Out here in Mahwah there's more wildlife. Saturday, I asked William if he would like to come out and get the paper with me. We went outside and there were 2 wild turkeys in Virginia and Tim's yard, very close. Then I saw an adolescent deer. Pretty cool. William had a huge meltdown when we came inside and I wouldn't give him a Popsicle for breakfast. He ended up eating the pancakes I made for him, in the end, but not after waking up Andrew and Diana.
I took Andrew for a walk to see the construction of the houses near by. He ended up playing in the mud puddles. We took a bath with William. They don't like the whirlpool. William refused to wash his hair. Then all the kids came over it was playtime. Emma, Frankie, AJ and Ava. They got Diana a James train because that's what William calls Diana. He's Thomas, Andrew is Percy and daddy is Gordon. I'm still embarrassed by that comparison. Gordon is pompous and self important, grandiose.
Tim gave us a CD of the Tennessee trip photos, so I'll be putting up some more of those photos. Seems like it was a wonderful trip, being in a different setting, visiting historical sites. They apparently liked playing in a stream. They like to throw rocks. I'm trying to teach them not to throw at people, if they have to throw rocks. William went on a Ferris wheels, which seems cool. They enjoyed a pool that had a one foot depth. Seemed like a lot of fun for them. I hope their lives are rich with positive experiences.
I'm aware of so many feelings watching them. I'm often overwhelmed by them all, and I have to shut down to tolerate it some. I feel like things should be a certain way, but when you just let children play and support them, things unfold OK. I ended up being in the basement with all the children (because my distaste for eating lobster in part and my vested interest in 2 of the many children) and I just watched the different levels of playing. AJ was trying to engage Frankie in competitive games. Frankie was overwhelmed and disappointed by himself and the older boy. William did a lot of running yesterday. He got into tug of wars with Emma and used crying to try to win the rope at times. Andrew can be aggressive with Ava. They're all in their own worlds at times. I think it's interesting the way they flock from here to there, upstairs, outside and around.
I'm often caught in the what to do aspect of parenting. Do I crack down and enforce an arbitrary rule that I don't really agree with? Do I let them run rampant over everything? It seems at once there's too much to do and then not enough. I think parenting is like erosion, it's long work. But the children grow up so fast, it's almost like the lessons you could teach them are quickly obsolete, they are beyond the problem.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Friday, July 27, 2007
Statue of Liberty
The boys went to the Statue of Liberty with some relatives from Ecuador, their great uncle and aunt. I'll be posting some photos soon, I hope. Poor Diana is exhausted and sore from yesterday's heat, carrying the boys when they were insistent.
Andrew says, "nook" instead of milk sometimes. Very cute. William says /kat-a-rati/ instead of karate. Very cute. I remember Natasia's /double dow/ for "W" and /rackamony/ for macaroni.
William keeps telling me his Caterpillar died. Then it turned into a butterfly. But then it's wings were damaged. That's Natasia's story.
I'm really looking forward to spending time with the boys this weekend. I really feel their need for me, want to be there for them.
Andrew says, "nook" instead of milk sometimes. Very cute. William says /kat-a-rati/ instead of karate. Very cute. I remember Natasia's /double dow/ for "W" and /rackamony/ for macaroni.
William keeps telling me his Caterpillar died. Then it turned into a butterfly. But then it's wings were damaged. That's Natasia's story.
I'm really looking forward to spending time with the boys this weekend. I really feel their need for me, want to be there for them.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
My caterpillar died
William couches his wishes in saying that Andrew wants something. He's learned something there somehow, just doesn't quite hit the mark. A woman at the park today said he was "friendly". Andrew is more aloof, needs an adult.
Andrew is often sweet, will follow directions quicker, if he understands. He copies his brother, wants to do what his brother does. He pouts, will make a big show of laying down and sulking about not getting his way. He very much wants things. He's quick to sense conflict, he'll mix it up in the park more quickly if someone pushes him or something.
Diana went out with Aida to look at places. Aida has to move out by 2008, and she's got time in the summer to look, so she's trying to resolve it in the summer. I began trying to potty train William. Accidents and attempts. Nati got sick of looking at places and Abuelo brought her over.
William continues to say, "my caterpillar died." One night about a month ago, Natasia told a story about how caterpillars died at her school, some lived, one had damaged wings. William perhaps reacted to my empathy for Natasia, and tells me that his died. I'm afraid I'm blase about his story.
So this Sunday I was on the job from 6:30am to 4:30pm, and then Diana mercifully took the boys over to her mother's. They're celebrating her birthday, which is coming soon, with a lobster-fest. They have as many lobsters as you can eat. Diana is crunching away on lobsters after everyone is done. Good for her, she deserves to be treated well.
Virgian corrects me later with this comment on Monday: "Yesterday's get together was supposed to be a farewell BBQ for my aunt & uncle; but Mom somehow had a birthday cake for Diana & Ceci. We're getting together next Saturday for the lobster fest at my house. BTW Di's birthday is tomorrow."
