William and Andrew's father went on a rafting trip down the Colorado in Marble and Grand Canyon with his 4 cousins. I missed my boys, but I hope when they're older than 8, we do something similar. It was wonderful being with Will, Kate, Josh and Bart! Plus seeing aunts and uncles. I had an ache in the pit of my stomach about being away from my boys, from Diana, but it was a wonderful trip.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
such sweet sorrow
Why do I have to leave for a week to relish every second with the boys? Why is it on this morning that I don't mind not being able to wake up because Andrew woke up early? Why do I have more patience and flexibility? Why do I have a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach at leaving them? I'm off for a cousin's reunion that is also a boat trip down the Colorado in the Grand Canyon. Back next Wed. Call Diana to support her through this solo effort.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Another father's blog, and more
My friend Cliff pointed out this cool blog by a father, who father's a little girl.
That led me to another cool blog, of a gay man with a 4 year old! Cool!
A creative dad writes another blog. He's got the biggest list of father's blogs I've ever seen!
And a woman with Bipolar II, among other things, with 2 children.
Also a fellow in LA, and there's a collective Blogfathers.
Then there's Clair's Dad.
That led me to another cool blog, of a gay man with a 4 year old! Cool!
A creative dad writes another blog. He's got the biggest list of father's blogs I've ever seen!
And a woman with Bipolar II, among other things, with 2 children.
Also a fellow in LA, and there's a collective Blogfathers.
Then there's Clair's Dad.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Precious boys
Last Friday the boys were banging at the window when I came home. William sometimes is absorbed in the TV, but generally I get the most heart warming greeting when I come home. Andrew saw my car pull into the parking lot, and waited for me to come out. He recognizes the car.
William’s speech therapist is really impressed with his development. The other day he said, “I don’t know.” I thought that was great! Sometimes he gets lost, though. He was telling me he was going to apologize to mommy for making a mess and then went out there and apologized for “TV”. Opse. What happened there.
Andrew continues to say new words too, his articulation is better.
William fell asleep on the floor. One night I forgot to put him in his bed, and he slept the night on the floor. Opse. That’s on daddy, Diana told Virginia that story in horror the other day. These things happen. We try our best. At this moment I’m feeling more confident and in charge. Tolerating the ambivalence of not knowing what to do, being in the squishy place of new behaviors challenging me. I am really working on controlling myself, not flipping out, losing my cool. The boys see me as the monsters, and even today Andrew was saying “daddy” when the mean dinosaurs came onto the TV this morning. I want to be the wise octopus or the wise dinosaur, but they say that’s mommy. I wanted to get into a thing with William about how when he says he’s Thomas, we don’t give him a hard time, but I felt like it would be lost on him. I think it’s a challenge to be developmentally appropriate.
William’s speech therapist is really impressed with his development. The other day he said, “I don’t know.” I thought that was great! Sometimes he gets lost, though. He was telling me he was going to apologize to mommy for making a mess and then went out there and apologized for “TV”. Opse. What happened there.
Andrew continues to say new words too, his articulation is better.
William fell asleep on the floor. One night I forgot to put him in his bed, and he slept the night on the floor. Opse. That’s on daddy, Diana told Virginia that story in horror the other day. These things happen. We try our best. At this moment I’m feeling more confident and in charge. Tolerating the ambivalence of not knowing what to do, being in the squishy place of new behaviors challenging me. I am really working on controlling myself, not flipping out, losing my cool. The boys see me as the monsters, and even today Andrew was saying “daddy” when the mean dinosaurs came onto the TV this morning. I want to be the wise octopus or the wise dinosaur, but they say that’s mommy. I wanted to get into a thing with William about how when he says he’s Thomas, we don’t give him a hard time, but I felt like it would be lost on him. I think it’s a challenge to be developmentally appropriate.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Lucky
Andrew burnt his hand on the glass of the fire place at Virginia’s house (not a real log fire place, it’s gas) a while ago. Now he says, “Hot?!” I think meaning hot, but also danger. He’s not really gotten the hang of opposites. He says “down” for “up”. This morning he said “wet”. I have to listen closely, otherwise I wouldn’t have heard “wet”, and maybe I’m just inserting the closest word to make sense.
I’m reading a book on parenting written by a Buddhist called A Path for Parents by Sara Burns who’s ordained name is Karunagita. I suppose she has her own reasons for not using Karunagita, perhaps to appeal to a wider audience, she hope it’s read beyond Buddhists.
Seems like a good book so far. I haven’t read any Buddhist parenting books yet, I wanted my first to be a FWBO book. Now I’m ready for the other books on Buddhism. There are 3 others I find on line, and I’m sure there are more. Amazon has a way of hiding some books. I’ve typed in close but not exactly a title, and not even gotten the book on the list, when obviously it should have been somewhere on the list. It definitely slants towards more popular books, bigger selling books.
