427. No swimming

William went to the park with Mia on Saturday. Daniella has a nice apartment, I went up to get Mia. I was surprised that she hadn't given birth yet, she's been 4 cm dilated for the longest time. Now she's 5. They're not going to induce her until a week from Monday if she doesn't have the baby. I wanted to give her a break from Mia, and William likes her. Mia can be a little rough at times, but I think she's grand. They played at the park on the big swings for a while. The slides are fun, Mia likes to go down backwards on her back. They were throwing acorns down the slide. A fellow came along to join them, and they were yelling "NO!" to him. I made them include him and be nice to him. The little boy didn't speak, and his grandmother only spoke Russian to him. Mia kept saying "coconuts" and it took me a while to figure out she meant "acorns".

Then she had to go to the bathroom, so we went home. Daniella called me just as we got there, she wanted Mia back to go visit relatives. She promised to join up with us for a party that night. There was a kid's party for 4pm. Diana didn't go till after 7. Before that they went to Jamaica to go shopping, with Aida and Natasia. They came back briefly and then went out.

Paul came over and we watched the Mets. Around the 6th inning my eye lids were drooping, and Paul mercifully took my leave. He worries he's getting in the way by coming over. I worry guests won't like to visit because of my divided attention, and my inability to keep awake past 10.

Diana reports William really like the aquarium the little girl had. They also took him to Janet's 41st birthday party, but they fell asleep in the car, and ended up sleeping on the bed with all the other kids who were there past their bedtimes.

Sunday they slept past 9, and that meant with Saturday, I'd had a lot of free time to read this weekend. We went to swimming lessons, but it's closed this weekend and next--opse. So we went to Target. William got a replacement James, plus Iron 'Arry and Iron Bert, Thomas, Alfie, Mavis and Jack, plus with a DVD he got a ice Percy and the Winter Caboose. He's very happy with these additions, and tries to horde them from Andrew, who gives them back quite readily, but also throws them.

We lost William temporarily when I had Andrew and assumed Diana would take William. She assumed the same about me. He had a toy shopping cart, which he was pushing all over, and when we found him he was fine, he was just pushing the cart around. Diana was pretty upset we lost him. The idea that someone could kidnap him flashed through my mind, but you know, that's pretty rare, and once we found him I was more embarrassed that he'd gotten away, than worried. Andrew doesn't want anything, he didn't pick out any toys. I feel bad everything is for William but in Andrew's mind, I think everything is his, so we're all right for now.

We came home, and the boys fell asleep. I laid down and Diana went to a movie. I thought she was just going for a movie, but she was gone for a while. Turns out the movie she went for, she missed, and went other places. She's certainly entitled to time away from the boys, but I wish she'd communicate to help me with my expectations. I've got to focus on my communication and efforts. So the boys rampaged around the apartment till Diana got home, and then I went to bed. William tried to go to sleep with me, but gave up. Diana has today off, but I have to work. A nice weekend. I'm away next weekend on retreat. I'm going to miss the family.

426. One Year Doctor's Appointment

Andrew had his year doctor's appointment. He weighs 23.5 lbs. I couldn't find in the blog where William was weighed at 1. It should be April 2005, but I don't see it in a couple tries. Of course I can't really sit at the computer any more. The doctor gave him 3 shots. He says he's lactose intolerant or whatever, and we should switch him to soy milk from the formula, which will be considerably cheaper. I'm kind of glad he's not going to take bovine source milk. I myself like soy milk. The doctor said he's not going to have trouble with the shots, but he was a bit clingy the past few days.

It's been a stressful week. When I loose it a little and raise my voice in frustration, I just think, "they're internalizing the bad object." Yeesh. Grunty, Grunticus, Terradactyl is a bit of a babyzilla. He smashes plates of food, he grabs books out of our hands, he climbs over my body using his tough little toes to get painful toe holds.

William struggles with it, too. He tries to put his Thomas trains places where Grunty can't get, but Grunty is a plucky tough little thing, he can get everywhere. We often find him precariously in the window sill in his room, not the one with the soft couch to fall on.

Tuesday, Zane's last day, we spent a long time in the park. Mia was there, and Daniella, who began to get severe contractions. She called her mother, but later when I saw her, she was back from the hospital.

Paquita is doing a good job, or "Kita" as William calls her.

Thursday night, my night with the boys with Diana in class till late, I played the boys a lot of music. Grant Green, Kind of Blue by Miles Davis, some hip hop and some Alison Krauss.

Last weekend I saw some leaves changing color. Grunty's birthday was officially autumn.

425. Andres turned one

Andrew turned one on Saturday! The family had a big party to celebrate at Virginia and Tim's in New Jersey. In attendance were Abuela and Abuelo, Aida, Robyn, Natasia, Harry, Angie, AJ, Emma, Jose Antonio and wife and newborn daughter Arianna, Jessica, Jacky, Zolt, Nicole, Christian, Josephine, Ava, her sister, and her daughter Jillian. Poor Diana who is overwhelmed with motherhood, work, marriage, didn't get the invitations into the mail--they sat in her backpack until it was too late, so it was just family, but that was more than enough. The party is a family event in a way. There was cake, and a pinata. Abuela cooked perniel. Thank you to everyone who helped out and attended.

Zane came the Thrusday before. He's been a huge help, he's totally focused on the boys, you can tell how much he loves them. Pauquita still came Thursday and Friday, I didn't want him to be overloaded. He got to see the speech therapist at work with William. And Paquita came with us to the aquarium, we needed her help.

Monday we went to the aquarium, and then William dipped his feet in the Atlantic ocean for the first time at Coney Island. Andrew and William wanted me to carry them, making Paquita and Zane helpless to help me with their demands. They actually helped a lot. Andrew didn't like the loud public address system in the sea lion show, so I walked him around. We had lunch there, and toured all the exhibits. I have a great picture of William running away from a sea lion because he was scared. Andrew fell asleep, and I took William down to the water at the beach.

Zane leaves today.

424. Long Time No Write

It's been overwhelming with Diana going back to work, hard to write. Andrew has gotten his 5th and 6th tooth, and a skin rash. William and Andrew had their first swimming lesson today. Monday Paquita comes to take care of William and Andrew, the era of Paquita begins.

I enjoy Thursday nights with the boys. Diana has class Tuesday and Thursday. Aida is going to watch the boys Tuesday so I can go to sangha night.

Last Sunday was Harry and Angie's wedding. William was dancing with Delilah. I went home after 4 hours because I had stomach trouble. It was a lovely wedding, even though Harry left Aida and Natasia about 9 years ago to be with Angie, I see that as water under the bridge. Harry and Angie have 2 children together, and AJ is one of William's favorites. I think it's better to get married, and then have children. I think that works best, but I realize that the world is imperfect, things often don't go off in the best way.

423. Diversity and Limits

I love the diversity of our neighborhood. At the park today, we were closer to the Jewish section of Main Street Flushing, so there were some Jewish kids, which is quite a diverse thing in itself, from the religious orthodox Jews of Europe or the Middle East. But there was also a woman with a French accent, and an Asian man. The other day in Vliegh Park there was a Muslim woman with the complete hidden body thing, with only the eye slits. There was also a white woman with an indeterminate European accent with mulatto children. Many Indian (not Native American) and Hispanic and WASPs like me. Many varieties of traditional cultures from all over the world, and less traditional people like me, who love it all but can't really cling to my own culture. I have found a different religion, have merged with a different culture. I love the diversity of New York City. I find it really vibrant and alive. I know some people feel best when there's a tight community of similar values. I'm sure I would love that, but where am I going to find a Wasp/European/Hispanic hybrid Buddhist community? I want diversity and tolerance of difference. Not idiot tolerance, not unlimited permissivism. I still wish ethical, family oriented, and tending towards high culture instead of monster truck rallies, but I have room for that too. I like the racially mixed couple upstairs, the Hispanic woman with the Catholic white man upstairs, the Philippine families. It is a rich and hearty broth.

William got one time out for marginally provoking, and not diffusing a conflict with a little girl. William has gotten into a few shouting matches with other little kids. Also no pushing. I remember Wes saying on our week long visit, "ah he finally said no to William." William is getting a lot of no's, I want him to get some yeses too. Andrew gets no's too, about climbing into the window sill in his room, about climbing up onto the computer chair. I do believe in limits and teaching children to be civilized and easily integrated into the group without causing lots of troubles.

422. Thomas The Tank Engine

When I first saw Thomas The Tank Engine, I thought it was weird, preposterous. As the Wikipedia article mentions, it has subanthropomorphism.

But a few thousand hours later of DVD and video watching, I've found the tales to be quite good. And when William gets a fad, he gets a fad, there's not stopping him. Here are some of his favorite web sites:

Official Site

Riley and Drew's Site

Drew's site

421. Back to work

Diana went to work a little while on Monday and back to work full time on Thursday. The boys have a cold, and so they're whiney and winge, but they have a kind of unnamable discontent with their mother away. William is more conscious of it, and he sees Abuela as the absence of his parents. Andrew enjoys playing with Abuela, and does not seem to be as traumatized by it. Aunt Di visited this week too, with her kindness and goodwill.

420. Chop chop

Aida, the godmother, called Andrew, "An-drool". He's got his 4th tooth coming in. Aida taught William to say, "chop chop," meaning hurry up. He also says, "nope," instead of "no" sometimes.

They took the boys to the Putnum County Fair. Virginia drove, Aida and Diana. Robyn and Natasia joined them.

Over the weekend I came to the realization that William is not always guilty when Andrew is crying and Andrew can be demanding, a babyzilla at times, and William is just trying to defend his space.

Sunday they went to Chucky Cheese to celebrate Joseph's birthday. Diana reports that William was very good at sharing.

We got William to go to bed at 8, but he got up at 6:30, so I think the optimal amount of sleep for him is 10.5 hours.

I took William to the park on Monday. I feel the seasons changing, it's darker and it's getting cooler. It was hard to say goodbye for work Monday morning after 9 days with the boys. I felt refreshed at work. Spending time with the family is very important to me.

Saturday morning William said, "bus" in his sleep. I read in some weekly news magazine an article about dreams, and it asserted that children don't dream like adults until they are 7. I'm not sure if that's true. William seems to dream.

William also gets time out. He's learning the lessons no hitting, not pushing and no throwing (we'll work on the exceptions to that later).