Andrew is often sweet, will follow directions quicker, if he understands. He copies his brother, wants to do what his brother does. He pouts, will make a big show of laying down and sulking about not getting his way. He very much wants things. He's quick to sense conflict, he'll mix it up in the park more quickly if someone pushes him or something.
Diana went out with Aida to look at places. Aida has to move out by 2008, and she's got time in the summer to look, so she's trying to resolve it in the summer. I began trying to potty train William. Accidents and attempts. Nati got sick of looking at places and Abuelo brought her over.
William continues to say, "my caterpillar died." One night about a month ago, Natasia told a story about how caterpillars died at her school, some lived, one had damaged wings. William perhaps reacted to my empathy for Natasia, and tells me that his died. I'm afraid I'm blase about his story.
So this Sunday I was on the job from 6:30am to 4:30pm, and then Diana mercifully took the boys over to her mother's. They're celebrating her birthday, which is coming soon, with a lobster-fest. They have as many lobsters as you can eat. Diana is crunching away on lobsters after everyone is done. Good for her, she deserves to be treated well.
Virgian corrects me later with this comment on Monday: "Yesterday's get together was supposed to be a farewell BBQ for my aunt & uncle; but Mom somehow had a birthday cake for Diana & Ceci. We're getting together next Saturday for the lobster fest at my house. BTW Di's birthday is tomorrow."
Andrew, Steve and William
I have so much trouble with the fact that people don't like their photos taken, they worry whether it is good enough. I'm not wild about this photo of me, but I think the boys are good, and it's a nice over all photo.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
text post
I took William to My Gym. He loses power and control as it goes on, which means he has it to lose, and he gets tired. We had a bagel with Emma and Lia, and their parents afterwards. We ended up hanging out with Lia's parents, brought them back out our place. Then we got into some You Tube armature Thomas The Tank Engine videos. He likes this one best.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Teach Your Children Well
Crosby Stills Nash & Young - Teach Your Children Lyrics
You who are on the road
Must have a code that you can live by
And so become yourself
Because the past is just a good bye.
Teach your children well,
Their father's hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked, the one you'll know by.
Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.
And you, of tender years,
Can't know the fears that your elders grew by,
And so please help them with your youth,
They seek the truth before they can die.
Teach your parents well,
Their children's hell will slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked, the one you'll know by.
Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Monday, July 16, 2007
A rare text blog.
William said today, "how many days to Saturday?" Well, today is Monday. Andrew wants to vroom vroom, which means he wants to go to the car, put the key in, and turn the wheel and press all the buttons.
Virginia and Tim's son, who's middle name is going to be Lee and last name is Miller, and first name is yet to be decided, will have hand me down clothes from the following individuals: Mateo, Tyler, Evan, William and Andrew. He should not want for clothes.
Zane and Bridget sent some t-shirts from their recent vacation. The boys wore them yesterday. They have a cute card which is a picture of the boys. Grandma Parks framed it, she liked it so much.
Virginia and Tim's son, who's middle name is going to be Lee and last name is Miller, and first name is yet to be decided, will have hand me down clothes from the following individuals: Mateo, Tyler, Evan, William and Andrew. He should not want for clothes.
Zane and Bridget sent some t-shirts from their recent vacation. The boys wore them yesterday. They have a cute card which is a picture of the boys. Grandma Parks framed it, she liked it so much.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
william, rich & andrew
I took a bunch of this pose with these people, and this is the best one of Andrew.
will getting a hait cut
Yesterday they had gymnastics, lunch, hair cut. The night before William got it into his head that he wanted Thomas snow plow, and Diana and Aida took them to get them. Andrew got a Curious George book. The weekend before that Grandma and Grandpa visited, which is the subject of the next two photos.
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Potty Training Update
William disliked underwear after using his potty. He refused to put it on, and refused the training pants diapers, and insisted on a diaper. One step forward two steps back.
Potty in the potty
William has been wearing underwear this weekend. He just urinated in his potty for the first time.
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
they're back!
The first thing I noticed about the boys was their smell. Not the puke smell from them puking a lot on the ride up, but just their smell. It was so good to see them. Then Virginia set them up with cups and slices of pizza, no juice cup, not cutting the pizza. Seemed like they grew up. But then William spilled his cup 3X and Andrew can't really hold a slice right to eat it, and I realize that was more my fear or whatnot. They're still winding down from the excitement of seeing me again. I skipped my sangha night to be with them. They have this yearning when it comes to me, it's really wonderful, and I too have a yearning to be with them. William is trying to tell me everything, gets overwhelmed. The whole thing is overwhelming. I'm glad their back.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
William and Maya
William, Andrew and Diana went to Dolly Wood today. Poor Andrew just threw up in the car, again, Diana had to get off the phone. The boys got a tan being out by the pool a lot. I hope to see them tomorrow night! They're driving home after dinner tonight.
