Thank You

Thank you to Virginia, Tim and Sebastian for their kindness in hosting Andres' big birthday bash at that place. So many pitched in and worked hard, so many people came and everyone had a wonderful time. We're all so proud of how wonderful Andres is. Hooray for Andres!

Rainy Day

photo with mom

party photo

Promised videos

Three

Andres turned 3 yesterday. I'll upload some old videos of him as a baby when I can get around to it. We watched a bunch of old videos of him to celebrate his upcoming birthday. When he woke up we gave him Abuela's presents. She got him some new Diego shoes, and some clothes. She got him balloons for his party at school. Andres likes Diego. He had a party at school with cup cakes. We got to hang out with his class and teachers. Another kid was going to have surgery so he celebrated his birthday on the same day. Poor kid kept asking his mother for a hug. Perhaps he sensed her anxiety about his surgery. William came up to the class to join us and was a bit of a wild boy and Abuela came too. William has a male teacher who seems calm and competent aware assistants who were calm too. One of William's classmates had a birthday too. We'll have to arrange a play date with him, the father asked for one. After school we went to the park and played for a while. Some of their classmates were there. One of Andres' classmates was there, but he didn't play with him, despite my prodding him to. Diana talks to a woman with two little children, who seems overwhelmed. We came home and opened Andres' presents and then played with them. I had to go to class, but later that night a bunch of people came over for more birthday party for William, with Grandpa, Aida, Natasia and her friend's children that we hang out with, plus Tia Alba. I hope he had a good day. We got a card from Great Grandpa & Grandma Parks, and Grandpa Zane and Bridget (that sang out when you opened it).

I want to be first

The many cartoons and TV shows for children are a huge abundance of wisdom. They seem to know what the children are going through. William was first infected with the idea that he wanted to be "first".

William got this from school, but he's been working through this for a year. Of course his brother has caught this, and he's maybe started on it earlier, and he's caught in it now at the moment. Andrew was crying when he came home yesterday from the movies. He wanted to be first, but he wasn't.

They saw Igor. Diana and Aida said the main theme wasn't one kids could get. They said 10 year old Natasia didn't get it. It was more for adults. The theme was that people aren't bad, that they've had trauma and that is what makes them bad.

So, I've seen on a show the theme, "you can't always be first," theme, and the new Thomas The Tank Engine has that issue at the beginning.

William is nice, when his brother screams because he wants to be first, usually William obliges his brother, but sometimes he doesn't and that is problematic for Andrew. I hope he's getting the "optimal frustration" Kohut speaks of.

"I want Grandma Kathy"

24 days to Grandma Kathy and Grandpa Rich's visit. William cried when I traced out the number of days on the calender. He says he wants trains--he still remembers which ones he doesn't have and plays with Thomas The Tank Engine trains. Unfortunately with me being between jobs we can't go out and just get him one to soothe him. He says he wants scary books, and not scary books. William is angry at me for delivering the news that Grandma Kathy isn't coming.

I think William is struggling because we're focusing on Andres in potty training. We need to operationalize some desired behaviors so we can have an excuse for rewarding him. I think that's what this is all about. I have been smooth in the transition. There are things we're working on.

I enjoy watching the boys run at the park. I like pushing William on the swing. I love it when people say that William is good with people. Andres is having trouble sharing at times, which hinders the ease of getting along with others at the park. Our maxim is "if you bring it to the park, you have to share it." Andres didn't like sharing his chalk, even though there is plenty. Andres is better at playing catch, William hasn't gotten into that, though he does like to toss the ball sometimes.

I have lots of photos on Facebook of our trips to the park.

Yesterday they somehow took 4 roofs off the jungle gym.

William had a good day yesterday following directions, his teacher said so. We were so proud of him. Andrew is separating well. Good stuff!

#2 photo autoshoot

found camera timer to take photos

William is being a T-Rex, which explains his face. He likes to be a T-Rex. Often people don't get it that he's acting, which is a shame. T-Rex isn't exactly what you want in socializing. Anger and aggression is OK in the T-Rex, so we accept it, but unfortunately the rest of the world doesn't so much.

feeding children

Go here for an excellent article on feeding children.

Here's a quote: "Fussiness about food is a normal part of a child’s development. Young children are naturally neophobic — they have a distrust of the new. Even the most determined parents can be cowed by a child’s resolve to eat nothing rather than try something new. As a result, parents often give in, deciding that a bowl of Cocoa Puffs or a Pop-Tart, while not ideal, must be better than no food at all."

Paul's wedding album of friend's photos

Go here. They have been touched up by Bill, so they're all excellent photos.