Aida and Natasia slept over, and the boys slept till 9 and 9;30.Aida, the godmother, called Andrew, "An-drool". He's got his 4th tooth coming in. Aida taught William to say, "chop chop," meaning hurry up. He also says, "nope," instead of "no" sometimes.

They took the boys to the Putnum County Fair. Virginia drove, Aida and Diana. Robyn and Natasia joined them.

Over the weekend I came to the realization that William is not always guilty when Andrew is crying and Andrew can be demanding, a babyzilla at times, and William is just trying to defend his space.

Sunday they went to Chucky Cheese to celebrate Joseph's birthday. Diana reports that William was very good at sharing.

We got William to go to bed at 8, but he got up at 6:30, so I think the optimal amount of sleep for him is 10.5 hours.

I took William to the park on Monday. I feel the seasons changing, it's darker and it's getting cooler. It was hard to say goodbye for work Monday morning after 9 days with the boys. I felt refreshed at work. Spending time with the family is very important to me.

Saturday morning William said, "bus" in his sleep. I read in some weekly news magazine an article about dreams, and it asserted that children don't dream like adults until they are 7. I'm not sure if that's true. William seems to dream.

William also gets time out. He's learning the lessons no hitting, not pushing and no throwing (we'll work on the exceptions to that later).

Aida and Natasia slept over, and the boys slept till 9 and 9;30.

419. Mia

Mia came over for the first time with her mother. Mia is Daniella's daughter, one of our neighbors. She's Argentinean and her husband is Israeli. Mia turned 3 the other day, so she's got an 8 month lead on William. They played and fought. When Mia was upset she said, "I don't love you any more." William was just as hot and cold as she was, but they ended amicably, saying goodbye to each other. Mia was potty trained around 2 because her mother had floor that wasn't a carpet, and she just let her figure it out. She still has accidents though, and she's regressed some her mother reports because of the impending birth of David, who is due around Andrew's first birthday. I'd wanted to go to Harriman, but Diana wasn't into it, and after the visit they said it was too late. Diana, William, Andrew, Aida and Natasia went shopping and they didn't get home till late.

418. Bronx Zoo

Bronx Zoo is here.

The zoo was marvelous. I enjoyed the gorilla, the tigers, the nocturnal building, the whole thing. The children's zoo allowed you to pet and feed some of the animals. I think William enjoyed it.

417. Staten Island Children's Museum

We live in Kew Garden Hills. There's a museum in Staten Island for children. Here is our route.

Turns out the museum is part of the Snug Harbor Cultural Center. We had some difficulty locating the right place, but once we got close we could see some children's type play equipment.

The museum was good. There was walk in clay workshop, an insect exhibit, dog exhibit, a fire engine with little outfits you could put on, and an adventurer exhibit. We played outside in the boat park. It was a good day.

416. Flushing

I took William to the park, and then later to Flushing. We went to the library and got some DVDs and some books. DVDs: Winnie The Pooh, and DVDs of some of the books he has. Books: one on Charlie Parker, some Dr. Seus, and a subway mouse book, plus a baby faces book for Andrew. He was rambling around, I was trying to pick out books, and then I got a phone call from Diana and then a guard was telling me that I couldn't use the phone in the library. In the line to check out books and DVDs, I couldn't control William, and he was running all around. He met a little fellow who he began to run around with and they were OK until they went too far afield, and they almost went outside. The mother of the little boy shrieked and got her son, and William followed. When we left William said bye bye. Then we went for a walk around interesting Flushing. William got tired, we took the bus home, and he fell asleep in my arms, and I had to lug him home. He slept for a few hours, and I got to read. When Diana came home, with Andrew, I left for my Dharma group. Aida and Natasia came over.

415. Diana's day out

Diana left around 9:30 a.m. and came home around 8:30 p.m. It was an exciting day mostly alone with my boys. I have fear about being alone with them, there's nothing like the safety net of another person. It helps so you can do things, like blog. The boys loved my absolute attention, I didn't do anything for myself, except go to the bathroom, and eat. And I suppose I had a few private thoughts.

Instead of TV, I turned on Baroque music. Some professor at St. John's who come to my former school reported that Baroque music has a beat that is conducive to studying, but that the Mozart effect is bogus. Anyway, I didn't want TV and the music helps. In the end I turn on the TV out of exhaustion, but I resist it.

William played with lego, and the letter foam flooring Cliff and Vava got him. He plays with his cars and the straight race car track I got him. They wrestle a little bit. William can be a little rough, and I think Andrew will start to cry, but he laughs. That's the guide, the sounds of Andrew. I went into a kind of manic mode, and I was cleaning and organizing and doing the dishes. That kind of energy is not sustainable, but I'm doing it one day. I've recently been experimenting with leaving nothing in the tank, and seeing if I can function the next day. I usually can.

Shani came, she's the speech therapist. The took William into the room even though he didn't want to leave me. I had some good time with Andrew. I can see how this really helps the family.

Then after a while, William was begging me for a Thomas The Tank Engine DVD. I really like that show, it's pretty good, I think it inculcates good values. I like to figure out if I can identify the different engines. I find the language. "He caused confusion and delay," that being the worst that happens.

And one point, William said, "park". So I said, "when you clean up the lego." He cleaned for a second and then got distracted by the TV. Then he remembered, and cleaned up. He did a good job. So we went to the park, but not before we went to the post office and got some lovely books my mother sent for William and Andrew. At the park it was hard because I was more strict with William leaving the park. He likes to go where he wants to go, but with Andrew there, I need him to stay in the park. Andrew was having fun running in the big puddle, and even going into the fountain. William wanted me to get him the "juice" that another kid had, but I wouldn't. He hung out a little with a kind of family and even shared his Thomas The Tank Engine wooden toy, and he also has a Scooby Doo Mystery Machine van, matchbox car. These are his two constant companions. He wouldn't even put them down to climb. We got into the routine of putting the cars into the stroller so he can climb, but he's gone back to resisting that. I guess I need to get a little strict about that. William found a cute little curly haired girl who talked and made him laugh, and we went on the swings together. Then as soon as it happened, William walked away. He wanted to leave the park again, and cried on the cement. He was upset but I had 2 boys, and we needed to stay together. We went down onto the ball field. William wanted to go across it, and so I ran off and got the stroller quickly. Some muslim women went over when they were alone for a second, one picked up Andrew and handed him to me.

While we were waiting for Chinese food I went to the dollar store and got them some inexpensive trucks, and a tractor. It was hard to keep them quiet while we waited for the food upon our return, but we got out of there, back home, and ate some. Soon the boys were tired, and William fell asleep. Andrew had just fallen asleep when Diana came home. Whew! What a day.

414. Natasia is 9

Great Aunt Maggie passed away last Friday. She is grandma Parks' sister. My father, Zane, was very much attached to her, as well as my grandmother. William and Andrew never got to meet her, but I did, and I thought she was lovely. She had a straight talking way about her, she called a spade a spade. She wasn't stuffy or had pretense, she had what I call a cut through the nonsense kind of attitude that I find quite refreshing. She had a certain kind of clarity which is all too rare.

Last night we had Natasia's birthday party. This early August event is the highlight of our summer, with the collection of family and friends to celebrate this most precious birth. Natasia is a bright, beautiful wonderful 9 year old girl. She helps us out a lot. We have a special connection with her because when Harry left Aida, she moved in with us, and we lived with her for a while. I learned many important lessons about children from Natasia that helps me with my own two precious sons. And I am still learning.

Diana cried because I got William and myself a buzz cut, a very short, close to the head hair cut. They will grow back soon, but the short hair really upsets her. Vava pointed out that I have a short memory, I should have anticipated this, but it's not that easy for me. I got William a hair cut that wasn't a buzz cut, and she was equally upset. I'm not sure what kind of hair cut she expects. She was even more mad that I got a short hair cut.

The party was well attended, and Will and Drew fell asleep right as they were cutting the cake. They woke up during the hullaballoo of the two pinata. Daniella and her daughter Mia were there. Her son David is in her belly and should be coming out within a month. She's a full of life woman from Argentina, and her husband is Israeli. Cliff and Vava came. They said when they handed Natasia her present she mechanically went to the window and added it to the pile of presents she had. Josephine, Michael, Evan and Ava came. I mispronounce Ava's name, I pronounced it /Aiva/. Vava pointed out my mistake, Josephine and Michael thought I was doing it on purpose, so they never corrected me. Tim came late because of work. Bill came late. The party was supposed to start at 1, but it didn't really start until 4. It was nice to see Robyn, Evelyn, and David and Jessica. Much of Aida's family was there, those strong boys. The boys woke up, and I took William home, as I was exhausted.

In the morning before the party, I took William to get my car from Vajramati, whom I lent it to. The car had developed problems, and I barely got it home, it was quite tense, mostly because I didn't want to be on the side of the road with William. It needs a new water pump and some hoses, an oil change, and hopefully not more work, we'll find out today.

413. Mets

I took Diana, William, Andrew, Natasia, Cliff and Vava to the Mets game last night, with the home. This was William's second game, and he seemed to take more and more in. This was Andrew's first game. He was attracted by the lights, the noise, and his insatiable desire to move. This was Natasia's second game, I thought I heard her say. She seemed to have fun. This was Cliff's second game, first of adulthood. He joked it was his patriotic duty. He focused on the hotdogs and beer, which he greatly enjoyed. I enjoyed seeing Piazza, the great Mets catcher, hit two home runs, and yet the Mets still winning. The first homer was an opposite field shot. One shot was to the warning track, but our hundred million dollar man tracked it down. Cliff was amazed at the salaries the players make. I showed my kids off to some in the home and helped out a little bit. I gave someone their glasses they forgot. I hope everyone had a good time, I know I did. I got some good pictures I'll be sharing on snapfish with those I usually share it with. Cliff suggested I get photos for my blog, but I don't know when I'll have time to figure that out. Maybe on my week off. I have off from Friday at 5 p.m. August 11th, to Monday morning at 9a.m. August 21st. I'm looking forward to that!

412. Will and Bart Visit

Bart and Will came over last night. We had some Chinese food and talked. Will had a kind of sumer internship in Alaska doing archaeological stuff. Bart was scooping ice creme until he got an internship at some agency that hooks the elderly up with home help. They seemed well. They go off for their second year of college soon.

Then we entered the fray of 7 children (Andrew, William, Emma, Mateo, Jaquan, AJ, Venus). I wasn't awake when Aida and Natasia came, that takes us up to 8 children. The other day Alex called, and laughingly said, "how do you like 8 children in your house?" Of course I'm overwhelmed. I go to bed early. But I also think Andrew and William are enriched by being with others. As I am. We put in a Backyardigans CD and some of the kids danced. I'm greatful Will and Bart treked all the way out here. It means a lot to me.

