr. Reischer said he's seen them in the 20's with out any problems, and he thinks the dangers are over exaggerated.
He gave him his hepatitis B inoculation.
I also gave him Diana's family of thyroid problems: Diana's mother, sister and aunt have all had surgery to varying degrees. He said that tends to bother men less somehow.
I've noticed his cone head is going away, his skull is reforming after it's trip through the narrow birth canal.
I haven't mentioned it, but he has the werewolf ears that William had when he was born. Harry ears. It goes away, but is hardly noticeable.
So everything is fine, we return in 2 weeks.
We had a nice conversation with a woman who is about 6 months behind us in the project to have 2 babies close together, in the waiting room. She seemed so curious about our experience.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
324. Home
Andres/Andrew came home today! Harry helped to get him home. I came home for lunch. Work sent us a wonderful flower and plant, plus a teddy bear. I went home for lunch, but it turns out they had planned to celebrate my fatherhood and got a cake.
I was holding Andrew, and asked William to come over to me. He walked backwards, he could not handle my holding Andrew. He's more fussy, quick to cry and demand attention.
I took him to the park after I got home. He can't really join in with others, but he did interact with Pedro a little bit. The park is always different. Today it seemed more Hispanic, not as Indian/Bangladeshi/Pakistan or Jewish as it sometimes can be. Sometimes it's more diverse. Sometimes it's dominated by one group. Or also age groups. There were middle schooler types today. One little girl said, "I hate Russian."
Aminta and Steven were visiting when I got home. Aminta held Andrew. Aminta wants Steven to play with William.
I was holding Andrew, and asked William to come over to me. He walked backwards, he could not handle my holding Andrew. He's more fussy, quick to cry and demand attention.
I took him to the park after I got home. He can't really join in with others, but he did interact with Pedro a little bit. The park is always different. Today it seemed more Hispanic, not as Indian/Bangladeshi/Pakistan or Jewish as it sometimes can be. Sometimes it's more diverse. Sometimes it's dominated by one group. Or also age groups. There were middle schooler types today. One little girl said, "I hate Russian."
Aminta and Steven were visiting when I got home. Aminta held Andrew. Aminta wants Steven to play with William.
323. Billyrubens down
There's an article in the Times on doulas. There's going to be a documentary on PBS this month. The link for the Times article is:
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/25/national/25doula.html?incamp=article_popular
William has gotten into his Elmo DVD. And his Teletubbies DVD. And his Sesame Street video. I ordered a bunch more Sesame Street DVDs, since he's into it.
His dystocia seems to be going away. Not completely yet, but there's been improvements and there's no reason to think he won't continue to progress
Diana called me at work, the first day back at work, to inform me that his billyrubens were still to high and they wanted to put him under the light for one more day. Diana called last night and his billyrubens are down. We're supposed to call today at 8. Most likely, though I don't want to get my hopes up too hight to be crushed, he will come home today.
William is as cute as ever. Cliff wants to teach him mammography because it's very hard to learn for a radiologist because the level of pattern recognition is very complex, and you either call for a biopsy, and there's nothing, which is a scary painful hassle, or you miss it, and it comes back to you that you missed it. He thinks if we start William now on mammography, he has a good chance of being good at it.
Hopefully Andrew comes home today while I'm at work. Diana's brother Harry will drive Diana to the hospital. We found the little book about being a big brother for William, so we can read that to him. I've gotten some good nights sleep, which has been the only positive thing I can think about Andrew staying in the hospital so long, except tonight. William woke up just before dawn, and somehow I woke up. Thought I'd do something useful and blog it.
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/25/national/25doula.html?incamp=article_popular
William has gotten into his Elmo DVD. And his Teletubbies DVD. And his Sesame Street video. I ordered a bunch more Sesame Street DVDs, since he's into it.
His dystocia seems to be going away. Not completely yet, but there's been improvements and there's no reason to think he won't continue to progress
Diana called me at work, the first day back at work, to inform me that his billyrubens were still to high and they wanted to put him under the light for one more day. Diana called last night and his billyrubens are down. We're supposed to call today at 8. Most likely, though I don't want to get my hopes up too hight to be crushed, he will come home today.
William is as cute as ever. Cliff wants to teach him mammography because it's very hard to learn for a radiologist because the level of pattern recognition is very complex, and you either call for a biopsy, and there's nothing, which is a scary painful hassle, or you miss it, and it comes back to you that you missed it. He thinks if we start William now on mammography, he has a good chance of being good at it.
Hopefully Andrew comes home today while I'm at work. Diana's brother Harry will drive Diana to the hospital. We found the little book about being a big brother for William, so we can read that to him. I've gotten some good nights sleep, which has been the only positive thing I can think about Andrew staying in the hospital so long, except tonight. William woke up just before dawn, and somehow I woke up. Thought I'd do something useful and blog it.
Monday, September 26, 2005
322. Setback
I went over to Abuela's to get Diana and take her and William to the hospital. We went there and he had not urinated, which he needs to do to leave the hospital, and it took a while for the physical therapy people to come. Diana breast fed, and then she fed him the bottle hoping he would urinate, so we could take him home. He puked all over the place. We're back to burping and trying to be in tune with the baby so we don't over feed him.
I took William outside for some lunch, and then Diana took him for some lunch. That was a little preview of the juggling act we're going to have to have.