Andrew, Diana, William & Mateo
I miss them! Can't wait to see them Monday! Plus Mateo, who's birthday party these photos are from. Thanks to Aida for sending them.
Friday, June 29, 2007
I miss my boys
I miss my boys. Diana sent me a text message when they arrived which eased my anxiety, and a picture of Andrew, which warmed my heart.
Still trying to figure out the flip video camera, so I'm ready for when the boys come home and I can began to integrate video into this blog. I didn't sleep as much as I wanted to last night because I got intoxicated by the beast of technolust.
Still trying to figure out the flip video camera, so I'm ready for when the boys come home and I can began to integrate video into this blog. I didn't sleep as much as I wanted to last night because I got intoxicated by the beast of technolust.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Bart, William, Robyn and Andrew
We had a picnic last Sunday with Will, Bart, Di and Wes. Robyn, Natasia and Aida also joined. We had a grand time.
So my boys have gone, my wife is gone. I am going to go home to an empty home that will not be full again until Monday. I hope they have a safe journey, hope they have a good time.
So my boys have gone, my wife is gone. I am going to go home to an empty home that will not be full again until Monday. I hope they have a safe journey, hope they have a good time.
Natasia and Aida
Natasia and Aida are often around us, and we're lucky to have them in our lives.
On Seaseme Street today they had the "It Takes A Street" episode, riffing off It Takes a Village. Aida and Natasia are part of our village.
On Seaseme Street today they had the "It Takes A Street" episode, riffing off It Takes a Village. Aida and Natasia are part of our village.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Andrew's pretend play
Only 2 more days of Paquita. We really appreciate her working with the boys. Diana's last day is Wednesday and then they're going down to Tenn. I'm going to miss my little boys. I hope to read, rest, socialize and meditate a lot while they're gone Wednesday to Monday.
Similar to a photo with William
We have a photo similar to this of William holding a bottle and holding Elmo. I'm not sure if I can dig it up. We sent out a lot of photos to people. Of course they don't have to look at them. There are gaps at times. We lost the recharger, and we lost the patch cord. We're going video soon, Bridget and Zane are sending us a video recorder that has an easy interface.
William and Andrew
We had a lovely time seeing Bart, Will, Di and Wes. Thanks again for the picnic. We went to the Central Park Zoo. Photos to follow of the actual event.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Diana and the boys
This photos was from Seth's party. We're going to Mateo's party this afternoon in Long Island.
gymnastics classes
We took William and Andrew to gymnastic classes. I think it's going to be good for William to learn to listen and follow directions and I hope maybe some friendships can develop out of this. Similar to swimming, Andrew was a bit overwhelmed by it all. But we'll try in 2 weeks, to get Andrew into it. We had him joining in on William's one, but there's a younger class.
Robyn had horse back riding classes, and Natasia had Spanish class, so it was the day of classes.
Andrew fell asleep with me around 8--bless him. William went to bed around 9:30. Andrew woke up early.
Robyn had horse back riding classes, and Natasia had Spanish class, so it was the day of classes.
Andrew fell asleep with me around 8--bless him. William went to bed around 9:30. Andrew woke up early.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Bell brothers
Around 3 a.m., William was saying, "Andrew kicked me!" Of course when I left them they were in their own beds. Andrew woke up at 6:30 this morning. yeesh.
William
William said last night, "I don't love you daddy." He was mad, I was putting him to bed, and Diana went to sleep. He wanted his mommy when I turned off the light.
This morning Andrew did pretend play. He fed Elmo some water. I worked to enhance it, recognize it, develop it.
This morning Andrew did pretend play. He fed Elmo some water. I worked to enhance it, recognize it, develop it.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
William, Andrew and Gretchen
We had a lovely visit from Gretchen. She was driving north and stopped in, and we're grateful for that.
William went to the doctor. The doctor asked him, "who's that lady over there?" pointing to Diana.
William said, "that's not a lady, that's my brother."
"No," the doctor said, "holding your brother?"
"Oh, that's my mommy."
Maybe he was correcting the gender of his brother, which I've been correcting. He called him "her" and "sister" a few times.
Last night, Andrew got angry at William and said to William, pointing, "go to your room!" But Diana sent him to the room when he hit William. I sent him to the room this morning for hitting his brother. Yeesh. How do we learn to handle these conflicts?
William went to the doctor. The doctor asked him, "who's that lady over there?" pointing to Diana.
William said, "that's not a lady, that's my brother."
"No," the doctor said, "holding your brother?"
"Oh, that's my mommy."
Maybe he was correcting the gender of his brother, which I've been correcting. He called him "her" and "sister" a few times.
Last night, Andrew got angry at William and said to William, pointing, "go to your room!" But Diana sent him to the room when he hit William. I sent him to the room this morning for hitting his brother. Yeesh. How do we learn to handle these conflicts?
Monday, June 18, 2007
Tricycles
For father's day we went to breakfast at a diner. The boys were pretty good, it's been a nightmare at times when we go out to eat, but they sat in their seats for the most part, and ate.