And then the next day, when the neighbor brought over Junior, there were 9! Diana sure likes children.

411. Happy

I woke up exhausted, even though I'd slept in to 6:40. Andrew woke up at 7, and went back to sleep and woke up again later. William and Diana were still sleeping and he kept going into the room to wake them up, so I took him for a walk outside. He was interested in a little boy behind us, so I stopped so he could look. The woman quizzed me about his age, and said her son was 9 months. She said he looked tired. When I came home, William wanted to go out. So I rested a little, and then took him out to the park. Aminta, Steven and his Abuela were there. Steven lent William some paper and pencil and made a plane, and chased him around. Aminta shared their water with William. Aminta thinks he said his name. William, despite our many efforts, does not say his name. While William was playing in the sand a fly bit him, and he was upset. So we headed out. He likes to swing by the corner where a bunch of cars are, so we went two blocks out of the way home. Walking home, he said, "pizza" and dragged me to the place that Cliff says has the worst pizza he ever tasted. It's so nice to have a friend who lives near by and likes to hang out with children, who is flexible and understands my circumstances. I'm greedy, I don't want him to move away, even though I'm sure he will. So we got a small pizza, and came home. Andrew was still asleep and we watched some of Charlotte's Web, with it's vegetarian subtext. I got to be rather drowsy after Andrew woke up, and Diana said, "go lay down." I slept for 3 hours and had a Buddhist retreat dream. When I came out, William was saying, "shoes," which means, lets put them on and go out. So we did. We went to the park again. He came to like a Jewish woman with 4 children, and followed her around. The ice creme trunk came, and William got a vanilla cone. I would occasionally lick up the melting part so it didn't drip so much, and wipe off his mouth. We played with the water fountains, and William walked across the ball fields. I half protect him and look out for flying balls, and half try to steer him away from danger. As I nudge him off the playing field he says, "hey," in an aggrieved tone. So we got some sesame noodles at King Wok, and came home the long way, exploring every nook and cranny to run his cars and trains along, he goes up the cement stairs that lead to nowhere and various excursions. When we got home, Andrew was glad to see me, and raises his arms and demands to be picked up. I watched Bill Moyers Faith and Reason, with Pema Chodron. I got some pictures of him standing next to her face on the TV. I'm not sure why I like taking photos of him next to the rupa or in this case Pema, but I do. I suppose it's the same reason my grandparents had a photo where William has his hands together in a kind of prayer. It's a kind of hopeful for shadowing. Buddhism works for me, but I hope to respect what my children decide is for them, what works best for them. I would like to expose them to some teachings, but in no way am I interested in brain washing them or indoctrinating them. I suppose my vision of the world guides me, and I can't but help to pass that along. William and Andrew took a bath, and William is all toweled off, and say, "happy."

410. A night out

Diana and I celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary with the help of Virginia who came over and watched our precious boys. We had a lovely dinner, and went to a movie, my second at the movie theaters since William was born. I think my first since Andrew was born. It's so good to be with my wife, alone. It was a precious evening.

The boys had not napped before we left, so they went for a walk and fell asleep. I called while we were about to watch the movie. But when we got home their bedroom light was on, so that meant they were both up.

William likes to go to bed when I do now, or at least try and if he doesn't fall asleep fast, then he just goes out into the living room with Diana. Soon we're going to begin to try and shape a sleeping patter that will be complementary to Diana going back to work soon. She's already getting anxious about it.

Friday we met Cliff and Vava at the Vleigh Park. They are very kind to hang out with us. We got some Chinese food, and came home. The boys fell asleep and we watched what turned out to be a very interesting movie for me, K-Pac.

Today is AJ's birthday party, it might even be his birthday. Happy Birthday AJ. William often says, apropos of nothing, "AJ and Emma."

Friday morning William woke up early. Thursday morning Andrew woke up early. It's like they're taking turns. I feel their need for me, their desire to be around me, and I am greatly touched by it. I must be there for them.

409. Diana's Day Care

The boys are growing up fast. If you cling to it, it slips from your grasp, for they are constantly changing. Grunty got an upper tooth. He and Joyti run around, chasing each other, and laugh and laugh. They wrestle with each other, and you have to be careful so that William doesn't crush Shantikara, the peace maker. Andrew come to the bed now and raises his harms and grunts so that I pick him up. He loved my bed table, and likes to mess it up, grab the lamp. William has come to be manipulative and willful. He will eat crap all evening if we let him. He will watch his DVDs all day if we let him. Diana baby sit two of Aida's nephews, and yesterday Diana baby sat one of the neighbor children. It's a regular child care center here. I went to bed early Tuesday night because the virus that began with Diana and went through the family hit me. I'm on the rebound, though the nose can be snot filled at times, and everyone still is prone to coughing fits. Diana didn't charge Aida's sister. I'm not sure she'll charge the neighbor. Turns out we're going to Harry and Angie's wedding, they invited all of us, William and Andrew included, so we're going. Lots of silly family politics and whatnot. I hope we're in harmony now.

408. Colds

William and Andrew have a cold, Diana seems to have come down with something too. She started it. I'm sure I'll be getting it too, and then we're going to be in trouble.

The boys are OK though. William whispers to me, and then when I say, "are you telling me a secret?" he says, "Secret" in a whisper.

Andrew has graduated from drunken sailor walking, to tipsy sailor.

Sunday we went to the doctor, it's the first time I've seen their second doctor. He seemed a little brusk to me, but Diana said not more than the lesser of the two he used to see. The strep culture was negative, they have something viral, which I think means it's just a cold.

Cliff met us at the park, and we hung out some. He came over, and we played some chess while the boys were sleeping, 10 minute games. Then we watched Open Water, which is a scary movie. I took William to the park later, for the second time. He played some where he says, "come on," and I follow him around. He met a cute little girl, and they played a little. Then we went to the field, the ball park and grass. He played with the water fountain and got a little wet. He played with the rocks.

William dances to the TV sometimes. He really likes the Backyardigans. It's a lovely weekend with the boys, I missed being away from them, and it's hard to enjoy them when I'm tired during the work week. They've been a little clingy with their colds.

407. Back home

William and Andrew (the three guys, Natasia and Robyn) and Diana and Aida all went on a long bus ride to the Bronx Zoo today. They got there late, so they didn't do a whole lot, but they got to see baboon, monkey, Ibex and an ostrich.

Yesterday was the aquarium. William liked the jelly fish and clownfish and Andrew was scared of the shark.

It was so wonderful to see my boys when I got back from Aryaloka. I had a wonderful retreat, but really wanted to be reunited with my boys. They seem to have grown. William is talking more, Andrew is walking better. Andrew was not as ecstatic, I don't think he's as attached to me as yet. Happy 10 months to Andrew, and happy birthday to Diana. We went over to Diana's sister Virginia's house Sunday to celebrate, and a wonderful time was had by all.

406. Going Away

There has been so much going on. Work is so intense. That I am going away for a week, family has been intense. And the spiritual life has been intense too. So I've let the blog slide for the first time in a long time. I want to write once before I go away. I'm going to miss William and Andrew and Diana, so much, while I am on my retreat. Diana think it's crazy to go away, but it helps me to love them all, to be the best me possible for them.

Andrew is so cute, he howls till I pick him up, when I come home. William and I have a special connection as well. William is using more and more words, it's hard to keep track of. He's repeating words. I just love it when I lay on the floor and they climb all over me, I love swinging William around. Andrew does not yet feel comfortable with that. William is going on the swings more and more, which he avoided. I fear Andrew will have some of the vestibular sensory integration issues as William. I try to be mindful of when he's uncomfortable, and not push him into an uncomfortable mode.

I love William, Andrew, and Diana.

405. Eleven children

I'm writing this entry for the 3rd time, because on Aida's computer and another the pop up blocker blocked my spell check and I lost the text. So I'll just quickly say that there were 11 children over at "Camp Miller" as Diana likes to say, over in New Jersey. William said "bridge" when he saw it in a book, which made me proud, and then he later fell asleep with out a bottle.

404. Gum

They went to bed early for 3 days in a row. But I took William for a bike ride, and he fell asleep a couple blocks into it, so he took a nap. He probably won't be going to bed at 9 tonight.

Andrew's doctor appointment went well. He got 3 shots. He's not even gained a pound, only 12 ounces (21 lbs 13 oz.), almost one, but he's grown an inch in length (height) 28.5 inches and in circumference of his head, 47 1/4.

I went to a toy store and got William a big ball to help with some OT exorcises. I got him some hotwheel track, and a baseball glove and ball, and some beach toys. Diana got the glove and said, "this is what I thought you'd get when we found out I was pregnant!"

Diana said, "what's this in your mouth?" It turned out to be gum in Andrew's mouth. Yikes.

403. Bugs

William fell asleep Monday night, when I drove Aida and Natasia home. He got a good 12 hours sleep. With 6 kids around, Andrew had to be more vocal to get his needs me, but he was more vocal.

When I got home Tuesday night, they were both asleep. It made me sad. Good news--Cliff and Vava are moving two blocks away from us! How amazing can that be?! And he moves in Wednesday!

Andrew prefers regular food to baby food. William really likes to be outside. He says, "bugs," quite a lot.

402. Smack

William said, "Grandma" to Abuela. I want him to speak Spanish. I went over to Virginia and Tim's Saturday morning, so Diana could do her project for her class. She's not going to be taking classes until September, so life is going to get easier till then. It was the first night Diana didn't sleep with us, since we've been 4. William slept from 10-7.

The Irish couple I met Sunday at Virginia's party for the Ecuador v. England in the World Cup, had Holly a 3.8 year old, and Joshua, an 8 month old. They were impressed with Andrew's walking. Holly took a liking to William and they played all day. William fell asleep later, and I went and packed up to come home, and she slapped him awake. She apologized, and kissed to make up, and William planted a kiss smack on her lips, turning his head at the last minute. Cheeky little guy.

401. Twelve Steps

Diana has two more weekends of class, so this father's day, was another tough solo day. I gave the boys a bath, fed them, took them to the park, and then I was pretty much done. I hold off playing a DVD for a as long as I can. Virginia came over, and then went out for lunch, and came back. I didn't feel like going out for a meal. Last meal we went out was with Rich and I spent the whole time chasing William or trying to comfort Andrew.