Andrew's billyrubens were too high (12), he's getting jaundice. So we decided to be safe and keep him in the hospital. If untreated and it goes up, he could have hearing problems and learning disabilities. If they go up, then he'll need the light for 12 hours, that breaks them down, and they will test him more, monitor him more closely. Otherwise it will go down or stay the same, in which case, being older by a day, his liver will be able to handle it. We were very disappointed. I got a chance to meditate, so I had more resources to handle this setback. And it's not serious, it's just a matter of taking time.
The physcial therapist gave us some exercise for Andy's dystocia in his left shoulder. The following link is a informative site about dystocia. Seems it's rare, and most of the time the nerves regenerate.
http://shoulderdystociainfo.com/
No photos today, but I took the video camera.
We watched Land Before Time, and then William wanted a Sesame Street DVD. I'm going to choose the Spanish language option in the future for DVDs. I think he's going to learn English, that will be the dominant language. But I want him to be exposed to Spanish as much as possible to give him a chance to be bilingual. We got an extra DVD for Emma.
I took William outside for some lunch, and then Diana took him for some lunch. That was a little preview of the juggling act we're going to have to have.
Andrew's billyrubens were too high (12), he's getting jaundice. So we decided to be safe and keep him in the hospital. If untreated and it goes up, he could have hearing problems and learning disabilities. If they go up, then he'll need the light for 12 hours, that breaks them down, and they will test him more, monitor him more closely. Otherwise it will go down or stay the same, in which case, being older by a day, his liver will be able to handle it. We were very disappointed. I got a chance to meditate, so I had more resources to handle this setback. And it's not serious, it's just a matter of taking time.
The physcial therapist gave us some exercise for Andy's dystocia in his left shoulder. The following link is a informative site about dystocia. Seems it's rare, and most of the time the nerves regenerate.
http://shoulderdystociainfo.com/
No photos today, but I took the video camera.
We watched Land Before Time, and then William wanted a Sesame Street DVD. I'm going to choose the Spanish language option in the future for DVDs. I think he's going to learn English, that will be the dominant language. But I want him to be exposed to Spanish as much as possible to give him a chance to be bilingual. We got an extra DVD for Emma.
321. Uterus Contractions
Diana had a hard time leaving Andres last night. She went to visit him at the nursery, where the hospital insists he remain.
William fell asleep at his Abuela's, so Diana left him there. We had a good night sleep, and Abuela called up saying William was crying for his mother, so she rushed over, after a leisurely wake up. I'm going to be up against it starting tonight. I look forward to the challenge.
Diana says Andy passed his hearing test. Diana is doing well, but she's getting uterus contractions, as her uterus tries to shrink back to it's regular size.
I thank Virginia, Abuela, Aida and Abuelo for all the support they have given. I can't imagine getting through these past days without them. Extremely generous.
I thank everyone for their well wishes.
I called up the nursery at 9:30, and the circumcision had not been performed, nor had the physical therapist doctor come. Surely tonight he will come home, and we'll have the whole family together in our home tonight.
William fell asleep at his Abuela's, so Diana left him there. We had a good night sleep, and Abuela called up saying William was crying for his mother, so she rushed over, after a leisurely wake up. I'm going to be up against it starting tonight. I look forward to the challenge.
Diana says Andy passed his hearing test. Diana is doing well, but she's getting uterus contractions, as her uterus tries to shrink back to it's regular size.
I thank Virginia, Abuela, Aida and Abuelo for all the support they have given. I can't imagine getting through these past days without them. Extremely generous.
I thank everyone for their well wishes.
I called up the nursery at 9:30, and the circumcision had not been performed, nor had the physical therapist doctor come. Surely tonight he will come home, and we'll have the whole family together in our home tonight.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
320. Andres not Andrew
Andrew turns out to be named Andres. I saw the birth certificate and she wrote "Andres Wyatt Bell". Turns out she wanted Andres all along. I couldn't convince her the other way.
I'm going to call him Andrew. Andrew has a shoulder dystocia. As he was coming out of Diana, his left shoulder got caught on Diana's pelvis. There might be nerve damage. Because North Shore at Forest Hills Hospital doesn't have a pediatrics clinic, we can't check out and come back tomorrow. Once you're discharged, you can't come back. Thanks so much. Paperwork rules mean we can't have Andrew home today.
And the gynecologist who was going to do the circumcision heard this, and postponed her work, so we couldn't take him out and bring him home, and go somewhere else later. She never asked us what we wanted, like her brief work in the labor room, when she came in to break her water, without even discussing it. She was offended when, counter to the patient's bill of rights, we asked her to explain what she wanted to do and why. I think she's the main directly unpleasing person. The others are insurance and administrators who make rules.
Anyway, I'm looking into the dystocia to learn more about it. I think it's all right, but he might not be a referee in the NFL because he can't get his left hand up all the way, right now. They say it will probably go away. I was lifting it up and rotating it today.
The first doula called Diana to tell her that her story is the talk of the doulas. To be such a trooper, to stick it out and have a V-Bac.
Diana checked out reluctantly, and I stayed with Andrew and watched the Jets game. He guzzled down some formula, and then puked. I gave him less, and burped him successfully later, and he kept it down. I took some photos. I've taken almost 200 photos over the past few days, I think I need to cool my jets.
Virginia, Aida, Natasia and her father are fixing up the place, getting it ready for Andrew. William probably thinks Andrew was nothing but a bad dream. I wonder how he's going to take it tomorrow when Andrew comes home. He's had a few tastes, and has done quite well.