Then we went to Jones Beach. William was afraid of bugs, but there wen't any, and we had a grand time. The boys fell asleep on the drive home.
Daddy got to take a nap since it was father's day, but I woke up more tired. I went off to meet for study with my buddhist friends, and the boys went to grandma and grandpa's. Lots of family was there, and Diana reports the boys put on quite a show.
We bought 3 books for the boys on Saturday. We went to Sita's performance, and went to a book store. Aida and Natasia watched the boys, until Natasia went with her father. Thank you to Aida for watching the boys. And Natasia too.
Tonight Gretchen is coming to visit. She's stopping by on her drive back home to Maine.
Then we went to Jones Beach. William was afraid of bugs, but there wen't any, and we had a grand time. The boys fell asleep on the drive home.
Daddy got to take a nap since it was father's day, but I woke up more tired. I went off to meet for study with my buddhist friends, and the boys went to grandma and grandpa's. Lots of family was there, and Diana reports the boys put on quite a show.
We bought 3 books for the boys on Saturday. We went to Sita's performance, and went to a book store. Aida and Natasia watched the boys, until Natasia went with her father. Thank you to Aida for watching the boys. And Natasia too.
Tonight Gretchen is coming to visit. She's stopping by on her drive back home to Maine.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Andrew with daddy's shoes
Went to the park twice today, played with all sorts of kids. I love this time of year. The boys want me to put on my shoes and take them to the park. Andrew likes to wear my shoes sometimes too. They love the attention of being cute.
William often shares well at the park. The other day he had a hard time giving up a Lightning McQueen. He and Andrew play power games, who gets what. But they can also share very nicely.
William often shares well at the park. The other day he had a hard time giving up a Lightning McQueen. He and Andrew play power games, who gets what. But they can also share very nicely.
Face paint William
We pointed out the turtle design on Andrew's shirt and William spontaneously said, "tortuga" which is Spanish for turtle. We were so proud of him.
smiles after a shower
Friday the boys took a shower with me with minimal strife. Andrew was smily after the shower.
Yesterday at the park, William said, "what your name?" to kids, spontaneously for the first time, to my knowledge. I liked that.
Yesterday at the park, William said, "what your name?" to kids, spontaneously for the first time, to my knowledge. I liked that.
W & A
Right after what would have been a really good photo, but my camera has a delay where you press the button, and it doesn't take a picture right away. Not bad anyway. What they wore last weekend to go to Frankie's party.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Monday, June 11, 2007
William
This slick dude is William before he went to Frankie's birthday party, yesterday, where he had a fun time, he reports.
Zane writes
Zane, William and Andrew's grandfather, writes haibun. He wrote this one, that includes the boys, and has been published, and he consents to it being reproduced now:
Needs by Zane Parks
My two-year-old grandson Sparky holds out his arms. I pick him up and he reaches for a nearby shelf.
"Ah, the desire to be held was a subterfuge," I say.
"Remember Maslow's
hierarchy of needs," my son says. "Maybe he really did want to be held.
Once that desire was satisfied, other possibilities opened up to him."
earthworm
she drops the twig
for nesting
Needs by Zane Parks
My two-year-old grandson Sparky holds out his arms. I pick him up and he reaches for a nearby shelf.
"Ah, the desire to be held was a subterfuge," I say.
"Remember Maslow's
hierarchy of needs," my son says. "Maybe he really did want to be held.
Once that desire was satisfied, other possibilities opened up to him."
earthworm
she drops the twig
for nesting
my mother writes
My mother wrote about the boys going to the zoo the other day, "you" being me, the father of William and Andrew:
Thanks for the newsy report on the children. The chidren sound absolutely adorable. I hope they had fun at the zoo. As you know, you disliked zoos as a child. You seemed to be upset about the animals in cages. You cried. We went to the zoo once when you were a child and you refused to go after that. You love going to the Carnegie Institute to see the dinosaur bones and other natural historical displays. We went to the museum almost every week, in part because was free. I was very poor so I had to find low-cost but educational ways to entertain you.
Thanks for the newsy report on the children. The chidren sound absolutely adorable. I hope they had fun at the zoo. As you know, you disliked zoos as a child. You seemed to be upset about the animals in cages. You cried. We went to the zoo once when you were a child and you refused to go after that. You love going to the Carnegie Institute to see the dinosaur bones and other natural historical displays. We went to the museum almost every week, in part because was free. I was very poor so I had to find low-cost but educational ways to entertain you.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
water balloons
Andrew has diarrhea. Harry gave William a battery powered James. He wouldn't let me put a battery in it until he was asleep.
I took them to the park. They walk around. William isn't afraid to go into the water now. I got some water balloons and we had some fun with that. Emma, AJ and Harry came over after. Then Natasia, Robyn and Aida. Diana went out to get a hair cut, and William fell asleep while watching Nemo. Andrew fell asleep too. I wouldn't let him sleep, but he's got diarrhea, and I don't want to refuse him fluids or rest.