The following are words William said Sunday: no, eggs, juice, triange, off, up, down, help, chalk, tooth brush, tooth paste, bath, door, push, bug and opse, plus the letters A and J, the names Andrew, baby, Emma, AJ, Vava and a Spanish word, "mas".

William nodded off coming back from the park, but woke up when here. While I was trying to put him down, unsuccessfully, William insisted on milk for himself. His bottle had enough, but he likes to add some more milk for some reason.

Diana called me at work Monday. Andrew took 6 steps. I came home later, and I counted out 12 steps that he took. Amazing.

400. Wow, 400!

I started this blog about 2 years ago, when William was 6 weeks old. Now he's two plus two (26 months, 2 days to be exact) and Andrew is almost 9 months. They a constant joy. When I wake up at 4:30 am, it's not so thrilling, but when I'm awake and he wakes up, he's just so cute. And to see William run towards me in excitement when I come home, well it's such a warm feeling I get.

I got done with jury duty, with not enough time to go to work, but enough time to take William to his second OT services. He did really well.

399. Step

Some notes: They were both asleep at 8:46! I'm sure they will wake in the night. I have jury duty tomorrow. We bought William a potty. We bought a double stroller. Andrew took his first step without holding onto something. Diana thinks his arm wasn't resting on the table, but close to it, 2 days ago. I saw him take a step, unambiguously, without help

398. Cars!

Andrew has another tooth on the bottom, he's no longer a snaggle toothed little baby. Abuela, his favorite, took care of him yesterday while William went to his first movie in the movie theater. He went to see Cars with Aida, Natasia, two of her nieces and Virginia. Diana said he liked it for a half hour, and enjoyed the popcorn. But then he walked around, and eventually fell asleep since it was around his nap time. That's what I thought would happen. Because I went to see my buddhist friends, I missed out on it, and then they didn't come home till 6, so I got to vacuum and read and nap.

Zane and Bridget sent some nice onesies for the boys, so they can dress up in the same thing. Diana has to wash them first, but William insisted on trying his on, and Diana said he looked cute in it.

Andrew dances, he shakes his booty to the music. He's got pincer hands, sometimes he clings to me, and pulls my hair, or pinches my skin.

For breakfast on Sunday William had blueberries, eggs, milk and banana. Andrew had baby cereal with some mango baby food mixed in. The both made me the present of a poopy diaper.

William calls chips "cookies", like he calls milk "juice". Someday we'll be able to correct these things.

Andrew has been able to stand for 20 seconds.

397. Walking

Andrew is on new formula. It's giving him some digestive troubles, but he's a trooper. He was walking last night while holding onto the hem of my shorts, not even with a hand.

Bart suggested he could edit the blog, which is an interesting idea, maybe put it into a book form. On the one hand, that kind of excites me. On the other, I'm afraid at the quality, I think a book needs more consideration than I put into these blog entries. But maybe.

In a vote of no confidence, when William comes to our bed in the morning to snuggle with us, and get some more sleep, he now goes around to Diana's side instead of waking me up.

William spent Thursday with his cousins at their home. Supposedly he didn't like the basement, maybe because it doesn't have a TV. When we were at Di's rented place on 39th Street, he saw a TV and said, "mo mo" I don't think he's saying "More Elmo" now, I think he's just chanting "Elmo Elmo". We're still waiting for more construction of language from him. Di said the boys were slow to talk too, I think it's family thing language delays, but we end up doing OK. Still we might add on an extra private day of speech therapy for William so he has 3 days instead of 2, with the generous offer from my mother. We have to talk to the speech therapist yet, see if she wants to.

396. Cousins

Yesterday was cousins day for Andrew and William. AJ, Emma and Venus came over. Then they saw Will and Bart in the evening, and Di and Wes. Then we picked up Natasia, and she's slept over.

Andrew has gone from requesting two fingers to walk, to walking with the support of only one hand. He's full of life and raring to go. He's really quite cute these days. Andrew is also using things to stand and walk. Andrew has developed an angry cry to express his dissatisfactions.

Of course William is jealous of the attention he gets and continues to grab things away from him and say, "mine," and sometimes is rough with him in an attempt to play.

William has a few non-sense words he's developed that I like. One is "schumm" and the other is "bosch"

395. Andres/Andrew

Diana and I felt sick yesterday, so Abuela helped us out and took Andres home with her.

I call Andres "Andrew" because that's the closest English name to what I take to be a Spanish name. I've only heard of one Andres before, Andres Galaraga, a baseball player. Last night I heard of another one, a German architect who's first name was Andres.

I was giving William a diaper change on Sunday and he was upset about it, and bashed Andrew in the face a few times before I could stop him. A challenging moment for me, when I'm caring for them alone. I'm glad Diana has been taking these Sunday classes, it has given me a window into her experience of caring for them both alone. I took care of William until I went back to work, after Diana went back to work, and that was a mighty challenge. But I haven't done that with the both of them.

I think Diana's not working is one reason Andrew doesn't have an adverse reaction to Abuela. William said, "NO!" and made a pushing away gesture when Abuela came over last night. Andrew wants to be with her, he was crying because she didn't pick him up right away, she put some bags down first.

I took William to the park yesterday. He can climb the ladder without any help. He's going down the slide without help, though he's still reluctant to do the big one alone, that twists around. He likes to get dirty and I let him. He plays with puddles and in the water fountain. He likes to play with sticks and stones. He got very upset when I took him home. He was upset and dropped his stick and I was glad to get rid of it, and that enraged him even further. My back hurt the next day from giving him a shoulder ride, because all the strollers were in Abuelo's car.

394. Opse

Last Sunday morning William slept all night in his bed, and then walked out to play with his cars in the window first, and did not climb in bed with us.

Andrew sticks his tongue out to his left, to touch his new tooth, lower left.

On Monday, I met the extended family at Flushing Meadows Park. William was playing in the sprinklers. I think he had a good day of exploration and playing. Andrew slept, but woke up and did his one man entertainment show of trying to walk and stand. I biked there, and left them when they were leaving to walk back. They go caught in the rain, but declined the car pickup.

William doesn't like Dora so much, or commercials. He's gotten into the cookie monster, and he likes it when I show my "terrible claws" when I act out in reading Where The Wild Things Are. He's been getting into the Sesame Beginnings DVDs. He's gotten a diaper rash for the first time, to my knowledge. Diana thinks that it's cute he goes "opse." He's figured out how to take the screen off the window and climb out onto the fire escape. Not good. We keep the window cracked because of that.

393. Tough Guy

Monday William played with Punjabi speaking children, and on Friday he played with an Gujarati speaking girl at Vleigh Park. William didn't take a nap and with the excitement of AJ, Emma and Venus here for the third day, he fell asleep early, and Andrew fell asleep. Diana went to a movie, and I had one of the easiest times of watching my children alone. Andrew got up, but he went back to bed.

William bumped his head earlier in the week, and Diana took him to the doctor just to be careful. The doctor said it was just superficial, he was OK. The next day he had his shots and blood tests. He didn't cry and seemed interested. The doctor talked to him, and he didn't fuss, and opened his mouth when she asked him to.

392. Confirmation

Natasia's confirmation was a big family event. I got there late with Virginia's help, but before Natasia got here. There was dinner afterwards at one of those meat restaurants, where they come around and give you what you want, all you can eat. William got upset at one point and banged his head in a tantrum, and was crying for a long time. I went and got Diana, William fell asleep. He fell asleep during the service too. He's a very heavy fellow.

Today when I got home, I took William for a ride. Last night he was screaming "No!" in his sleep, and slept rather upset at times, so I felt like treating him to a ride. We went to Alley Pond Park and he played with some Punjabi speaking Hindu American kids.

391. Tooth

Andrew's tooth came in. Lower left.

William was tossing the clothes off the his bed, when his mother was sorting it out. Diana said, "don't be like your father."

William wouldn't go in the bouncy thing, or on the slide at the street fair in Manhattan. I went to pick them up at Aida's. Natasia has her communion tomorrow. Virginia and Tim got back from Hawaii.

390. Weaned

Thursday May 18th was Andrews last breast feeding. He's on the bottle now. Just like William, he and Diana have gradually weaned him from breast milk.

William has been sleeping in his bed longer, not waking up and coming to our bed until the sun is up. Paul came over to watch the Mets beat the Yankees with me, and he went to bed around 8:30. Paul was amazed how Grunty would crawl over to something and hoist himself up.

William said "Emma" when I showed him a picture of her. She was over yesterday, and William wanted to play with her, but she was in a nap when Harry brought her. Aida and Natasia came over. Natasia is doing a running club once a week, and Aida says she's doing really well.

Correction: The Ten Minutes To Bedtime book was given to us by Zane and Bridget, I mistakenly attributed it to my Aunt Di.

389. CMOM

Diana had to write a paper today. Last night she asked if I would take the day off. I have 5 personal days, so I took the day off. Andrew went to Abuela's, and Janet took over after she left for work, as usual. I took William to the Children's Museum of Manhattan. We went to a Wahol exhibit. He identified the dog, "wow wow" and others. There was a class there, getting a lesson. They took photos of you with an Uncle Sam outfit or Superman, or others, but William was somehow very shy at that moment. Second floor was a Dora The Explorer exhibit. I met a woman with a daughter William's age, and another daughter around Andrew's age. She said her daughter did not qualify for speech, but they for her 3 days a week. The exhibits were nothing profound, but it was cool to let the kids run wild, to have so many kids. We went upstairs and there was story time, but William was not into that. He said "triangle" or close to it, when he held up a big triangle. There were buses to fake drive, he had fun with that. Then he said, "juice," which means milk, which means he's hungry. We went to a deli around the corner, that obviously sees lots of children because they gave him water in one of those plastic cups with a straw. He ate fries, slaw and some of my vegetarian ruben sandwich, but not much of the milk I got for him. He was sweet in the high chair for about 10 minutes, but then we was bridling to get out, and stood up. He wandered around. Out on the street he was hard to contain, and I put a new diaper on him in the car. I got a $65 ticket (museum $16, lunch $20=$101). I went to get a new parking spot, because I'd wasted my quarters in what turned out to be a misreading of the sign--what it really said was that the alternate parking applies also to the metered spots, but I read it the other way...opse. We got a spot on Central Park West, and walked down 3 blocks to a park around 84th street, that had a huge sand box, and other interesting areas. Lots of nannies, and mothers. It took me a while to spot a man, and then I saw a few more. The sand box was fun, nobody was picky about their things, and shovels were easy to get unless you tried to steal one from a kids hands, and then an interesting drama unfolded, to see who would enforce justice. Some kids came over to me, a white man, they felt safe, and played with me. At one point, there was so much fighting about a hole, that I made another one, to distract some kids and they just transfered the fight to the new hole. I made a bunch of holes, but it lost energy. William at one point found a cement mixer, which he absolutely would not give up, until the mother/owner asked for it back. A woman shot noisy balloons around, which was attractive to the kids. One kid had a bubbles gun, that William liked to chase the bubbles. The nanny defended the kid from others who tried to snatch his toy. My ebb in energy had me begging Diana to come home, but eventually it was time to head home, and we left. Took 75 minutes to drive home. William slept the whole way. My back hurts. I hope William had a good day. It was good to see Andrew when Janet and Victor brought him back. Diana is happy to have 2 papers turned in, glad to see her brood.