I'm going to call him Andrew. Andrew has a shoulder dystocia. As he was coming out of Diana, his left shoulder got caught on Diana's pelvis. There might be nerve damage. Because North Shore at Forest Hills Hospital doesn't have a pediatrics clinic, we can't check out and come back tomorrow. Once you're discharged, you can't come back. Thanks so much. Paperwork rules mean we can't have Andrew home today.
And the gynecologist who was going to do the circumcision heard this, and postponed her work, so we couldn't take him out and bring him home, and go somewhere else later. She never asked us what we wanted, like her brief work in the labor room, when she came in to break her water, without even discussing it. She was offended when, counter to the patient's bill of rights, we asked her to explain what she wanted to do and why. I think she's the main directly unpleasing person. The others are insurance and administrators who make rules.
Anyway, I'm looking into the dystocia to learn more about it. I think it's all right, but he might not be a referee in the NFL because he can't get his left hand up all the way, right now. They say it will probably go away. I was lifting it up and rotating it today.
The first doula called Diana to tell her that her story is the talk of the doulas. To be such a trooper, to stick it out and have a V-Bac.
Diana checked out reluctantly, and I stayed with Andrew and watched the Jets game. He guzzled down some formula, and then puked. I gave him less, and burped him successfully later, and he kept it down. I took some photos. I've taken almost 200 photos over the past few days, I think I need to cool my jets.
Virginia, Aida, Natasia and her father are fixing up the place, getting it ready for Andrew. William probably thinks Andrew was nothing but a bad dream. I wonder how he's going to take it tomorrow when Andrew comes home. He's had a few tastes, and has done quite well.
319. Abusive Hospitals
The anger I feel is large. The physical therapist does not work on Sunday, so they want Andrew to stay in the hospital another day. Because of this, without consulting us, Andrew's circumcision is delayed another day as well. Diana can come home today, but she doesn't want to. She wants to spend the time with Andrew. Her breasts have begun to produce milk.
They tell us. They don't give us options. They don't say, "If you take your child, then it will be complicated to get an appointment and follow through, we would just like you to stay another day. And if you take your child home, it makes it more difficult for us to see the baby when it's convenient for us. Plus it might be harder to bill for us." I am considering just taking him out of the hospital.
I find hospitals abuse the trust that we give them. From the nurses who kept opening Diana's labor room door when she wished otherwise, to the doctors who did not wish to discuss the procedures. One doctor said to me, "You want to have the baby in a hospital? This is what we do." Which is counter to the patients rights posted on a wall, where doctors must give complete disclosure. Also, an aspect of the patient's bill of rights is not to fear reprisals for being assertive. Ah, but I do. When Diana refused to take antibiotics before her water was broken, they woke her up to get her to sign a sheet. And then they stayed away from her. Later when we wanted the antibiotics, they were nowhere to be found. Once the sheet was signed, they washed their hands, as if that was it.
And in the end it's all about inconvenience. It's Sunday. Of course we can't take our baby home. I feel so angry.
They tell us. They don't give us options. They don't say, "If you take your child, then it will be complicated to get an appointment and follow through, we would just like you to stay another day. And if you take your child home, it makes it more difficult for us to see the baby when it's convenient for us. Plus it might be harder to bill for us." I am considering just taking him out of the hospital.
I find hospitals abuse the trust that we give them. From the nurses who kept opening Diana's labor room door when she wished otherwise, to the doctors who did not wish to discuss the procedures. One doctor said to me, "You want to have the baby in a hospital? This is what we do." Which is counter to the patients rights posted on a wall, where doctors must give complete disclosure. Also, an aspect of the patient's bill of rights is not to fear reprisals for being assertive. Ah, but I do. When Diana refused to take antibiotics before her water was broken, they woke her up to get her to sign a sheet. And then they stayed away from her. Later when we wanted the antibiotics, they were nowhere to be found. Once the sheet was signed, they washed their hands, as if that was it.
And in the end it's all about inconvenience. It's Sunday. Of course we can't take our baby home. I feel so angry.
Saturday, September 24, 2005
318. Siblings
We survived the ordeal of birth, a long run up to labor. Diana did wonderfully. Andrew is amazing. I went to take William to see them, finally. William had not seen Diana for several days. He has slept over at his Abuela's, but after he fell asleep, and she went to him in the morning. I've been out of town for the weekend, but he's not been away from Diana so long in his 17 months. Today he is 17 months and 10 days.
When I put him on Diana's lap, he held his head, like it was going to burst. He was troubled, upset at her, angry. He wanted me to hold him. But he finally went to her, seemed to make up. He touched Andrew fairly gently, seemed interested. But again, he was highly upset when Andrew was breast feeding. Actually, Diana's milk does not come for 2 days, but it's stimulating to have the baby suck. William went into the corner and would not allow me to console him. It occurs to me now maybe I should have tried harder. The later, he tried to take Diana's breast out of Andrew's mouth.
Abuelo, Abuela, Virginia, Cliff, Vava, Harry, AJ, Emma, Jimmy, Paquita, Zsolt, Jacky, Nicole, Jessica, Ebo, Joseph came to Visit Diana. It really touched Diana to have so many visitors. William would not come to me when I had Andrew for a while, but we're slowly working him up to it. It makes me think of a book by Winnicott called The Piggle. The girl calls her little sister "sush baby". He's going to have to be gentle and tolerant of the baby. I want to encourage the feelings, they seem only natural. But I also want him to have a large spirit, for them to be allies and friends. He seems to show signs of that, I'm going to encourage that.
