It was lovely to see Gretchen on Saturday night, and Virginia and Tim. Gretchen is so funny, I think she could be a comedian if she wanted to be. She was very sweet with the boys too.
Sunday was a bit difficult. I have troubles taking care of two children sometimes, and I lose my equanimity. William keeps waking Andrew up, and I'm only trying to put him to sleep so I can have more time for William.
When I came home on Monday night, late, they both are very excited to see me, and they seem to be just the cutest boys in the world.
Grunty of course woke me up early. I'm looking forward to Day Light Savings Time changing, so the sun gets up later.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Thursday, March 23, 2006
375. The Mundane
My aunt Di said, "I don't read the blog, I have a life. You write about the mundane, he burped, he did this, he did that." She said that after I pointed out she would know that Virginia was married if she read the blog. She said, "you can send something more than photos!" She said her blog would be equally uninteresting.
They brought dinner, came out to us in the boondocks of Queens, and brought presents for Andrew and William. Will and Bart played a lot with William, they had him laughing up a storm.
William says, "turn," and, "thank you clearly."
They brought dinner, came out to us in the boondocks of Queens, and brought presents for Andrew and William. Will and Bart played a lot with William, they had him laughing up a storm.
William says, "turn," and, "thank you clearly."
374. Andrew is 6 months!
Andrew is 6 months today, 15 plus if you count it from conception, which we estimate somewhere around New Year. He's a sweet lovable adorable little baby. Virginia stopped by on her way home from somewhere or other. I got some good pictures of her holding both the boys.
I had Emma and William in my lap reading before Angie came. I feel really lucky that William has Emma to bounce off of, play with, fight with and ignore. When he got a little rough with her, I said, "kiss" and he tries to kiss her, and be sweet. He's really quite adorable. William's dancing has become more sophisticated and varied, but he got shy dancing for Virginia.
Andrew woke up at 7 this morning. I fed him (too much it turns out) and he puked up a little bit. I sat him down and tried to meditate, but you need to occasionally feed him new toys to play with and examine, and he occasionally leans over and loses his position.
William is so much for me, and Andrew was so much on top of that. I didn't get to spend 6 months not working with him, which feels unfair somehow. But I think he has a wonderful spirit so far, and I'm just so curious to see what kind of person he turns out to be, and how he and William develop their sibling relationship. Life is very rich.
I had Emma and William in my lap reading before Angie came. I feel really lucky that William has Emma to bounce off of, play with, fight with and ignore. When he got a little rough with her, I said, "kiss" and he tries to kiss her, and be sweet. He's really quite adorable. William's dancing has become more sophisticated and varied, but he got shy dancing for Virginia.
Andrew woke up at 7 this morning. I fed him (too much it turns out) and he puked up a little bit. I sat him down and tried to meditate, but you need to occasionally feed him new toys to play with and examine, and he occasionally leans over and loses his position.
William is so much for me, and Andrew was so much on top of that. I didn't get to spend 6 months not working with him, which feels unfair somehow. But I think he has a wonderful spirit so far, and I'm just so curious to see what kind of person he turns out to be, and how he and William develop their sibling relationship. Life is very rich.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
373. Shush Baby
William cried when his little pancake broke. Diana reports he cried when his animal cracker broke.
Andrew requires more attention, he's ability to move himself does not match his ability to keep himself safe or hurt himself. I leaned away for a second and he toppled over and hit his face on the edge of William's bed.
Yesterday they went to Evan's birthday. I took the opportunity to take a 6 hour nap. They fell asleep, but Diana had homework to do. She woke up early and I asked her if she wanted to breast feed Andrew, to relieve the pressure of the night's buildup. She had to do homework, she says it didn't hurt. I think she's producing less milk. William got 8 months, Andrew is almost 6 month, I suppose the taper to no more breast has begun. Diana reports that the other day he was not so insistent about breast milk.
Andrew woke up at 7. There was a while when they were both crying and insisting to be held, and yet William would not be held with Andrew in my arms. Andrew finally fell asleep, with William not helping. In Piggle, Winnicott's book on a child psychotherapy, the little girl called her younger sibling, "the shush baby". I sometimes shush William because of his brother.