The past two nights I’ve gotten home late. Tuesday is sangha (spiritual community) night. I helped Sita take Savanna’s cast off futon frame up to her place. So I got home very late, and the boys were still up. Wednesday was my birthday and I got tickets to Moon for Misbegotten (which was amazing by the way, I didn’t think the reviews were kind enough). The boys were already asleep when we got home. Thank you to Aida, Natasia, Virginia and Tim for your support in watching the boys. Thank you to all those who called me, sent cards, sent text messages, sent gifts on my birthday. I feel very lucky, blessed, and grateful.
When my boys woke up this morning, I felt very lucky to see their darling faces. William woke up first. He asked to see Rainbow Fish, which is one of my favorite videos that we inherited from Abuela and Natasia. He was very cuddly, sweet. He pinches your arms and ear lobes. Then Andrew woke up. He’s a cutie pie, with much sweetness. Soon enough they were fighting over puzzles (I think they’re going to be visually smart like their mother and father) and which room I’m in. Andrew likes the bedroom and William likes the living room. All too quickly it was time to take a shower and reliable, smart and dedicated Paquita was there. The amount of people that go into our lives, that support the family is truly amazing. The boys are precious. I’ve begun to get a knot in my stomach about leaving on Wednesday for a family reunion in the Grand Canyon.
I’m reading a book on parenting written by a Buddhist called A Path for Parents by Sara Burns who’s ordained name is Karunagita. I suppose she has her own reasons for not using Karunagita, perhaps to appeal to a wider audience, she hope it’s read beyond Buddhists.
Seems like a good book so far. I haven’t read any Buddhist parenting books yet, I wanted my first to be a FWBO book. Now I’m ready for the other books on Buddhism. There are 3 others I find on line, and I’m sure there are more. Amazon has a way of hiding some books. I’ve typed in close but not exactly a title, and not even gotten the book on the list, when obviously it should have been somewhere on the list. It definitely slants towards more popular books, bigger selling books.
The past two nights I’ve gotten home late. Tuesday is sangha (spiritual community) night. I helped Sita take Savanna’s cast off futon frame up to her place. So I got home very late, and the boys were still up. Wednesday was my birthday and I got tickets to Moon for Misbegotten (which was amazing by the way, I didn’t think the reviews were kind enough). The boys were already asleep when we got home. Thank you to Aida, Natasia, Virginia and Tim for your support in watching the boys. Thank you to all those who called me, sent cards, sent text messages, sent gifts on my birthday. I feel very lucky, blessed, and grateful.
When my boys woke up this morning, I felt very lucky to see their darling faces. William woke up first. He asked to see Rainbow Fish, which is one of my favorite videos that we inherited from Abuela and Natasia. He was very cuddly, sweet. He pinches your arms and ear lobes. Then Andrew woke up. He’s a cutie pie, with much sweetness. Soon enough they were fighting over puzzles (I think they’re going to be visually smart like their mother and father) and which room I’m in. Andrew likes the bedroom and William likes the living room. All too quickly it was time to take a shower and reliable, smart and dedicated Paquita was there. The amount of people that go into our lives, that support the family is truly amazing. The boys are precious. I’ve begun to get a knot in my stomach about leaving on Wednesday for a family reunion in the Grand Canyon.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Monday, May 14, 2007
Internecine
Internecine is how William and Andrew relate to each other at times. They ventilate their anger towards mother or father or world (mother and father at this point), at each other at times to the mutual detriment of each other.
When we get home, there’s a period of feelings of overwhelmedness as anger, relief, excitement well up in them. At times that have tantrums about their unrealistic expectations of mother and father.
All children suffer from their expectations being crushed. Andrew wants daddy and mommy never to go to the bathroom, to close the door, to have needs beyond him. But he does recover quickly. He speaks up and has learned how to hit back. He makes people pay attention to him. He’s the younger brother and I think he’s overlooked sometimes because of his lack of language.
William has already developed an aggrieved distortion where he assumes he can’t get what he wants, before he’s denied it.
William takes a leadership role, but he’s not really nuanced enough to completely comprehend and doesn’t have all the tools of persuasion yet. He does nod his head “yes” which is a technique I read somewhere. The more you nod the more likely people will be in agreement, regardless of the content, but it’s not magic.
The boys can be doughty (\DOW-tee\, adjective, marked by fearless resolution; valiant; brave). I find myself promoting the “I think I can” attitude at time. I like the teaching aspect of parenting, though I get confused about what to teach beyond what is obvious to me in the moment, at times.
When we get home, there’s a period of feelings of overwhelmedness as anger, relief, excitement well up in them. At times that have tantrums about their unrealistic expectations of mother and father.
All children suffer from their expectations being crushed. Andrew wants daddy and mommy never to go to the bathroom, to close the door, to have needs beyond him. But he does recover quickly. He speaks up and has learned how to hit back. He makes people pay attention to him. He’s the younger brother and I think he’s overlooked sometimes because of his lack of language.
William has already developed an aggrieved distortion where he assumes he can’t get what he wants, before he’s denied it.
William takes a leadership role, but he’s not really nuanced enough to completely comprehend and doesn’t have all the tools of persuasion yet. He does nod his head “yes” which is a technique I read somewhere. The more you nod the more likely people will be in agreement, regardless of the content, but it’s not magic.