A mother of 10 told me that William will regress. I thought, how far back can he go. Well, today when I took him home, he was very clingy, insisting on being held. I woke him up by taking him out of the hospital room, we had to take the group into the family lobby, so as not to disturb the woman that shares Diana's room. He kept sitting in my lap like a baby for a long time.
Diana is glowing. I'm really glad she waited and did not ask for a c-section. And the time we spent before is saved after. She had been in a very good mood. She seems to be so happy.
Andrew is so sweet. He is opening his eyes more, looking around. They say he looks like William, and of course he looks more like him than anyone else, but I think he looks different. Virginia asked, "how?" I can not quantify it, define it, describe it. He's just a different person. They say he has blond highlights, he will be blond like William. I see William as having brown hair with some red highlights in certain light. Zane says there's a trace of red on his side of the family sometimes. He's so sweet. I can't wait till he comes. Better get some sleep so I can function tomorrow. It's a big day. I already communicated more effectively to the nurse, I'm hoping the doctor will do the circumcision early and Andrew will urinate so we can go home close to the 11 a.m. discharge time.
When I put him on Diana's lap, he held his head, like it was going to burst. He was troubled, upset at her, angry. He wanted me to hold him. But he finally went to her, seemed to make up. He touched Andrew fairly gently, seemed interested. But again, he was highly upset when Andrew was breast feeding. Actually, Diana's milk does not come for 2 days, but it's stimulating to have the baby suck. William went into the corner and would not allow me to console him. It occurs to me now maybe I should have tried harder. The later, he tried to take Diana's breast out of Andrew's mouth.
Abuelo, Abuela, Virginia, Cliff, Vava, Harry, AJ, Emma, Jimmy, Paquita, Zsolt, Jacky, Nicole, Jessica, Ebo, Joseph came to Visit Diana. It really touched Diana to have so many visitors. William would not come to me when I had Andrew for a while, but we're slowly working him up to it. It makes me think of a book by Winnicott called The Piggle. The girl calls her little sister "sush baby". He's going to have to be gentle and tolerant of the baby. I want to encourage the feelings, they seem only natural. But I also want him to have a large spirit, for them to be allies and friends. He seems to show signs of that, I'm going to encourage that.
A mother of 10 told me that William will regress. I thought, how far back can he go. Well, today when I took him home, he was very clingy, insisting on being held. I woke him up by taking him out of the hospital room, we had to take the group into the family lobby, so as not to disturb the woman that shares Diana's room. He kept sitting in my lap like a baby for a long time.
Diana is glowing. I'm really glad she waited and did not ask for a c-section. And the time we spent before is saved after. She had been in a very good mood. She seems to be so happy.
Andrew is so sweet. He is opening his eyes more, looking around. They say he looks like William, and of course he looks more like him than anyone else, but I think he looks different. Virginia asked, "how?" I can not quantify it, define it, describe it. He's just a different person. They say he has blond highlights, he will be blond like William. I see William as having brown hair with some red highlights in certain light. Zane says there's a trace of red on his side of the family sometimes. He's so sweet. I can't wait till he comes. Better get some sleep so I can function tomorrow. It's a big day. I already communicated more effectively to the nurse, I'm hoping the doctor will do the circumcision early and Andrew will urinate so we can go home close to the 11 a.m. discharge time.
Friday, September 23, 2005
316. Andrew is born!
Andrew Wyatt Bell was born at 5:54pm on September 23. He weighs 9 pounds 1 ounce. He was born by V-Bac, no forceps, no suction, no tears. He looks like William except going through the birth canal, his head is cone shaped for the moment. Because he got a little stuck, his left arm is a little weak, the doctors say that will go away, temporary nerve damage. We're proud happy new parents. I'm too exhausted to write more, I'll try later, if the high waters of fatherhood do not swamp me. Diana is fine, elated.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
315. Waiting...
I came home to get some warmer clothes, the hospital is very cold. They put her on drips that get her going. The doula we originally had, had another woman go into labor, so we got her backup, Maria. They're already giving her trouble about going to the bathroom, they said she can't get out of bed any more, it's inconvenient. If Diana did not feel comfortable with a hospital birth, I would say lets get a home birth midwife. I feel very angry at how the medical establishment makes rules and says things like, "you can't go to the bathroom any more," or, "only so many people in the room." I've seen Diana sign so many things, answer the same questions over and over again. She's happy through it all, so I'm trying not to suck her down with my negative energy. She think I'm paranoid when I say that I think a nurse unplugged the phone so we wouldn't use it. Anyway, there's chemicals dripping into her to ripen her. Diana's mother and Joselo went in to see her when I left. I left when Virginia got there. It's cold cold cold, and I need warmer clothing to stand the experience. I'm so tired, I'm not sure how I'm going to handle the night and morning. I know it's not all about me, but it's a trial for me, with my wimpy ways. I suppose I need to suck it up and be strong for Diana, so I can support her as best I can. Nothing to report yet. Will update as soon as possible, but I'm off back to the hospital.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
314. Heading to the hospital soon
Here is the web site for the hospital we are going to:
http://www.northshorelij.com/body.cfm?id=61
We're supposed to be there in almost 2 hours for the induction. I'm guessing he's not coming till the morning, he will be born on the first day of autumn. William will be an only child for a little while longer. I worry so much about his adjustment, but I know he will be OK and adjust, he's young and he's strong. I had insomnia last night.