Andrew requires more attention, he's ability to move himself does not match his ability to keep himself safe or hurt himself. I leaned away for a second and he toppled over and hit his face on the edge of William's bed.
Yesterday they went to Evan's birthday. I took the opportunity to take a 6 hour nap. They fell asleep, but Diana had homework to do. She woke up early and I asked her if she wanted to breast feed Andrew, to relieve the pressure of the night's buildup. She had to do homework, she says it didn't hurt. I think she's producing less milk. William got 8 months, Andrew is almost 6 month, I suppose the taper to no more breast has begun. Diana reports that the other day he was not so insistent about breast milk.
Andrew woke up at 7. There was a while when they were both crying and insisting to be held, and yet William would not be held with Andrew in my arms. Andrew finally fell asleep, with William not helping. In Piggle, Winnicott's book on a child psychotherapy, the little girl called her younger sibling, "the shush baby". I sometimes shush William because of his brother.
372. "Mine"
William likes to play chasing games. He won't share the blue crayon, and I chase him around for it. William likes to play Ernie to my Burt, dumping toys out, and I get all upset and want to put them away.
William has developed his own vocabulary. "Ew" is a kind of disgusted noise. "Da boom" is a kind of action sentence. "Nuh nuh" is a kind of pleading wanting, pay attention to me.
Tuesday Andrew went to bed early. Wednesday William went to bed early. Tonight I'm going to bed early. I'm exhausted. Diana turned her paper in, and it's been a hard week.
Last night I gave Grunty a bath, perhaps my first solo bath with him. The water was cold, so I made it short. I think his new nickname should be Grungy. Andrew is huge, he lunges at anything that catches his fancy.
Tuesday William was all set to get upset about me going to work, when Emma came over. He loves to play with her.
My meditation have been influenced by their irregular sleep patterns. Sometimes I get up to save Diana some sleep. Sometimes Andrew wakes up and I can feed him and get him back to bed, and sometimes like this morning, they were both up, and Diana contained them until I was finished. William related well to his brother. Diana put them in the crib and went to the bathroom, and I hear laughter. Diana took them to her mothers, and came home later and finished her paper. I held William in the sunshine, so he could get some vitamins in sunshine.
William said "mine!" in response to Emma's "mine!"
William has developed his own vocabulary. "Ew" is a kind of disgusted noise. "Da boom" is a kind of action sentence. "Nuh nuh" is a kind of pleading wanting, pay attention to me.
Tuesday Andrew went to bed early. Wednesday William went to bed early. Tonight I'm going to bed early. I'm exhausted. Diana turned her paper in, and it's been a hard week.
Last night I gave Grunty a bath, perhaps my first solo bath with him. The water was cold, so I made it short. I think his new nickname should be Grungy. Andrew is huge, he lunges at anything that catches his fancy.
Tuesday William was all set to get upset about me going to work, when Emma came over. He loves to play with her.
My meditation have been influenced by their irregular sleep patterns. Sometimes I get up to save Diana some sleep. Sometimes Andrew wakes up and I can feed him and get him back to bed, and sometimes like this morning, they were both up, and Diana contained them until I was finished. William related well to his brother. Diana put them in the crib and went to the bathroom, and I hear laughter. Diana took them to her mothers, and came home later and finished her paper. I held William in the sunshine, so he could get some vitamins in sunshine.
William said "mine!" in response to Emma's "mine!"
Sunday, March 12, 2006
371. The Door In The Floor
I got up with Andrew at 5:30 Friday morning. I usually get up at 6:30 for 30 minutes of reading and 40 minutes of meditation, and then get myself together for work. I feel more energy in the morning, I'm a morning person, and I see Diana and I splitting her into the evening and me into the morning, though I'm sure she would point out how often she ends up getting up in the morning too.
Thursday morning they were both awake when I set down to meditate (late because I overslept). William came out and was respectful, but I smiled and patted him to reassure him, and not freak him out. I wanted him to have a positive vibe from me meditating. I only got 20 minutes to sit, but I've actually been quite good at getting my morning dose of meditation, with Diana not working. I worry about September when she goes back to work, but I suppose I should just appreciate the now.