When I came home from the Grand Canyon I weighted 231. William is 41.5. Andrew is 27. I was 145 in high school. 170 in college. I got down to 210 when I was running the marathon. Seems like a lot, I really should lose some weight. It's pretty hard, food is so comforting.
I was reading outside after my meditation and I heard the sickening thud of Andrew falling off the bed. He's got a little mark near the left side of his nostril, but otherwise he's OK.
Andrew's speech is variable. Sometimes he says a lot, and imitates what you say. Sometimes he's garbled, or is disinclined to talk. William is talking a lot, though sometimes he doesn't make sense. I'm pushing myself to be as verbal as I can be around them.
I took them to the park. They walk around. William isn't afraid to go into the water now. I got some water balloons and we had some fun with that. Emma, AJ and Harry came over after. Then Natasia, Robyn and Aida. Diana went out to get a hair cut, and William fell asleep while watching Nemo. Andrew fell asleep too. I wouldn't let him sleep, but he's got diarrhea, and I don't want to refuse him fluids or rest.
When I came home from the Grand Canyon I weighted 231. William is 41.5. Andrew is 27. I was 145 in high school. 170 in college. I got down to 210 when I was running the marathon. Seems like a lot, I really should lose some weight. It's pretty hard, food is so comforting.
I was reading outside after my meditation and I heard the sickening thud of Andrew falling off the bed. He's got a little mark near the left side of his nostril, but otherwise he's OK.
Andrew's speech is variable. Sometimes he says a lot, and imitates what you say. Sometimes he's garbled, or is disinclined to talk. William is talking a lot, though sometimes he doesn't make sense. I'm pushing myself to be as verbal as I can be around them.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Katie, Bart, Will and Josh
My four cousins who are in college. They are wearing their life preserves on the Colorado River in Marble Canyon in Grand Canyon National Park.
The Best Day Ever
The boys slept later this Tuesday morning. William to 8, Andrew to 8:30. Andrew is pissed off I take a shower and begin the routine of my leaving. They usually get up at 7.
Last night, Diana called the boys back into the bedroom to go to bed. William cocked his arm like he had a watch on it, looked at it like he had a watch, and then said, "got to go," and he left. That morning, I'd looked at my watch and said, "look at the time, Paquita is going to be here soon." I think more than what I say, it what I do. And that's terrible almost because having children has brought out the temper in me.
Last night William identified the wheels to the right truck in his truck book. That's the first time I've seen that. He changes so quickly, it's hard to capture.
Diana reports the boys fought over who's mommy she was. "My mommy!" they shouted at each other.
That night they cried when I wouldn't go in the opposite directions they were pulling me. Andrew has this cry when he hears "no". It breaks your heart.
Wednesday night we tried to watch Eragon, but they hopped about and didn't really watch it. William tried for 20 minutes. I got home and they were out with their Abuela at the park. When they came back, Diana and I screamed at them through the window to say hello. I hope they realized on the other side the feeling of being outside, while mommy and daddy were on the inside. When William came inside he was singing the Spongebob song "the best day every!
Nati slept over, and Abuelo, Abuela are taking them all to the zoo today.
Last night, Diana called the boys back into the bedroom to go to bed. William cocked his arm like he had a watch on it, looked at it like he had a watch, and then said, "got to go," and he left. That morning, I'd looked at my watch and said, "look at the time, Paquita is going to be here soon." I think more than what I say, it what I do. And that's terrible almost because having children has brought out the temper in me.
Last night William identified the wheels to the right truck in his truck book. That's the first time I've seen that. He changes so quickly, it's hard to capture.
Diana reports the boys fought over who's mommy she was. "My mommy!" they shouted at each other.
That night they cried when I wouldn't go in the opposite directions they were pulling me. Andrew has this cry when he hears "no". It breaks your heart.
Wednesday night we tried to watch Eragon, but they hopped about and didn't really watch it. William tried for 20 minutes. I got home and they were out with their Abuela at the park. When they came back, Diana and I screamed at them through the window to say hello. I hope they realized on the other side the feeling of being outside, while mommy and daddy were on the inside. When William came inside he was singing the Spongebob song "the best day every!
Nati slept over, and Abuelo, Abuela are taking them all to the zoo today.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Family on Grand Canyon Trip
This is the whole family on the Grand Canyon trip, with Celeste and Steve added in, not just the cousins. Will is being carried by Bart. I'm next, then Katie, Steve, Celeste and Josh with the football. It was a wonderful trip!