388. Da!

Andrew has a bad case of the momities. He cries when his mother walks away from him. William continues to be jealous, and act on it. William likes to try to make reparations after he's gotten a firm, "no!" which is sweet, but I'd rather he just didn't hurt his brother or make him cry. He is trying the best he can, and is aware of surveillance, and our wish for him to do no harm.

We've been discussing getting more structure in preparation for Diana going back to work in September, and just to get a regular bed time, and reduce and end the use of the bottle for William. With Diana not working, she doesn't have to get up for work, so she has decided to let them stay up with her. But I think another part of her wants them to get into a regular routine. I think also she would like my help at bed time, and with a late bed time and work, I'm just not available. She's asked me to maybe take some time off to make this happen, and I have agreed.

On a sad note, William's godfather, Paul, lost his cat Pumpkin Friday. I was quite sad for Paul in his loss, sad for Pumpkin. Paul has shared a life with him for 16 years.

It's Mother's Day Weekend. I let Diana sleep late.

Andrew says, "da!"

387. Tidal Wave

With Diana's papers and Andrew's new mobility, which require more supervision and comforting of disappointments, the slim margin, the buffer zone has shrunk to nothing, and the tidal wave of demands has eliminated the blog from consideration. Nothing really revolutionary has happened. Last night William pushed Andrew away, shouting, "share,". I suppose you have to misuse a word to learn what it means. I thought I'd taught it to him, when at Virginia's he brought over to Andrew some toys to play with. I said, "good sharing," to William, and he seemed proud of himself. To his world it's either give or keep, and "share" just becomes part of that. Last night he let me read to him the cool book Di gave him for his birthday, called Ten Minutes, and it's about the countdown to bed time. He let me read it to him while he was in his bed, under the covers, and I thought maybe he would let me put him to sleep, but alas, he hoped out of bed, and carried on for a while. I had to get some sleep. William has been exploring more outside our apartment, in the grass, the chains they have to keep people off the grass, the stairs down into the laundry room, the flower beds which he wants to destroy.

386. Ear Infection

Andrew has a ear infection. William is fine. William was good, he was set down fairly easily and looked at some books in the doctor's office, and played with trucks in the waiting room. He played peekaboo with Andrew to make him laugh when he was crying.

I took Andrew and William to the doctor alone because Diana had to mind Emma, AJ and Venus. A fact has evolved-- I can't carry both of them, for very far. William was not to into walking, but he held my hand. I got the prescription sent to the wrong place, and they didn't give me the right bill. Aida was going to help me out, but she didn't get there until after I was finished. I had no expectations.

William went to bed last night at 7. They both woke up in the night. Andrew got up earlier than he usually does. William fell asleep on the coffee table at Abuela's, where Diana had gone to do some laundry. I woke him up when I took him to the doctor. He was upset this morning when I went in to meditate, and when I didn't have time to shower with him. He's sweet. He says goodbye and huged and kissed me.

385. Andrew crawls

Last night, somehow Andrew got 3 feet and pulled himself up onto his walker, to stand up. I was reading in the bedroom and Diana was doing some bottles in the kitchen. She yelled to come out. How did he get there? A combination of lunging and rolling, his only mode of solo locomotion yet. Today he crawled a little bit towards Diana and she said, "maybe that was how he got there."

Last night Diana went out to see another place to hold Natasia's confirmation dinner. So I had William. We went to the park. He likes to climb all over things, but I had a hard time prying out of his hands stuff. You need your hands free to climb. He's running around more. He went to play in the sand by the ball park, and took off his shoes. There was a little doggie he played with and played in the water fountain. I had a hard time keeping him off the ball fields, where adults were playing softball. He walked over to a intersection and he seems to have learned the word "bus". He's in awe of all the cars. I finally convinced him to come back into the park and he played on a big dirt pile. Finally I'd had enough and had to eat some dinner, so I took him home around 8, which he protested and called out "momma".

384. Mr. Inbetween

Long time no blog. Sometimes the tidal wave of demands by my two sonny boys raises up and I am washed beyond where I feel I have control. I'm pretty puny in the world, but at times I trick myself into thinking I'm more acter than acted upon.

Both of them seem to have had runny noses for as long as I can remember. We ran out of tissue paper, so I'm using toilet paper.

Andrew is in the stage where where wants to go everywhere, but does not yet have the means. He's constantly dissatisfied because of it. He doesn't want to be held. He wants to be constantly moved. He is put down and gives some frustrated attempts to move. He's actually moving more. He's very interested in his brother, and if he comes into the room and makes a noise, and he's feeding, he will turn his head to look at him and stop drinking at his bottle.

William is cute, and mean. He bonks his brother on the head, makes him cry, but then he uses all his words to try and get into good favor. Or he won't spill something he would usually spill, he's more pliable. He will throw things out.

Virginia has been around because Tim is out of town, and so she's been gratified because she has "taught" him things.

William is saying words, I say "share" and he says a close version of it. He's mostly using "up", "down", "help", "ball", "bike", "baby" and "juice". "Mo" means a DVD, usually Sesame Street, but he'll accept Blues Clues or Backyardigans. He's into Sing Yourself Sillier right now. Book wise he's into Fox On Sox, among others, and that's a real tongue twister. He seems to be more into climbing up onto the window ledge more these days.

383. Rich is here!

Andres turns 7 months tomorrow. Rich came Friday and we went out to dinner. It was quite difficult and William never sat at the table, except at the end, when he had a bottle. Andres was OK, sat in his carrier and than drank milk in his carrier, but from then on he was in play and then even got cranky. It was quite exhausting and dispiriting for me, it made me not want to go out in public with the boys because it's just too hard. Then I feel bad for having negative thoughts, parents are always supposed to be calm, pleasant and in control.

William was very cute giving me a hug when I went out to get bagels for breakfast. He says bye bye.

They're not ready yet for eating out, and while William likes to explore the world, I think it's just easier to be at home. We don't go out much, and that's the way it's going to be for a while. But once the boys get more under control and respond to language, then I want to do more. And I want to do thing with one of them, that's manageable. Even eating at the table was difficult with both William and Andrew awake tonight. I write Andrew, but his real name is Andres. I call him Andrew. I'm quite exhausted.

I got a new bike today. To hopefully ride to work, and it has a child carrier, so I can give a boy a ride. I got a helmet for William, and when he gets a little bigger and can't ride it, Andrew can.

William likes his new tricycle, though he hasn't quite figured out locomotion with it. He says, "bike bike bike," in a cute way. It's nice to have Rich here.

382. Seaseme Beginnings

Sometimes waves of activity engulf me, and it's hard to write about the wave that rushes away. William had a birthday, and on Easter we celebrated Emma and William's birthday with Diana's family. It was a big gathering. William got to play outside a lot, which I always think is good. He seemed to take a shine to Nicole his younger cousin, smiling at her. I limped into work on Monday, it was pretty tiring for me.

Monday morning William and Andrew woke to Harry being there. Diana went with her mother for her surgery to remove a lump in her breast.

Wednesday we went to a dumpy Italian place to have a family meal. Nothing lasts and very long and soon they are hard to manage.

William is saying "help" more. Thursday Janet watched William and Andrew for a little while.

381. Cake!

William had a dentist appointment. Getting him dressed he punched me in the face. I say, "you can be angry with daddy, but no hitting." Of course he doesn't have the language to understand or express it, but I'm getting ready for when he does.

Virginia came over and took them all out. I get to take it easy because I'm sick, which is how it should be, but usually I don't get to with the children around. You know I'm sick when I stay home from work because usually it's harder to be at home than work. Diana says, "call if you need something," but I'm sure she's not happy that I'm under the weather for this important weekend. She has been nice to me, but she bears the burdens.

Aunt Nancy in Ecuador sent William a coat. Emma too. Great Grandpa and Grandma Parks also sent 4 cards, I forgot to mention. My mother reports their presents are on the way. And Rich is coming next weekend, he's going to be bringing some presents.

For William's birthday he had a dentist appointment, he had a hair cut, and pictures taken. He's not going to like his birthday in the future. He doesn't like the birthday song. Virginia and Tim were over, and Andrew had more fun with the cake.

Saturday we went to Cunningham Park. William fell asleep, and took a while to get into it, but he finally did. We had dinner together at the table too.

We got a package from Zane and Bridget. We got a puppet from Aunt Di in New Mexico. Lots of good presents.

380. Birthday boy!

I came home from work yesterday and slept 18 hours. I'm feeling pretty weak today, I don't see me being much good at work today. I haven't eaten much. Not sure what it is, never really felt this way before, but I suppose it's probably some kind of temporary bug. I've had a cold, but this is more than a cold. I'm not just tired because I had 8 hours the night before. The whole time I was worried about William, somehow. I'm also worried about my patients too, they've come to rely on me, and I don't like being sick.

I missed seeing William and Andrew last night because I was locked in the bedroom. Somehow he didn't see me when I came in and went to the bathroom. All kinds of kids were over, and Harry took them to the park. William fell asleep at the park.

Today is William's birthday! He is 2 years old. He's such a wonderful boy. I hope he has a good day and weekend. We already got flowers from Zane and Bridget, and a nice outfit from Great Grandma and Grandpa Parks.

Diana reports William says "wait" a lot. Also "watch".