Sebatian

Sebiastian walks like Moglie in Jungle Book. It's at the end of this video.

photo links

Photo of boys standing at the window, waving goodbye to me when I went to see a friend.

day 5

Diana stayed home, I walked them, and Andres insisted we drop off William first. But then he went into the class without crying. He seemed upset, but he kept it together. So he's adjusted, on the level of not crying. He's happy at the end of the day, all 4 days so far.

Bouncing Balls

Andrew is into the game Bouncing Balls.

3rd day

Andes still has trouble separating. Friday is pizza day, so we don't have to pack lunches. Rather, Diana doesn't have to, I can't lie about my packing lunches thus far this week, because I have focused on other things, like toileting.

I think being a single parent would be really hard, but one thing would be that the communication and collaboration wouldn't take up much time, there's just one vision. When it comes to getting to boys of to school smoothly, I have done it, before Andres came along, with just William. Two boys complicate things.

Diana had to run up to Union Turnpike to get Natasia this morning, because she threw up. We were supposed to not baby sit Ashton any more, Diana gave two weeks notice, but somehow we are. I think Diana's connection to her family is nice. Limit setting is a weakness of my own. Ashton is a sweet baby.

Anyway, I get easily overwhelmed by parenting, and was glad when I was walking out with the boys plus Ashton, that Diana came along with Natasia.

Andres was more weepy this morning, perhaps because she went out and didn't walk with us. He asked to be carried, which I did for little bits, but not as much as he wanted. He wanted to drop William off before he went in. Then he wanted me to stay. He couldn't take a picture, he wanted to cling. So we had to have a difficult goodbye with force to pry him off me, and keep him with the assistant teacher.

I tried to get them to bed last night so they would be well rested, missed the end of the Giants game (they won). Diana has been putting the boys to bed, but I put them to bed last night. Except after William fell asleep Andres asked for his mommy and she came in after Aida and Natasia left. I read to them, and sang to them. I know William has had enough sleep when he wakes up at 7am on his own. Andres slept till 7:40, and we try to leave for school at 8:15, getting there by 8:30. Diana ironed their clothes, picked them out. Because it's the first week of school, I'm letting William watch a dinosaur show before he goes.

You may have noticed I'm around for this. I'm between jobs, which is a blessing this week, though I hope to get a job soon. The boys like me being around, and I like being around them, even if sometimes I get overwhelmed and need some private time. Setting limits isn't always easy for me, and I go from being hyper responsible to abdicating responsibility easily. I have difficulty with this middle ground, being the powerful helper I aspire to.

There may be some increased blogging during this time.

2nd day

Andres had to be pried away from his mother, and we left under protest by him. William was excited to go to school. I liked his attitude when he said, "today is going to be a good day." Andres is excited too, but still adjusting. His teacher said he was quiet yesterday. William's teacher says he cries when he doesn't get his way, then bosted, "he will get over that because I don't give in to crying." Looks like an interesting battle of the wills. I don't think we give in to his crying, but I do like to support people emotionally. And sometimes that clarifies things, and we go ahead with something new.

Andres' new teacher

William's new teacher

on their way to school

1st day of school

We just dropped Andres and William off at school.

William is old hat, but he's got a new teacher, and some of his classmates from the previous class are in his class. His room is huge and he's excited about a train table. His teacher is a disciplinarian, which hopefully will be good for William.

We introduced Andres to his classroom, and then brought him along to say goodbye to William, and then brought him back. I watched several goodbye scenes. All but one kid cried when the parents left. Andres went into the pack with Mommy, and then he said she could leave. I was summoned. I read to him a little bit.

I was the last parent, so there was pressure to make me leave. So I made the decision when he wasn't paying attention to the book I was reading. They seemed like good people, the staff. I know Andres is going to do well in school. One mother kept telling her son not to feel the way he clearly felt. There's a kid who'll need psychotherapy at some point. He'll wonder why he is ashamed of his feelings, wonder why he often doesn't know what he's feeling.

Diana was was so sad. I think her feelings are essential, that's her passion for the boys, no need to apologize. She's sad to see her babies go to school. Now they are pre-K kids, no longer babies and infants. It's that very sadness and overwhelming feelings that make her such a good mother. Feelings pass. She will be a great mother of school age kids.

I feel excited. I know Andres will do well. William is already adjusted to school they are going to be so excited to tell me what happened today. Andres will tell me the naughty behaviors of other kids, who accidentally bumped into him, what the teacher said when someone was in trouble. William will tell me about the train table, and what Lola and Brianna did. Those girls are wild. Cool stuff, I can't wait.

Pictures to follow.

awestruck or bored?

American Falls

Andrew profile

W and falls