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Five Cousins
William and Andrew's father went on a rafting trip down the Colorado in Marble and Grand Canyon with his 4 cousins. I missed my boys, but I hope when they're older than 8, we do something similar. It was wonderful being with Will, Kate, Josh and Bart! Plus seeing aunts and uncles. I had an ache in the pit of my stomach about being away from my boys, from Diana, but it was a wonderful trip.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
such sweet sorrow
Why do I have to leave for a week to relish every second with the boys? Why is it on this morning that I don't mind not being able to wake up because Andrew woke up early? Why do I have more patience and flexibility? Why do I have a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach at leaving them? I'm off for a cousin's reunion that is also a boat trip down the Colorado in the Grand Canyon. Back next Wed. Call Diana to support her through this solo effort.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Another father's blog, and more
My friend Cliff pointed out this cool blog by a father, who father's a little girl.
That led me to another cool blog, of a gay man with a 4 year old! Cool!
A creative dad writes another blog. He's got the biggest list of father's blogs I've ever seen!
And a woman with Bipolar II, among other things, with 2 children.
Also a fellow in LA, and there's a collective Blogfathers.
Then there's Clair's Dad.
That led me to another cool blog, of a gay man with a 4 year old! Cool!
A creative dad writes another blog. He's got the biggest list of father's blogs I've ever seen!
And a woman with Bipolar II, among other things, with 2 children.
Also a fellow in LA, and there's a collective Blogfathers.
Then there's Clair's Dad.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Precious boys
Last Friday the boys were banging at the window when I came home. William sometimes is absorbed in the TV, but generally I get the most heart warming greeting when I come home. Andrew saw my car pull into the parking lot, and waited for me to come out. He recognizes the car.
William’s speech therapist is really impressed with his development. The other day he said, “I don’t know.” I thought that was great! Sometimes he gets lost, though. He was telling me he was going to apologize to mommy for making a mess and then went out there and apologized for “TV”. Opse. What happened there.
Andrew continues to say new words too, his articulation is better.
William fell asleep on the floor. One night I forgot to put him in his bed, and he slept the night on the floor. Opse. That’s on daddy, Diana told Virginia that story in horror the other day. These things happen. We try our best. At this moment I’m feeling more confident and in charge. Tolerating the ambivalence of not knowing what to do, being in the squishy place of new behaviors challenging me. I am really working on controlling myself, not flipping out, losing my cool. The boys see me as the monsters, and even today Andrew was saying “daddy” when the mean dinosaurs came onto the TV this morning. I want to be the wise octopus or the wise dinosaur, but they say that’s mommy. I wanted to get into a thing with William about how when he says he’s Thomas, we don’t give him a hard time, but I felt like it would be lost on him. I think it’s a challenge to be developmentally appropriate.
William’s speech therapist is really impressed with his development. The other day he said, “I don’t know.” I thought that was great! Sometimes he gets lost, though. He was telling me he was going to apologize to mommy for making a mess and then went out there and apologized for “TV”. Opse. What happened there.
Andrew continues to say new words too, his articulation is better.
William fell asleep on the floor. One night I forgot to put him in his bed, and he slept the night on the floor. Opse. That’s on daddy, Diana told Virginia that story in horror the other day. These things happen. We try our best. At this moment I’m feeling more confident and in charge. Tolerating the ambivalence of not knowing what to do, being in the squishy place of new behaviors challenging me. I am really working on controlling myself, not flipping out, losing my cool. The boys see me as the monsters, and even today Andrew was saying “daddy” when the mean dinosaurs came onto the TV this morning. I want to be the wise octopus or the wise dinosaur, but they say that’s mommy. I wanted to get into a thing with William about how when he says he’s Thomas, we don’t give him a hard time, but I felt like it would be lost on him. I think it’s a challenge to be developmentally appropriate.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Lucky
Andrew burnt his hand on the glass of the fire place at Virginia’s house (not a real log fire place, it’s gas) a while ago. Now he says, “Hot?!” I think meaning hot, but also danger. He’s not really gotten the hang of opposites. He says “down” for “up”. This morning he said “wet”. I have to listen closely, otherwise I wouldn’t have heard “wet”, and maybe I’m just inserting the closest word to make sense.
I’m reading a book on parenting written by a Buddhist called A Path for Parents by Sara Burns who’s ordained name is Karunagita. I suppose she has her own reasons for not using Karunagita, perhaps to appeal to a wider audience, she hope it’s read beyond Buddhists.
Seems like a good book so far. I haven’t read any Buddhist parenting books yet, I wanted my first to be a FWBO book. Now I’m ready for the other books on Buddhism. There are 3 others I find on line, and I’m sure there are more. Amazon has a way of hiding some books. I’ve typed in close but not exactly a title, and not even gotten the book on the list, when obviously it should have been somewhere on the list. It definitely slants towards more popular books, bigger selling books.
The past two nights I’ve gotten home late. Tuesday is sangha (spiritual community) night. I helped Sita take Savanna’s cast off futon frame up to her place. So I got home very late, and the boys were still up. Wednesday was my birthday and I got tickets to Moon for Misbegotten (which was amazing by the way, I didn’t think the reviews were kind enough). The boys were already asleep when we got home. Thank you to Aida, Natasia, Virginia and Tim for your support in watching the boys. Thank you to all those who called me, sent cards, sent text messages, sent gifts on my birthday. I feel very lucky, blessed, and grateful.