William is as cute as ever. He seems to be saying "baby," as if a premonition of what must be beyond his imagination: a baby brother. I know he will resent the bonding between Diana and Andrew. I'm not sure what his regression will look like, perhaps more clingy. I'm committed to doing my level best to try and smooth the transition and adjustment.
Diana was a good girl and walked a lot yesterday and today, to help the baby come down, to ripen, so to speak. William has slept over at his grandparents before, but they will be with him. I thank them.
I'm grateful for all the well wishing.
http://www.northshorelij.com/body.cfm?id=61
We're supposed to be there in almost 2 hours for the induction. I'm guessing he's not coming till the morning, he will be born on the first day of autumn. William will be an only child for a little while longer. I worry so much about his adjustment, but I know he will be OK and adjust, he's young and he's strong. I had insomnia last night.
William is as cute as ever. He seems to be saying "baby," as if a premonition of what must be beyond his imagination: a baby brother. I know he will resent the bonding between Diana and Andrew. I'm not sure what his regression will look like, perhaps more clingy. I'm committed to doing my level best to try and smooth the transition and adjustment.
Diana was a good girl and walked a lot yesterday and today, to help the baby come down, to ripen, so to speak. William has slept over at his grandparents before, but they will be with him. I thank them.
I'm grateful for all the well wishing.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
313. Pina para nino
William slept through the night for the 5th time. Virginia christened our couch for people sleeping over. She likes this one better, the space between the cushions does not hurt her back like the old couch did. Diana say it's not wide enough for her to sleep on. I haven't fallen asleep on it either.
I gave him a bottle, then he woke up Virginia and she let me meditate. After meditating, I took William to get breakfast at the bagel place. He was shouting for a while in exuberance. I thought of Whitman's barbaric yawp. He wore my Mets hat for a little while. He likes to be in my arms when we get there, so I have to take him out of the stroller. I bought some cut up fruit, and he at some pineapple. I said to myself, "pina para nina," like the waiters did one to our rafting guide when her ordered pineapple juice, when we were in Ecuador, to mess with him.
In my absences some wholesale reorganizing was done, getting stuff out of William's room. Virginia is helping us to store and keep stuff that doesn't fit into our apartment. If she moves that's going to be scary. They have gone off to baby 'r us and target to do some shopping. I got in another meditation, organized, cleaned and read. And sat at the computer.
I gave him a bottle, then he woke up Virginia and she let me meditate. After meditating, I took William to get breakfast at the bagel place. He was shouting for a while in exuberance. I thought of Whitman's barbaric yawp. He wore my Mets hat for a little while. He likes to be in my arms when we get there, so I have to take him out of the stroller. I bought some cut up fruit, and he at some pineapple. I said to myself, "pina para nina," like the waiters did one to our rafting guide when her ordered pineapple juice, when we were in Ecuador, to mess with him.
In my absences some wholesale reorganizing was done, getting stuff out of William's room. Virginia is helping us to store and keep stuff that doesn't fit into our apartment. If she moves that's going to be scary. They have gone off to baby 'r us and target to do some shopping. I got in another meditation, organized, cleaned and read. And sat at the computer.
Saturday, September 17, 2005
312. Virginia
William has slept through the night the past 4 nights, which we greatly appreciate. I skipped my mitra meeting to let Diana get some sleep. I took William to the park. Steven was there with his father and grandfather, but his soccer game did not happen, perhaps because it was threatening rain. It did rain later in the evening. Virginia came over with some breakfast. First AJ was there, then Emma after Virginia went and got her. She also drove Venus to her father's.
William hugged Emma and we all cooed. They fight over toys and seats and attention. Emma looks at her father the way Angie does sometimes. She gives me the look sometimes too.
Diana and Virginia took them to the park, Diana thought there was some children thing. But it turns out there wasn't, but they had fun at the park anyway. I watched part of movie and then slept. They came back hot and tired. One time Emma and William were holding hands, and everyone cooed. Emma says some words, which is exciting. Harry had joined them at the park, and also Aida and Natasia, and then joined us back at the house. He worked all night, ran a 5K, and then hung out with everyone today. Angie came over, when she got off work. She had some nice pictures of AJ's first day of school. Harry and Angie read the birth plan. Angie said, "good luck getting them to read this," or something to that effect.
Harry and Angie took their brood home (Venus is with her father). The word is that Harry is going to ask Angie to marry him when they are on vacation in Jamaica in October. Diana has relaxed about Angie, and has reconciled that Harry has left Aida and won't be coming back. Since we baby sit them all so much, we're getting closer. I wish everyone well.
Virginia went out and got us dinner (bless her). Judy and Brian (age 8) came over. Brian, who is smart, is having trouble with his school because he has a diaper, and the school doesn't want to bother with the problem. Also they pull him out of class for some of his services, he was born with spina bifida. They're filling out a form so he can get those services at home. The board of education has to be pushed to act in the best interest of children. I'm glad Judy uses Diana and Aida as a resource on how to negotiate the system. Brain said, "William is not as aggressive as Nicole," his cousin who is 3 months younger. He is very sweet with William. Virginia drove Judy home. She's been running around Queens all day, uniting and separating the family all day. She's driving Judy over to Alba's, she's going to visit them.