379. Andres and Guillermo

William has gone longer without insisting his socks come off. Andrew is wearing William's old clothes, I keep thinking they vaguely look familiar, and then I realize that I have quite fond associations. I took Andrew for a walk to get India food for dinner, and he fell asleep. Wednesday seems to be crash night, they all take long naps. Last Wednesday when Paul was here they were all sleeping. I can't remember the week before that. Andrew is so adorable. I gave William a bath this morning. He doesn't cry until he gets soap in his eyes, when he rubs his eyes with his soapy hands. Tuesday morning Andrew slept late. Last night some cousins came over, more family get pictures with Andres and Guillermo.

378. Snow! Standing!

William said "snow," and it was snowing outside. This morning when I was leaving, he didn't numb down and pretend I wasn't going. He grabbed his jacked and gave it to me so I could put it on him and take him with me. Broke my heart to go to work without him. He's been saying "up" and "down".

On Monday night Andrew grabbed the crib, and stood up. He's quite active, he stands holding on easily. He's very fussy, he wants to move. He thrashes, and wiggles and won't sit quietly so much any more. He cries when he's left alone, so he definitely is becoming attached.

377. Cry Baby

William checks what I have in my hands when I come home to see if I have any presents for him. I occasionally bring something home for him. William has gotten into whipies, now we have to hide them from him. William took off his onesie tonight, so he could be naked.

Andrew fusses when Diana leaves, Abuela leaves, Janet leaves. Janet baby sat Thursday and Friday. Diana went out with friends and saw a movie. I had a hard evening with them, Andrew cried and when I was trying to put Andrew to sleep, William kept waking him up. I don't think I handled it as well as I would have liked to.

William has been going to the park this week with the warmer weather. He ran around when I was with him Saturday. He went on the swing for a little while, which he's not very much into. He had another occupational therapy evaluation. The woman said when he climbs he wants pressure on him. So we put a pillow over him and I press and say, "squish, squish, squish." or tight hugs. He smiles. I think he has some sensory integration issues. I think I have a few myself. We all do to varying degrees.

376. Gretch

It was lovely to see Gretchen on Saturday night, and Virginia and Tim. Gretchen is so funny, I think she could be a comedian if she wanted to be. She was very sweet with the boys too.

Sunday was a bit difficult. I have troubles taking care of two children sometimes, and I lose my equanimity. William keeps waking Andrew up, and I'm only trying to put him to sleep so I can have more time for William.

When I came home on Monday night, late, they both are very excited to see me, and they seem to be just the cutest boys in the world.

Grunty of course woke me up early. I'm looking forward to Day Light Savings Time changing, so the sun gets up later.

375. The Mundane

My aunt Di said, "I don't read the blog, I have a life. You write about the mundane, he burped, he did this, he did that." She said that after I pointed out she would know that Virginia was married if she read the blog. She said, "you can send something more than photos!" She said her blog would be equally uninteresting.

They brought dinner, came out to us in the boondocks of Queens, and brought presents for Andrew and William. Will and Bart played a lot with William, they had him laughing up a storm.

William says, "turn," and, "thank you clearly."

374. Andrew is 6 months!

Andrew is 6 months today, 15 plus if you count it from conception, which we estimate somewhere around New Year. He's a sweet lovable adorable little baby. Virginia stopped by on her way home from somewhere or other. I got some good pictures of her holding both the boys.

I had Emma and William in my lap reading before Angie came. I feel really lucky that William has Emma to bounce off of, play with, fight with and ignore. When he got a little rough with her, I said, "kiss" and he tries to kiss her, and be sweet. He's really quite adorable. William's dancing has become more sophisticated and varied, but he got shy dancing for Virginia.

Andrew woke up at 7 this morning. I fed him (too much it turns out) and he puked up a little bit. I sat him down and tried to meditate, but you need to occasionally feed him new toys to play with and examine, and he occasionally leans over and loses his position.

William is so much for me, and Andrew was so much on top of that. I didn't get to spend 6 months not working with him, which feels unfair somehow. But I think he has a wonderful spirit so far, and I'm just so curious to see what kind of person he turns out to be, and how he and William develop their sibling relationship. Life is very rich.

373. Shush Baby

William cried when his little pancake broke. Diana reports he cried when his animal cracker broke.

Andrew requires more attention, he's ability to move himself does not match his ability to keep himself safe or hurt himself. I leaned away for a second and he toppled over and hit his face on the edge of William's bed.

Yesterday they went to Evan's birthday. I took the opportunity to take a 6 hour nap. They fell asleep, but Diana had homework to do. She woke up early and I asked her if she wanted to breast feed Andrew, to relieve the pressure of the night's buildup. She had to do homework, she says it didn't hurt. I think she's producing less milk. William got 8 months, Andrew is almost 6 month, I suppose the taper to no more breast has begun. Diana reports that the other day he was not so insistent about breast milk.

Andrew woke up at 7. There was a while when they were both crying and insisting to be held, and yet William would not be held with Andrew in my arms. Andrew finally fell asleep, with William not helping. In Piggle, Winnicott's book on a child psychotherapy, the little girl called her younger sibling, "the shush baby". I sometimes shush William because of his brother.

372. "Mine"

William likes to play chasing games. He won't share the blue crayon, and I chase him around for it. William likes to play Ernie to my Burt, dumping toys out, and I get all upset and want to put them away.

William has developed his own vocabulary. "Ew" is a kind of disgusted noise. "Da boom" is a kind of action sentence. "Nuh nuh" is a kind of pleading wanting, pay attention to me.

Tuesday Andrew went to bed early. Wednesday William went to bed early. Tonight I'm going to bed early. I'm exhausted. Diana turned her paper in, and it's been a hard week.

Last night I gave Grunty a bath, perhaps my first solo bath with him. The water was cold, so I made it short. I think his new nickname should be Grungy. Andrew is huge, he lunges at anything that catches his fancy.

Tuesday William was all set to get upset about me going to work, when Emma came over. He loves to play with her.

My meditation have been influenced by their irregular sleep patterns. Sometimes I get up to save Diana some sleep. Sometimes Andrew wakes up and I can feed him and get him back to bed, and sometimes like this morning, they were both up, and Diana contained them until I was finished. William related well to his brother. Diana put them in the crib and went to the bathroom, and I hear laughter. Diana took them to her mothers, and came home later and finished her paper. I held William in the sunshine, so he could get some vitamins in sunshine.

William said "mine!" in response to Emma's "mine!"

371. The Door In The Floor

I got up with Andrew at 5:30 Friday morning. I usually get up at 6:30 for 30 minutes of reading and 40 minutes of meditation, and then get myself together for work. I feel more energy in the morning, I'm a morning person, and I see Diana and I splitting her into the evening and me into the morning, though I'm sure she would point out how often she ends up getting up in the morning too.

Thursday morning they were both awake when I set down to meditate (late because I overslept). William came out and was respectful, but I smiled and patted him to reassure him, and not freak him out. I wanted him to have a positive vibe from me meditating. I only got 20 minutes to sit, but I've actually been quite good at getting my morning dose of meditation, with Diana not working. I worry about September when she goes back to work, but I suppose I should just appreciate the now.

Saturday night Diana used my move--going to bed with William. I was up late with Andrew. In the morning I felt already spent when they both woke up, just as I was about to sit and meditate after Diana left. I had a rough morning with they boys, they took turns crying and sleeping and I wasn't as good as last weekend. I turned on the TV right away. Perhaps my tone of voice prompted Diana to call her parents, and they volunteered to come over and get the children, and I had them alone only for 6 hours. I think I could have made the whole time; I didn't ask her to do it. But I did suffer William's look of betrayal as I buckled him into the car seat and kissed him goodbye. He recovers pretty quickly, he's easily distracted, that's one good thing about a child's attention span.

I saw the movie The Door In The Floor. Like The Sweet Hereafter, the center of the story is the death of children, and the consequences that has on the parents, and the people the parents come in contact with. To say that these stories evoke, what's Aristotle's conception, catharsis, a powerful emotional response, is to understate the emotions it evokes in me. And yet, I'm a pretty risky driver still, impatient and needing the care to keep me awake and attentive; I really need to modify my driving style. That is why I like to talk on the phone in the car (with my hands free headphone), because it distracts me and I drive more safely.

It's all a dream, anyway, this life, and I know how the story ends: everyone dies. My paternal paternal great grandparents died, my maternal grandparents, an uncle, other relatives I hardly knew. There is an order that usually holds. And yet, there is no prevention of suffering, nothing to stop this loose pattern to not hold. Perhaps I should not watch such movies, but they sneak up on you. I turned on the TV while I had some soup, and that is what I caught. I suppose that serves me right for turning on the TV, again.

370. Go

Eric says to Andrew, "where do you want to go?" He wants to go everywhere. Andrew took William's spider man cup that his glamma gave him. They fought over it.

Eric's visit, Di is visiting in a few weeks, and Rich is coming right after that.

Diana gave William some peanut-butter. He liked it. Eric said, "he better like it or his career as an American boy is ruined, they'll have to ship him over to France."

Diana likes to shop, but she doesn't like to shop with me so much (which is fine with me). But I went to a big store to get some cases of formula today for the first time. I got William a book on noses, because he's always grabbing Andrew's nose and saying, "nose!" Virginia taught him "hair" the other weekend. I got some other stuff, that store is cunningly conceived.

Our African American neighbors have a 5 week old baby girl, they were taking her out in stroller when I was coming in. The mother said on the way out about my boxes of formula, and the store, "that's my favorite store now."

Thursday evening William was upset when I went out to dinner with Eric. This is my experience now, I can't give enough time and energy to anyone, not at home, not at my job, not in the sangha. It's been nice to have Eric here, and reconnect. I like having friends for a long time, and his is interestingly episodic with his visits. I like his worldly experience.

William said, "go" to get me into his room to read last night. Diana says he says, "me go," meaning "follow me where I go." It's quite amazing the way he changes.

369. I don't know!

William said, "I don't know," which is I think his first sentence, beyond More Elmo ("mo mo").

William hasn't been watching as much TV. I got some more DVDs, and he was interested, but we seem to have broken the spell on the TV. But after 4 days of no naps and early bedtimes, he's back to the nap, and tonight he's taken a long nap.

368. Solid Food

Natasia called today. She said she was coming over. That's the first time I've picked up the phone to hear her voice. She called us. She's 8. She says, "actually eight and a half!" William likes to eat gogurt with Natasia. Aida came over. Diana's mother is coming over and they're going to be feeding Andrew cereal for the first time today.

William said "smile", "rain", "snow" and "please".