When my boys woke up this morning, I felt very lucky to see their darling faces. William woke up first. He asked to see Rainbow Fish, which is one of my favorite videos that we inherited from Abuela and Natasia. He was very cuddly, sweet. He pinches your arms and ear lobes. Then Andrew woke up. He’s a cutie pie, with much sweetness. Soon enough they were fighting over puzzles (I think they’re going to be visually smart like their mother and father) and which room I’m in. Andrew likes the bedroom and William likes the living room. All too quickly it was time to take a shower and reliable, smart and dedicated Paquita was there. The amount of people that go into our lives, that support the family is truly amazing. The boys are precious. I’ve begun to get a knot in my stomach about leaving on Wednesday for a family reunion in the Grand Canyon.
I’m reading a book on parenting written by a Buddhist called A Path for Parents by Sara Burns who’s ordained name is Karunagita. I suppose she has her own reasons for not using Karunagita, perhaps to appeal to a wider audience, she hope it’s read beyond Buddhists.
Seems like a good book so far. I haven’t read any Buddhist parenting books yet, I wanted my first to be a FWBO book. Now I’m ready for the other books on Buddhism. There are 3 others I find on line, and I’m sure there are more. Amazon has a way of hiding some books. I’ve typed in close but not exactly a title, and not even gotten the book on the list, when obviously it should have been somewhere on the list. It definitely slants towards more popular books, bigger selling books.
The past two nights I’ve gotten home late. Tuesday is sangha (spiritual community) night. I helped Sita take Savanna’s cast off futon frame up to her place. So I got home very late, and the boys were still up. Wednesday was my birthday and I got tickets to Moon for Misbegotten (which was amazing by the way, I didn’t think the reviews were kind enough). The boys were already asleep when we got home. Thank you to Aida, Natasia, Virginia and Tim for your support in watching the boys. Thank you to all those who called me, sent cards, sent text messages, sent gifts on my birthday. I feel very lucky, blessed, and grateful.
When my boys woke up this morning, I felt very lucky to see their darling faces. William woke up first. He asked to see Rainbow Fish, which is one of my favorite videos that we inherited from Abuela and Natasia. He was very cuddly, sweet. He pinches your arms and ear lobes. Then Andrew woke up. He’s a cutie pie, with much sweetness. Soon enough they were fighting over puzzles (I think they’re going to be visually smart like their mother and father) and which room I’m in. Andrew likes the bedroom and William likes the living room. All too quickly it was time to take a shower and reliable, smart and dedicated Paquita was there. The amount of people that go into our lives, that support the family is truly amazing. The boys are precious. I’ve begun to get a knot in my stomach about leaving on Wednesday for a family reunion in the Grand Canyon.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Monday, May 14, 2007
Internecine
Internecine is how William and Andrew relate to each other at times. They ventilate their anger towards mother or father or world (mother and father at this point), at each other at times to the mutual detriment of each other.
When we get home, there’s a period of feelings of overwhelmedness as anger, relief, excitement well up in them. At times that have tantrums about their unrealistic expectations of mother and father.
All children suffer from their expectations being crushed. Andrew wants daddy and mommy never to go to the bathroom, to close the door, to have needs beyond him. But he does recover quickly. He speaks up and has learned how to hit back. He makes people pay attention to him. He’s the younger brother and I think he’s overlooked sometimes because of his lack of language.
William has already developed an aggrieved distortion where he assumes he can’t get what he wants, before he’s denied it.
William takes a leadership role, but he’s not really nuanced enough to completely comprehend and doesn’t have all the tools of persuasion yet. He does nod his head “yes” which is a technique I read somewhere. The more you nod the more likely people will be in agreement, regardless of the content, but it’s not magic.
The boys can be doughty (\DOW-tee\, adjective, marked by fearless resolution; valiant; brave). I find myself promoting the “I think I can” attitude at time. I like the teaching aspect of parenting, though I get confused about what to teach beyond what is obvious to me in the moment, at times.
When we get home, there’s a period of feelings of overwhelmedness as anger, relief, excitement well up in them. At times that have tantrums about their unrealistic expectations of mother and father.
All children suffer from their expectations being crushed. Andrew wants daddy and mommy never to go to the bathroom, to close the door, to have needs beyond him. But he does recover quickly. He speaks up and has learned how to hit back. He makes people pay attention to him. He’s the younger brother and I think he’s overlooked sometimes because of his lack of language.
William has already developed an aggrieved distortion where he assumes he can’t get what he wants, before he’s denied it.
William takes a leadership role, but he’s not really nuanced enough to completely comprehend and doesn’t have all the tools of persuasion yet. He does nod his head “yes” which is a technique I read somewhere. The more you nod the more likely people will be in agreement, regardless of the content, but it’s not magic.