William hugged Emma and we all cooed. They fight over toys and seats and attention. Emma looks at her father the way Angie does sometimes. She gives me the look sometimes too.
Diana and Virginia took them to the park, Diana thought there was some children thing. But it turns out there wasn't, but they had fun at the park anyway. I watched part of movie and then slept. They came back hot and tired. One time Emma and William were holding hands, and everyone cooed. Emma says some words, which is exciting. Harry had joined them at the park, and also Aida and Natasia, and then joined us back at the house. He worked all night, ran a 5K, and then hung out with everyone today. Angie came over, when she got off work. She had some nice pictures of AJ's first day of school. Harry and Angie read the birth plan. Angie said, "good luck getting them to read this," or something to that effect.
Harry and Angie took their brood home (Venus is with her father). The word is that Harry is going to ask Angie to marry him when they are on vacation in Jamaica in October. Diana has relaxed about Angie, and has reconciled that Harry has left Aida and won't be coming back. Since we baby sit them all so much, we're getting closer. I wish everyone well.
Virginia went out and got us dinner (bless her). Judy and Brian (age 8) came over. Brian, who is smart, is having trouble with his school because he has a diaper, and the school doesn't want to bother with the problem. Also they pull him out of class for some of his services, he was born with spina bifida. They're filling out a form so he can get those services at home. The board of education has to be pushed to act in the best interest of children. I'm glad Judy uses Diana and Aida as a resource on how to negotiate the system. Brain said, "William is not as aggressive as Nicole," his cousin who is 3 months younger. He is very sweet with William. Virginia drove Judy home. She's been running around Queens all day, uniting and separating the family all day. She's driving Judy over to Alba's, she's going to visit them.
311. Birth Plan for Andrew
Our wishes for Childbirth
Diana Katherine Parks & Steve Bell
Due Date: September 29th
Patient of Dr. Claudia Ravins
Scheduled to deliver at North Shore at Forest Hills.
9/17/05
Birth Plan
This will be our second child, our second son. This birth plan is intended to express the preferances and desires for us for the birth. We fully realize that situations might arise such that our plan could not and should not be followed. However we hope all staff to discuss all proceedures with us, with the mother and partners before they are performed.
Sincerely,
Diana Parks & Steve Bell
Labor
I would prefer to avoid an enema and/or shaving of pubic hair.
I would like to be free to walk around during labor.
I wish to be able to move around and change position at will throughout labor.
I would like to be able to have fluids by mouth throughout the first stage of labor.
I will be bringing my own music to play during labor.
I would prefer to keep the number of vaginal exams to a minimum.
I do not want an IV unless I become dehydrated.
Monitoring
I do not wish to have continuous fetal monitoring unless it is required by the condition of Andrew.
I do not want an internal monitor unless Andrew has shown some sign of distress.
Labor Augmentation/Induction
I do not wish to have the amniotic membrane ruptured artificially unless signs of fetal distress require internal monitoring.
Anesthesia/Pain Medication
I realize that many pain medications exist — I'll ask for them if I need them.
Cesarean
Unless absolutely necessary, I would like to avoid a Cesarean.
If a Cesarean delivery is indicated, I would like to be fully informed and to participate in the decision-making process.
I would like my husband and sister present at all times if Andrew requires a Cesarean delivery.
I wish to have an epidural for anesthesia
So I can view the birth, I would like the screen lowered just before delivery of Andrew.
If Andrew is not in distress, Andrew should be given to my husband immediately after birth.
Episiotomy
I would prefer not to have an episiotomy unless absolutely required for the baby's safety.
I would appreciate guidance in when to push and when to stop pushing so the perineum can stretch.
I would prefer an episiotomy rather than a tear.
I would like a local anesthetic to repair a tear or an episiotomy.
Delivery
I would like to be allowed to choose the position in which I give birth, including squatting.
I would like My husband and sister and/or nurses to support me and my legs as necessary during the pushing stage.
I would like a mirror available so I can see Andrew's head when it crowns.
I would like the chance to touch Andrew's head when it crowns.
Even if I am fully dilated, and assuming Andrew is not in distress, I would like to try to wait until I feel the urge to push before beginning the pushing phase.
I would like to have Andrew placed on my stomach/chest immediately after delivery.
Immediately After Delivery
I would like to have My husband or sister cut the cord.
I would like to hold Andrew while I deliver the placenta and any tissue repairs are made.
I would like to have Andrew evaluated and bathed in my presence.
I plan to keep Andrew near me following birth and would appreciate if the evaluation of Andrew can be done with Andrew on my abdomen, with both of us covered by a warm blanket, unless there is an unusual situation.
If Andrew must be taken from me to receive medical treatment, My husband and sister or some other person I designate will accompany Andrew at all times.
I would prefer to hold Andrew rather than have him placed under heat lamps.
I do not want a routine injection of pitocin after the delivery to aid in expelling the placenta.
I would like to see the placenta after it is delivered.
I would like to hold the baby for at least fifteen minutes before he is photographed, examined, etc., unless Andrew is in distress.
I would like to donate the umbilical cord blood, if possible.
Postpartum
I would like a private room, if available.
Unless required for health reasons, I do not wish to be separated from Andrew.
I would like to have the baby "room in" and be with me at all times, if family members are present. If my family is not present, I would like the option of putting him in the nursery.
Breastfeeding
I plan to breastfeed Andrew and would like to begin nursing very shortly after birth.