I watched William and Andrew yesterday from 7:30 a.m. to 6 p.m., my longest stretch alone with the two of them. It went well, and I didn't turn on the TV until 4:45, when Andrew's fussiness made me want to distract William for a little while.

On Monday Diana fed Andrew rice cereal with apple sauce and some formula. He took it fine, but later in the day puked up formula.

367. Veng

I'm sorry not to write more. Things get very busy at times, and I can't write as much as I would like to. I appreciate all the readers who are interested in our family.

William says "cool", "shoes" "bath". He does the sign language for "more" putting his two hands together.

Everyone was glad to see me when I got home from two days away on retreat. William of course does a million new things, and Andrew wiggles more vigorously. It was very hard to leave them, but this is so important to me, and I am just so grateful that Diana allows me to go, and all the family support she gets that allows it.

William is climbing up the entertainment unit more. He's drinking from a cup. Eric is visiting, and he will visit next week too. He's from France, did a Ph.D. in Madison Wisconsin and now works in Germany. We went to see some jazz at Fat Cat.

William says "bear" and "open" and "veng" meaning come. William puts his two hands together for the more symbol of sign language. He kind of uses it for "I want this" instead of "more" which is what it means. Shani is working on getting more eye contact from William. They're thinking of doing a re-evaluation so William can get OT services, because that would help him progress with the speech. At the time I was elated to see William do well, but now I wouldn't mind more services.

William didn't take a nap Friday and slept 12 hours. I am glad Diana got to really sleep in.

366. "Teve"

Virginia brought over some DVDs that William hasn't seen in a while, and he was mesmerized when he finally let me put them in. Usually William likes to choose the DVD.

William's speech therapy continues to go well. Shani had a fish puzzle, where you put pieces in with the fishing stick and magnet. The puzzle does not have pictures, and he still matches it. William is imitating more. He says "mine", "more" and "ven," which means come. He learned that from Janet who watches him Tuesday evening when Diana goes to class before I get to come. We're trying to get him to say "open" and "help". She's teaching his sign, and he does some. She has cards with words from the song. He follows along with stories, but he doesn't sing yet.

Emma wouldn't say my name, she says everyone else's name, but mine. But then last night when I was washing dishes, she kept coming to the kitchen saying my name, and then laughing and running away when I said, "what?"

365. Andrew rolls over!

"Bye Ma" and "Mo Mo" (More Elmo) are William's two word sentences.

Virginia just came over. Venus, AJ and Emma slept over last night (surprise!).

Andrew rolled over from his back to his front on 2/15, and the next day he rolled over and got his arm free. I missed them both. The first time William insisted I read to him in the bedroom. The second time I went out to get juice for Emma who has a terrible cough. She's coughing now.

Aida and Natasia went to Bahamas.

Diana said it would be OK for me to join a gym. I want to get strong for these boys, to be vigorous as I age. I'm 38, and when the boys are18, I'll be 56. I hope to keep up with them for as long as possible. Diana also think it will help me to be less depressed. I have a fear of being overwhelmed, and I am often over-stimulated, and there's no retreat. I do feel some positive adjustment towards handling the load better. I hope to go 2-3 times a week, mostly to lift weights, though they have yoga and pilates, which I'm interested. I'll run or bike there, so I don't need their machines, though I might use them to warm up. I joined the cheapest gym, and there are broken machines, but it will do. I feel sort of torn about missing some time with the boys. It's pretty hard for me to work all day and come home and be totally there. Diana gets angry when I go to bed, and she's staying up.

Tuesday's 4 hours of being alone with the children is humbling. I don't know how Diana does it. Plus she got Emma, AJ and Venus yesterday. She's taking 2 classes, and now she's going to start intensive Sunday classes tomorrow.

365. Snow!

William and Andrew won't remember us snow covered when we came in after being away for a day and a half. The busses did not seem to be running, so we walked from Union Turnpike. We should make some family legend about the blizzard of '06 that kept us away. William said, "snow." It felt so good to hug William and to hold Andrew. Diana had a lot of breast milk for Andrew in bottles.

364. The day

Andrew scratches the sheet, because he likes the noise, from the crib. He gets his wee little hands through the slats. I've got to put cardboard or something there, so he doesn't hurt his arm.

Andrew did that for Aida last night. Natasia opened her eyes, so William got to wake them up when he was ready. Andrew slept through the night. William enjoyed the big crayons I got him. I thank Aida very much for doing this for us. I know she was tired. William wanted his "dada". Sweet boy.

We had breakfast and went back to sleep. I've been reading a lot, but I expect to nap away the afternoon. Diana still has a kind of agony at being separated from her children. I'm not as anguished, but I do miss my boys. I'll see them tomorrow.

363. A day away

Diana cried when we left for a two nights and one day away from the children. I focused on her pain. Of course William and Andrew were very cute. We're going to sleep curtsey of Virginia and her generosity. Thank you Villo.

362. Day out!

Saturday Diana and Aida went out for the evening and I had lovely Natasia to help me with the boys. She does well.

Sunday I took William to Cliff and Vava's. They got to meet their cats Carrot Tail and Pirate. William chased them around, and ate their cat food. Yikes! Cliff and Vava are very good people to visit with a toddler, they are tolerant and kind.

William and I took the super bowl at Ray and Diana's. Ray gave Andrew, his god son, some nice clothing for xmas. They threw a good party. Paul and Matt were there too. William played with the computer and fridge magnets, but spit out food, and put his fist into the dip. Yikes!

Spending so much time with me, Diana said William woke up and was looking for me, but alas it was Monday and I went to work.

Andrew is as cute as ever. William is growing up, doing more things. He gets the phone, throws out trash. I read to him. He plays with things. He's dancing more to the DVDs.

362. Boys day out

Saturday Diana and Aida went out for the evening and I had lovely Natasia to help me with the boys. She does well.

Sunday I took William to Cliff and Vava's. They got to meet their cats Carrot Tail and Pirate. William chased them around, and ate their cat food. Yikes! Cliff and Vava are very good people to visit with a toddler, they are tolerant and kind.

William and I took the super bowl at Ray and Diana's. Ray gave Andrew, his god son, some nice clothing for xmas. They threw a good party. Paul and Matt were there too. William played with the computer and fridge magnets, but spit out food, and put his fist into the dip. Yikes!

Spending so much time with me, Diana said William woke up and was looking for me, but alas it was Monday and I went to work.

Andrew is as cute as ever. William is growing up, doing more things. He gets the phone, throws out trash. I read to him. He plays with things. He's dancing more to the DVDs.

361. Andrew's Dr. Apt.

Andrew is 19 pounds, he grew 2 inches in length, and 3 in the circumference of his head. The doctor gave him 4 shots. His stuffed up nose is clearing up. Diana got some good exercise and walked to the doctor. We're going to have to change because of our changes in health plans. Diana got the records, so we can take him to a new one.

Andrew has been vocalizing a lot. This morning when he woke up at 5:30am, he was vocalizing. William wakes up around that time and cries till he gets a bottle and is held. I wake up and can't fall asleep, so I read.

William is doing all kinds of exciting things, like bringing me the phone when it's ringing. Diana took him to Queens College yesterday, his first visit to Queens College. Diana is taking two classes. I think she likes getting out, but last night William was difficult.

William said "ba," the other day, asking for a bath. He says "go," "door", "shoe" and Diana thinks he's getting close to saying, "please".

360. Indigo

William said "go" and "car" today. He's added "shoe", "rain", and "door". He's getting close to saying "tickle"

William Bell is the reincarnation of William Bell. He wakes Grunty up, he wakes dad up, he wakes mother up.

I'm afraid I'm the one who woke up Diana from her nap this evening. Andrew started crying and I frantically put a bottle together after finding and opening a new bottle of formula. I forgot to screw the top tight on the bottle, and the formula poured all over him, and he wailed and wailed.

I worry about sensory integration, but I don't have to worry about Andrew talking, he's exercising his mouth every day.

Emma was here today. William likes to chase Emma back and forth on the couch.

William has been pulling me into the bedroom to read more, since we got back from Virginia's house on Sunday night. He reads all the wonderful books everyone has gotten us, and the books I picked out with the gift certificates. He says a firm "no" to books I pick that he doesn't want to read. Sometimes he's less patient with me reading the words, and pages through the book quickly. Sometimes he's open to new books. He let me read Where The Wild Things Are for the first time the other day.

I read about Indigo children in the NY Times the other day. They are troublesome children, who supposedly have an indigo aura. It's hooey, but I like the idea that they are here to save the world. I suppose you could say that about every child. Today I read about hikikomori, Japanese shut ins who live in their rooms for years.

359. Tarzan

It's been busy lately, hard to blog. William keeps doing new things, getting into things that make it difficult for us at times, because of his unbridled curiosity. Andrew is doing well, he seems to be different than William in many ways. His hair line is different, less hair, sleeps more, refuses to sleep on his back. His whole demeanor is different, his talking. He is like William in that, at the same age, he liked to have visual stimulation. I spent more time with William than I have with Andrew. William has gotten less insistent about watching Elmo, but when he is, he's even more insistent. He goes in phases of wanting me to read to him. He always wants me to be near him and play. He's very possessive, which is cute. I could coo at Andrew all day. William has taken to drinking milk only if it has some oatmeal in it. Not regular oatmeal, but the baby oatmeal stuff.

Wrote the above last weekend. Having lots of trouble blogging these days. Will and Bart came over last night and we had a pleasant visit. Good to see them, reminds me of their intelligence and kindness.

Diana nicknamed Andrew Tarzan, because sometimes when he "talks" he makes a kind of Tarzan holler. Emma nicknamed Abuela "Food".

William said "shoe" the other day. I had to wake William up for Shani, his speech therapist. I'm not feeling well today, called in sick.

358. 2006

William fell asleep, but woke up later. Diana went upstairs to spend the new year with William as it was coming into being. Andrew was held by Paquita and Jimmy. It's a new year. I think about the past and future quite a lot, so the technical change over presents no real new challenge for me. Of course it has been an amazing year with the birth of Andrew. I was writing to Bill that I don't read much any more, but I get to watch two children unfold and develop in front of me, which is rather amazing. William keeps amazing us. Andrew is really quite the charmer, with his conversation with you. I feel so lucky to have those two and the mother who bore them, and the family and support network that helps us, which is really quite deep and wide. I suppose the turning of the calendar is another opportunity to express my gratitude and wonder of it all.