The boys can be doughty (\DOW-tee\, adjective, marked by fearless resolution; valiant; brave). I find myself promoting the “I think I can” attitude at time. I like the teaching aspect of parenting, though I get confused about what to teach beyond what is obvious to me in the moment, at times.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Vleigh Park
I took the boys to the park last night. Diana said there were some mean kids the other day, but there was a nice Romania-American boy who played with his trains. Later William was kind to a little 9 month year old Israeli-American girl, giving her his coveted Thomas The Tank Engine train to play with. I love the diversity of our park.
Andrew had a doctor's appointment. He's growing well, he got two shots. They couldn't tell if they did an eye test wrong or not, but they referred him to an ophthalmologist.
There's a touching story of a NBA basketball player putting his daughter first in the New York Times.
Andrew had a doctor's appointment. He's growing well, he got two shots. They couldn't tell if they did an eye test wrong or not, but they referred him to an ophthalmologist.
There's a touching story of a NBA basketball player putting his daughter first in the New York Times.
Monday, May 07, 2007
iam
Andrew calls William "iam" the last bit of his name, /eeam/. It's very cute. They went to Seth's birthday party and Brian's christening yesterday. Diana sent me a photo of some good that took a shine to William and visa versa. I was off meditating, chanting and talking the dharma. I yearn to have more of that, but when I'm away from the boys, I yearn to be with them.
William has been into the movie Balto. Balto is a half breed, and he is bothered by Steele the lead dog. Slurs and jokes are made about his parentage. But in the end, he uses his identity as part wolf to get the antitoxin to save the little girl, and win the heart of Jenna. In a way it's a tale about minority status with racial slurs and prejudice, which is ironic in the wildnerness instead of an urban setting, though maybe not.
He also likes Tarzan which is similar but different. Tarzan is raised by gorillas but when humans come and he realizes he's a human, he betrays the gorillas to let his new love Jane meet them. Greed and avaraice play a part in other's trying to exploit the situation and Clayton is the evil man who tries to kidnap gorillas. Similar but a more complex twisting ending, than Balto which is more clearly black and white.
The minute I suggested to Diana that William wouldn't learn to clean up until he was potty trained, he began to learn to clean up his lego. We make it one thing out at a time, excluding trains and cars, though those sometimes have to be corralled. He's got some wooden tracks, some plastic tracks and lego, and they have to be cleaned up to get to the next one. William said, "put the tracks over there." He's got creative solutions when he wants it, but the rule is put one away before you get out the other one.
School has begun to captivate William's imagination. I don't know if he knows what September is, but that's when he's going.
The boys fight. It disturbs me, but I'm beginning to see it more as my problem. Of course we put them in time out and separate them, intervene some times, but sometimes let it go in the hopes that they will work it out. Neither course is yielding immediate results. It disturbs me. The hit, push, throw things. Very disturbing, but I'm afriad normal. I feel impatient in getting them to stop. I have not succeeded yet, and I think it's not abnormal. We'll keep working on it.
William has been into the movie Balto. Balto is a half breed, and he is bothered by Steele the lead dog. Slurs and jokes are made about his parentage. But in the end, he uses his identity as part wolf to get the antitoxin to save the little girl, and win the heart of Jenna. In a way it's a tale about minority status with racial slurs and prejudice, which is ironic in the wildnerness instead of an urban setting, though maybe not.
He also likes Tarzan which is similar but different. Tarzan is raised by gorillas but when humans come and he realizes he's a human, he betrays the gorillas to let his new love Jane meet them. Greed and avaraice play a part in other's trying to exploit the situation and Clayton is the evil man who tries to kidnap gorillas. Similar but a more complex twisting ending, than Balto which is more clearly black and white.
The minute I suggested to Diana that William wouldn't learn to clean up until he was potty trained, he began to learn to clean up his lego. We make it one thing out at a time, excluding trains and cars, though those sometimes have to be corralled. He's got some wooden tracks, some plastic tracks and lego, and they have to be cleaned up to get to the next one. William said, "put the tracks over there." He's got creative solutions when he wants it, but the rule is put one away before you get out the other one.
School has begun to captivate William's imagination. I don't know if he knows what September is, but that's when he's going.
The boys fight. It disturbs me, but I'm beginning to see it more as my problem. Of course we put them in time out and separate them, intervene some times, but sometimes let it go in the hopes that they will work it out. Neither course is yielding immediate results. It disturbs me. The hit, push, throw things. Very disturbing, but I'm afriad normal. I feel impatient in getting them to stop. I have not succeeded yet, and I think it's not abnormal. We'll keep working on it.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
comercial free
There's a campaign for a commercial free childhood. I like the idea, but it's too late for my children. I work to contain. William dearly loves the TV and while I worry about that, he's also vital and alive, and he's taken us turning off the TV better. We initially tried to get him into it to give us a break, but it grew into a monster. Andrew is not so much into the TV, which I actually like. He's always pulling me into his bedroom. I love my 7-9am time with the boys.
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