Unless medically necessary, I do not wish to have any bottles given to Andrew (including glucose water or plain water).
Circumcision
I would like Andrew to be circumcised before we check out of the hospital.
Eye Care
I would like to delay eye care until after I have bonded with the baby.
Photo/Video
I would like to take still photographs during labor and the birth.
I would like to make a videorecording of labor and/or the birth.
Other
I would like vitamin K to be administered orally to Andrew, if that is available..
My support people are my husband Steve Bell, my sister Virginia Salazar and a Doula named Jami. I would like them to be present during labor and/or delivery.
I would like my other children to be able to visit me and Andrew in the hospital.
I would prefer that no students, interns, or non-essential personnel touch me during my labor or the birth, but they may be present for learning purposes.
Diana Katherine Parks & Steve Bell
Due Date: September 29th
Patient of Dr. Claudia Ravins
Scheduled to deliver at North Shore at Forest Hills.
9/17/05
Birth Plan
This will be our second child, our second son. This birth plan is intended to express the preferances and desires for us for the birth. We fully realize that situations might arise such that our plan could not and should not be followed. However we hope all staff to discuss all proceedures with us, with the mother and partners before they are performed.
Sincerely,
Diana Parks & Steve Bell
Labor
I would prefer to avoid an enema and/or shaving of pubic hair.
I would like to be free to walk around during labor.
I wish to be able to move around and change position at will throughout labor.
I would like to be able to have fluids by mouth throughout the first stage of labor.
I will be bringing my own music to play during labor.
I would prefer to keep the number of vaginal exams to a minimum.
I do not want an IV unless I become dehydrated.
Monitoring
I do not wish to have continuous fetal monitoring unless it is required by the condition of Andrew.
I do not want an internal monitor unless Andrew has shown some sign of distress.
Labor Augmentation/Induction
I do not wish to have the amniotic membrane ruptured artificially unless signs of fetal distress require internal monitoring.
Anesthesia/Pain Medication
I realize that many pain medications exist — I'll ask for them if I need them.
Cesarean
Unless absolutely necessary, I would like to avoid a Cesarean.
If a Cesarean delivery is indicated, I would like to be fully informed and to participate in the decision-making process.
I would like my husband and sister present at all times if Andrew requires a Cesarean delivery.
I wish to have an epidural for anesthesia
So I can view the birth, I would like the screen lowered just before delivery of Andrew.
If Andrew is not in distress, Andrew should be given to my husband immediately after birth.
Episiotomy
I would prefer not to have an episiotomy unless absolutely required for the baby's safety.
I would appreciate guidance in when to push and when to stop pushing so the perineum can stretch.
I would prefer an episiotomy rather than a tear.
I would like a local anesthetic to repair a tear or an episiotomy.
Delivery
I would like to be allowed to choose the position in which I give birth, including squatting.
I would like My husband and sister and/or nurses to support me and my legs as necessary during the pushing stage.
I would like a mirror available so I can see Andrew's head when it crowns.
I would like the chance to touch Andrew's head when it crowns.
Even if I am fully dilated, and assuming Andrew is not in distress, I would like to try to wait until I feel the urge to push before beginning the pushing phase.
I would like to have Andrew placed on my stomach/chest immediately after delivery.
Immediately After Delivery
I would like to have My husband or sister cut the cord.
I would like to hold Andrew while I deliver the placenta and any tissue repairs are made.
I would like to have Andrew evaluated and bathed in my presence.
I plan to keep Andrew near me following birth and would appreciate if the evaluation of Andrew can be done with Andrew on my abdomen, with both of us covered by a warm blanket, unless there is an unusual situation.
If Andrew must be taken from me to receive medical treatment, My husband and sister or some other person I designate will accompany Andrew at all times.
I would prefer to hold Andrew rather than have him placed under heat lamps.
I do not want a routine injection of pitocin after the delivery to aid in expelling the placenta.
I would like to see the placenta after it is delivered.
I would like to hold the baby for at least fifteen minutes before he is photographed, examined, etc., unless Andrew is in distress.
I would like to donate the umbilical cord blood, if possible.
Postpartum
I would like a private room, if available.
Unless required for health reasons, I do not wish to be separated from Andrew.
I would like to have the baby "room in" and be with me at all times, if family members are present. If my family is not present, I would like the option of putting him in the nursery.
Breastfeeding
I plan to breastfeed Andrew and would like to begin nursing very shortly after birth.
Unless medically necessary, I do not wish to have any bottles given to Andrew (including glucose water or plain water).
Circumcision
I would like Andrew to be circumcised before we check out of the hospital.
Eye Care
I would like to delay eye care until after I have bonded with the baby.
Photo/Video
I would like to take still photographs during labor and the birth.
I would like to make a videorecording of labor and/or the birth.
Other
I would like vitamin K to be administered orally to Andrew, if that is available..
My support people are my husband Steve Bell, my sister Virginia Salazar and a Doula named Jami. I would like them to be present during labor and/or delivery.
I would like my other children to be able to visit me and Andrew in the hospital.
I would prefer that no students, interns, or non-essential personnel touch me during my labor or the birth, but they may be present for learning purposes.
Friday, September 16, 2005
310. Danny's
We met with the doula last night. She's helping us to have a more conscious birthing experience, to understand our options better. I'll put the birth plan in for a blog when it's more finalized.
William gave me a wonderful hug Thursday when he saw me. I hope to never forget that hug.