The boys can be doughty (\DOW-tee\, adjective, marked by fearless resolution; valiant; brave). I find myself promoting the “I think I can” attitude at time. I like the teaching aspect of parenting, though I get confused about what to teach beyond what is obvious to me in the moment, at times.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Vleigh Park
I took the boys to the park last night. Diana said there were some mean kids the other day, but there was a nice Romania-American boy who played with his trains. Later William was kind to a little 9 month year old Israeli-American girl, giving her his coveted Thomas The Tank Engine train to play with. I love the diversity of our park.
Andrew had a doctor's appointment. He's growing well, he got two shots. They couldn't tell if they did an eye test wrong or not, but they referred him to an ophthalmologist.
There's a touching story of a NBA basketball player putting his daughter first in the New York Times.
Andrew had a doctor's appointment. He's growing well, he got two shots. They couldn't tell if they did an eye test wrong or not, but they referred him to an ophthalmologist.
There's a touching story of a NBA basketball player putting his daughter first in the New York Times.
Monday, May 07, 2007
iam
Andrew calls William "iam" the last bit of his name, /eeam/. It's very cute. They went to Seth's birthday party and Brian's christening yesterday. Diana sent me a photo of some good that took a shine to William and visa versa. I was off meditating, chanting and talking the dharma. I yearn to have more of that, but when I'm away from the boys, I yearn to be with them.
William has been into the movie Balto. Balto is a half breed, and he is bothered by Steele the lead dog. Slurs and jokes are made about his parentage. But in the end, he uses his identity as part wolf to get the antitoxin to save the little girl, and win the heart of Jenna. In a way it's a tale about minority status with racial slurs and prejudice, which is ironic in the wildnerness instead of an urban setting, though maybe not.
He also likes Tarzan which is similar but different. Tarzan is raised by gorillas but when humans come and he realizes he's a human, he betrays the gorillas to let his new love Jane meet them. Greed and avaraice play a part in other's trying to exploit the situation and Clayton is the evil man who tries to kidnap gorillas. Similar but a more complex twisting ending, than Balto which is more clearly black and white.
The minute I suggested to Diana that William wouldn't learn to clean up until he was potty trained, he began to learn to clean up his lego. We make it one thing out at a time, excluding trains and cars, though those sometimes have to be corralled. He's got some wooden tracks, some plastic tracks and lego, and they have to be cleaned up to get to the next one. William said, "put the tracks over there." He's got creative solutions when he wants it, but the rule is put one away before you get out the other one.
School has begun to captivate William's imagination. I don't know if he knows what September is, but that's when he's going.
The boys fight. It disturbs me, but I'm beginning to see it more as my problem. Of course we put them in time out and separate them, intervene some times, but sometimes let it go in the hopes that they will work it out. Neither course is yielding immediate results. It disturbs me. The hit, push, throw things. Very disturbing, but I'm afriad normal. I feel impatient in getting them to stop. I have not succeeded yet, and I think it's not abnormal. We'll keep working on it.
William has been into the movie Balto. Balto is a half breed, and he is bothered by Steele the lead dog. Slurs and jokes are made about his parentage. But in the end, he uses his identity as part wolf to get the antitoxin to save the little girl, and win the heart of Jenna. In a way it's a tale about minority status with racial slurs and prejudice, which is ironic in the wildnerness instead of an urban setting, though maybe not.
He also likes Tarzan which is similar but different. Tarzan is raised by gorillas but when humans come and he realizes he's a human, he betrays the gorillas to let his new love Jane meet them. Greed and avaraice play a part in other's trying to exploit the situation and Clayton is the evil man who tries to kidnap gorillas. Similar but a more complex twisting ending, than Balto which is more clearly black and white.
The minute I suggested to Diana that William wouldn't learn to clean up until he was potty trained, he began to learn to clean up his lego. We make it one thing out at a time, excluding trains and cars, though those sometimes have to be corralled. He's got some wooden tracks, some plastic tracks and lego, and they have to be cleaned up to get to the next one. William said, "put the tracks over there." He's got creative solutions when he wants it, but the rule is put one away before you get out the other one.
School has begun to captivate William's imagination. I don't know if he knows what September is, but that's when he's going.
The boys fight. It disturbs me, but I'm beginning to see it more as my problem. Of course we put them in time out and separate them, intervene some times, but sometimes let it go in the hopes that they will work it out. Neither course is yielding immediate results. It disturbs me. The hit, push, throw things. Very disturbing, but I'm afriad normal. I feel impatient in getting them to stop. I have not succeeded yet, and I think it's not abnormal. We'll keep working on it.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
comercial free
There's a campaign for a commercial free childhood. I like the idea, but it's too late for my children. I work to contain. William dearly loves the TV and while I worry about that, he's also vital and alive, and he's taken us turning off the TV better. We initially tried to get him into it to give us a break, but it grew into a monster. Andrew is not so much into the TV, which I actually like. He's always pulling me into his bedroom. I love my 7-9am time with the boys.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