357. Christmas

We came to Virginia's Friday night, late because they did some last minute shopping. Virginia slept with Grunty. Harry, Angie, AJ, Emma and Venus came over. Then Abuela and Abuelo, with Judy, Brian, Alba and Veronica. Then Victor and Janet. We had a nice meal, but William was tired, and I went to bed with him. He woke up later, and we found him crying on top of the stairs. Someone turned down the monitor. So William was awake for the festivities.

Somehow they got Tim to dress up as Santa Claus. We took pictures. Abuela wanted to talk about baby Jesus, but the kids went a little nuts with the presents, and she sat down. I think next year we should prepare the children, so she can say her piece.

AJ, Venus and Brian were mobbing the presents so much, there was yelling back and forth, it was a bit too much for me, when the presents were opened. William got a present he liked, shapes that go into a board. He's enjoyed that one when he was being evaluated. He got cars, and a semi truck that holds cars. William and Andrew got all kinds of clothes. His great grandparents gave them some nice clothes, one of the pajamas glows in the dark. Venus got a cell phone for emergencies, and she was very excited. Everyone enjoyed the ball pit that Josephine sent over. Everyone wanted to play with Andrew's lay on your back and swat at things toy. We couldn't get the kids to stop, so we finally took up Andrew and let them play with it, until they got tired of it.

William got an activity center, and a big truck. I gave him some books, one of which I can not find. I gave everyone a calendar with photos of William, Andrew, Virginia and Aida, the godmother. I forgot that Harry might not appreciate that, but after some jokes he was gracious. I gave the women English readers Barbara Lewis Marco's The Little Book of Courage, a sweet little book. I gave everyone at work that too. I've got some more to give out too. I gave Diana tickets to see Avenue Q on Broadway. Brian liked his Mets jersey, and light saber, but the kids were left wanting more, and kept hovering around the presents, looking for more. Someone said, "one present at a time," but that rule did not hold for one second. I got many nice things, of which I am very thankful for. We watched Serenity the next day, a DVD Diana got me, and we all enjoyed that, though Diana took William away when it got violent. I hope everyone is happy with their presents. I was mostly focused on William. I think Andrew liked being held, he's never been held so much, he's usually put down occasionally. Alba was holding him a lot.

So Christmas Day, was nice. Harry and his brood slept over. Later Aida and Natasia came over, and we had a second Christmas. Natasia has a special place in my heart, and it was good to see her and Aida. Kay La is down in Florida with her sister. Lots of presents left for the people who were not there.

I had to work the 26th, but it was a quick ride in, and we got off early. I got home, excited to see my boys, Diana, everyone, and they were out shopping. So I have some time to read the paper and blog.

I had a real swelling up of holiday spirit, very positive emotions this year. I called all my buddhist friends, and the godfathers. I'm in the process of calling family now. I had a very nice conversation with Grandma in Georgia. I feel very lucky, I have such a rich life. I wish everyone happy holidays.

The irony, is that the nearest Buddhist holiday is Bodhi Day on the 19th, celebrated by the Zen tradition. I enjoy other's positive emotions and happiness. Because it means so much to people, there is a great atmosphere, and being around Diana's family is very comfortable now, I enjoy their company. I think William and Andrew make this time special, having children. It's been a good weekend.

356. Seven new teeth!

Diana says she noticed 7 new teeth today in William. Pop.

William said "Daddy", trying to get him to talk to me on the phone, and he went to the door expectant. That's usually when she says "Daddy".

William says "more" for bubbles, the speech therapist taught him that, maybe. She suggests I have a little story book about going home, to help him with the transition. He's been throwing tantrums when he comes home.

We got a present from Celeste, Steve and Katie last night. Tonight we got ones from Zane and Bridget, Kathy and Rich, and Ginger. Yeeha! We're off to New Jersey when Diana and Virginia get back from shopping. William has temporarily fallen asleep, which gives me the freedom to write this.

Happy holidays to everyone! I'm very excited to share this holiday with my two fine boys. William did not tear apart a gift we opened, but he did help me to rip it. I think this is going to be a learning Christmas for him. It's not really my holiday but I'm happy for everyone else, and I get caught up in the positive emotions and giving.

355. Transit Strike

NYC has a transit strike. The thing I noticed on my commute was there was an odd back up at Northern Blvd., where there usually is not one. But the strike really hit home, when I called Alyssa to see if she wanted to meet for diner before sangha night, and she said, "are you crazy, sangha night is canceled." Opse. Harry and Angie are working more with the stike, so Emma, Venus and AJ we sent to Abuela and Abuelo's house to be taken care of. That put a wringer into my night, it's very stressful for me to be listening to Emma crying on top of William and Andrew. Aida and Natasia didn't come over to visit, as promised this week, probably because of the strike, and we still have the inflatable bed out for them, from when they slept over Sunday night. But I did get to meditate, and then went over to Abuela's. I brought William home, and he got angry coming in. Diana says he wants to spend more time outdoors in the cold weather, but we also get into fights about how much to protect him from the cold. I don't want to put the plastic thing over his stroller. He shook my gloves off, preferring bare hands. He's fallen asleep around 10 pm both nights, which has been wonderful. So while Diana and I were not really effected in our commute, the effects spilled over onto others, and that effected us.

I'm getting William 8 matchbox cars, and 5 books. I figure Andrew will get some benefit out of them, too. We got a package from Gretchen today. We got something from Di and Wes in New Mexico. Grandma and Grandpa Parks sent some presents. We're waiting to open thing up Christmas Eve. It's all very exciting.

I'm just starting to read Raising A Sensory Smart Child by Biel and Peske. which they recommended for us to read for William.

Andrew seems to be growing and growing. He's huge, so adorable. William seems to be losing the toddler baby looks, he's more of a little boy now. William is so sweet and wonderful. I love them both very much.

354. Family

It's been a tough two weeks, with Diana going back to work. Taking William over in the morning is an added difficulty, and I'm often taking them home. William cries as he's handed over, which is heart breaking, and he doesn't like coming home either, he fights that. Diana has been surviving on almost no sleep, and I've gotten sick with the cough that William has. Diana's work, cut her off from health insurance, in a mistake. They have made other mistakes, which to me indicate that the board of education is not family friendly. The principle of her school is not family friendly. Both of those statements sound bizarre, but they are true.

There was an article in the times about buying electronic gadgets for children under three, that has made me more anxious about all the time William spends watching DVDs. The evaluation made me feel ignorant, that I had not been more in tune with teaching my son commands and supporting his language development more. I suppose you live and learn. I'm a little negative due to lack of sleep. I'm not sure how Diana does it and keep a positive attitude.

As hard and impossible as it all is, William and Andrew are cute and lovely. And will coo at you for hours. William is saying more and more words, running, giving his brother toys to play with. Poor William has been under the weather a little bit lately. They asked me to work another day at work, and I turned them down. I'll work a little extra in the evening if needed, but weekends are sacred, they are for my family.

353. Evaluation

We met for the formal evaluation today. He's going to get some speech services, which can't hurt him, will teach us, and can help to monitor him for other developments and needs. They recommended some books on sensory integration, that I'll be reading soon. I'm hopeful and upbeat. They say they can't predict anything based on what they see now. Twice a week, for 30 minutes, in our home.

352. Ceremony

We had a wonderful naming ceremony. Vajramati presided again. I haven't seen Linda in a while. Cliff came, but Vava was busy and came later. Trebor came with Jen. Sita brought Carol, who is in town hawking Windhorse books. Nice to meet her, and that she would join in. Seth came; I was too tired to go to his party unfortunately. Jamie came! Haven't seen him in ages. Alyssa held Andrew/Santikara the most. Harry, Victor, Janet, AJ, Venus, Natasia, Emma, Aida, Virginia, Abuela were also there. Twenty people! Nice healthy grub afterwards. Cliff and Vava stayed a while to hang out. I'm so touched that so many people made it out. Sita, Cliff, Harry, Victor and Abuela came to both ceremonies. And Vajramati too, he presided well over the happenings. He has much merit. Trebor took some video, you can see it at:

http://ia300231.us.archive.org/0/items/santi_kara_naming_ceremony/VCLP0114.MP4

351. Santikara

http://www2.bremen.de/info/nepal/Gallery-2/Ngor/6-18/NM-118-1.htm

The link is for the mandala of Santikara, which is Andrew's Buddhist name, for tomorrow's ceremony.

350. Freakenomics

Diana took William off for a retest of his hearing, because he was sick last time. They say nothing is wrong with his hearing.

Poor Andrew has a fever from the shots last night, and has been crying a lot. Diana ended up taking him back to the doctor for antibiotics, he's had a bad reaction to his inoculations.

The doctor gave him antibiotics and he's doing OK. Diana left him with me, to go get William, and we had some good times together. He didn't have a bad night, he seems to be OK. Cute as ever.

Abuela has a doctor's appointment, so no afternoon off. Janet is going to come over and learn where we are, and learn the public transportation routes. She's been getting rides from Victor.

I'm enjoying reading Freakenomics (thank you aunt di!). It has a lot about parenting. Nagabodhi has suggested that I try and write a FWBO parenting book, which is quite daunting, but an interesting idea. I might take a run at it, but not sure it will come to complete fruition.

My back is feeling better. Figures it's my last day off. It's been a wonderful time with the boys. Can't say I've spent more time with Diana even though we've been in the same room. We need to get alone.

349. Janet

Andrew weighs 15 lbs, is 24 inches long, and his head is 42 cm. A wacky mixture of measuring units, right? The doctor gave him 4 shots, and he had a fitful night with fever. William's flu shot booster was not in stock, so we have to take him back. We got our flu shot though, he had 2 adult doses.

William's throwing away garbage and diapers is not so specific and he's been throwing away other things. I don't mind the crayons, we can fish them out or just buy some new ones, but I hope he doesn't throw away something valuable and we don't notice. He doesn't yet have the concept of "trash" but he does like the approval we give him when he throws away a diaper.

Diana said Janet did well. We're probably going to pay her $250 a week to work from noon till 5:30. Harry is going to kick in some money because Emma is there often. Janet is Victor's wife, and she's from Columbia. She's learning English so she can return to her profession as a dentist. She's passed the exam, she just needs to take an oral exam in English. Maybe William will be going to preschool next year.

Diana is going over again today to help them transition for next week. I'm going to take the precious time to clean, read and nap. My back has ruined my plans to take William to museums all week. I need to take my car in too, some trouble starting and maybe I need shocks. My back only feels slightly better than it did Monday. Ugh. I hate it.