I'm not sure if Vava still has the string, but to my knowledge Virginia is the only one left with the string of protectors from William's Buddhist naming ceremony. Diana realized she doesn't have any more, she was surprised. Aida lost hers too.
Diana reports William goes nuts with the softie truck song, wants to go out for something.
William seems to love disorder. He messes the house up. Emma is saying "backpack", "Nati", "baby" and "AJ". She makes the sound from Backyardigans. Supposedly Nicole puts away her toys, when she's done. William is good at climbing, and manipulating, but not so much yet at communicating and cleaning up.
Aida, who has much merit, baby sat, so Diana and I could go out to dinner. We went to Danny's, which we haven't been to in a long time. We went over the birth plan and had good conversation. That's a lovely place. William enjoyed the company of Aida, KayLa and Natasia. He said, "Dada," when I came home.
William gave me a wonderful hug Thursday when he saw me. I hope to never forget that hug.
I'm not sure if Vava still has the string, but to my knowledge Virginia is the only one left with the string of protectors from William's Buddhist naming ceremony. Diana realized she doesn't have any more, she was surprised. Aida lost hers too.
Diana reports William goes nuts with the softie truck song, wants to go out for something.
William seems to love disorder. He messes the house up. Emma is saying "backpack", "Nati", "baby" and "AJ". She makes the sound from Backyardigans. Supposedly Nicole puts away her toys, when she's done. William is good at climbing, and manipulating, but not so much yet at communicating and cleaning up.
Aida, who has much merit, baby sat, so Diana and I could go out to dinner. We went to Danny's, which we haven't been to in a long time. We went over the birth plan and had good conversation. That's a lovely place. William enjoyed the company of Aida, KayLa and Natasia. He said, "Dada," when I came home.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
309. Wait to Monday
The gynecologist says wait till Monday to come back again, and hope for Diana to go into labor. She says everything is good, except the cervix is not getting ready. Everything else is ripening. We're doing the homework well, but she says do more.
Diana called a doula. I think she helped Diana to make more conscious how she wants to birth Andrew. I'm looking forward to meeting her.
I'm off to the Mets game. Two nights with little William contact. That's why I came home for lunch today. Diana says, "you're with him tomorrow night!" Of course, I want to be with him.
Diana called a doula. I think she helped Diana to make more conscious how she wants to birth Andrew. I'm looking forward to meeting her.
I'm off to the Mets game. Two nights with little William contact. That's why I came home for lunch today. Diana says, "you're with him tomorrow night!" Of course, I want to be with him.
308. Backyardigans
William led me to the ice creme truck, so I bought him a softie. Diana says he was playing hide and seek at the store the other day. We have our furniture finally, all right. One section is not attached, which annoys me, because they put it onto Diana to solve. Now I just need my garage back for the convenience... and ... wall hangings... a new kitchen...
My mother called on vacation. She thought Diana was going to be induced. She's going to the gynecologist today.
Angie bought an extra DVD of the Backyardagans, William is watching it now. I came home for lunch to see William. I'm going to the Mets game with the home our agency works with, tonight, and I didn't see him last night. He was asleep when I came, but he woke up. Precious little boy, I love him so much.
My mother called on vacation. She thought Diana was going to be induced. She's going to the gynecologist today.
Angie bought an extra DVD of the Backyardagans, William is watching it now. I came home for lunch to see William. I'm going to the Mets game with the home our agency works with, tonight, and I didn't see him last night. He was asleep when I came, but he woke up. Precious little boy, I love him so much.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
307. Big brother?
AJ and Harry came over Sunday to help us with putting some of the stuff he took apart, back together. We put in the AC which was bought with a gift from Di Bell, and finally got it in the window, got the box out of the ground. William and AJ played some with the box. Aida and Natasia came over. Aida went out to get a driving lesson from Diana's father. The house looks better thanks to the book shelf Jen and Damon gave us. Diana was always afraid the huge one we had would fall on one of our children when they tried to climb it when we were not looking. Virginia kindly took boxes and boxes and bags of stuff. So now we need the right furniture, the garage cleaned out so I can park there again, and I'll finally feel settled. I'm looking forward to the kitchen being redone, because I want the microwave out of the dining room, that would free up some space. William enjoyed other kids being around.
I forgot to mention William pooped in the bathtub yesterday.
William slept from 11-8, he didn't wake up. Diana shut his window some, she thinks the pollen may be keeping him up.
In the evening, I met Virginia in the park with William. Then took him home, and gave him a bath.
Monday night William went in and out of fussiness. I took him to the park when I got home. There was a new crowd. Some woman asked where William's big brother was. Did they mean AJ? They had talked to Abuela. A sweet little girl named Tina played with William, and she even asked if she could come home with us. William got licked in the face by a dog. The guy said, "my wife would go crazy if she saw that."
I forgot to mention William pooped in the bathtub yesterday.
William slept from 11-8, he didn't wake up. Diana shut his window some, she thinks the pollen may be keeping him up.
In the evening, I met Virginia in the park with William. Then took him home, and gave him a bath.
Monday night William went in and out of fussiness. I took him to the park when I got home. There was a new crowd. Some woman asked where William's big brother was. Did they mean AJ? They had talked to Abuela. A sweet little girl named Tina played with William, and she even asked if she could come home with us. William got licked in the face by a dog. The guy said, "my wife would go crazy if she saw that."
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