Saturday night Diana used my move--going to bed with William. I was up late with Andrew. In the morning I felt already spent when they both woke up, just as I was about to sit and meditate after Diana left. I had a rough morning with they boys, they took turns crying and sleeping and I wasn't as good as last weekend. I turned on the TV right away. Perhaps my tone of voice prompted Diana to call her parents, and they volunteered to come over and get the children, and I had them alone only for 6 hours. I think I could have made the whole time; I didn't ask her to do it. But I did suffer William's look of betrayal as I buckled him into the car seat and kissed him goodbye. He recovers pretty quickly, he's easily distracted, that's one good thing about a child's attention span.
I saw the movie The Door In The Floor. Like The Sweet Hereafter, the center of the story is the death of children, and the consequences that has on the parents, and the people the parents come in contact with. To say that these stories evoke, what's Aristotle's conception, catharsis, a powerful emotional response, is to understate the emotions it evokes in me. And yet, I'm a pretty risky driver still, impatient and needing the care to keep me awake and attentive; I really need to modify my driving style. That is why I like to talk on the phone in the car (with my hands free headphone), because it distracts me and I drive more safely.
It's all a dream, anyway, this life, and I know how the story ends: everyone dies. My paternal paternal great grandparents died, my maternal grandparents, an uncle, other relatives I hardly knew. There is an order that usually holds. And yet, there is no prevention of suffering, nothing to stop this loose pattern to not hold. Perhaps I should not watch such movies, but they sneak up on you. I turned on the TV while I had some soup, and that is what I caught. I suppose that serves me right for turning on the TV, again.
Thursday morning they were both awake when I set down to meditate (late because I overslept). William came out and was respectful, but I smiled and patted him to reassure him, and not freak him out. I wanted him to have a positive vibe from me meditating. I only got 20 minutes to sit, but I've actually been quite good at getting my morning dose of meditation, with Diana not working. I worry about September when she goes back to work, but I suppose I should just appreciate the now.
Saturday night Diana used my move--going to bed with William. I was up late with Andrew. In the morning I felt already spent when they both woke up, just as I was about to sit and meditate after Diana left. I had a rough morning with they boys, they took turns crying and sleeping and I wasn't as good as last weekend. I turned on the TV right away. Perhaps my tone of voice prompted Diana to call her parents, and they volunteered to come over and get the children, and I had them alone only for 6 hours. I think I could have made the whole time; I didn't ask her to do it. But I did suffer William's look of betrayal as I buckled him into the car seat and kissed him goodbye. He recovers pretty quickly, he's easily distracted, that's one good thing about a child's attention span.
I saw the movie The Door In The Floor. Like The Sweet Hereafter, the center of the story is the death of children, and the consequences that has on the parents, and the people the parents come in contact with. To say that these stories evoke, what's Aristotle's conception, catharsis, a powerful emotional response, is to understate the emotions it evokes in me. And yet, I'm a pretty risky driver still, impatient and needing the care to keep me awake and attentive; I really need to modify my driving style. That is why I like to talk on the phone in the car (with my hands free headphone), because it distracts me and I drive more safely.
It's all a dream, anyway, this life, and I know how the story ends: everyone dies. My paternal paternal great grandparents died, my maternal grandparents, an uncle, other relatives I hardly knew. There is an order that usually holds. And yet, there is no prevention of suffering, nothing to stop this loose pattern to not hold. Perhaps I should not watch such movies, but they sneak up on you. I turned on the TV while I had some soup, and that is what I caught. I suppose that serves me right for turning on the TV, again.
Friday, March 10, 2006
370. Go
Eric says to Andrew, "where do you want to go?" He wants to go everywhere. Andrew took William's spider man cup that his glamma gave him. They fought over it.
Eric's visit, Di is visiting in a few weeks, and Rich is coming right after that.
Diana gave William some peanut-butter. He liked it. Eric said, "he better like it or his career as an American boy is ruined, they'll have to ship him over to France."
Diana likes to shop, but she doesn't like to shop with me so much (which is fine with me). But I went to a big store to get some cases of formula today for the first time. I got William a book on noses, because he's always grabbing Andrew's nose and saying, "nose!" Virginia taught him "hair" the other weekend. I got some other stuff, that store is cunningly conceived.
Our African American neighbors have a 5 week old baby girl, they were taking her out in stroller when I was coming in. The mother said on the way out about my boxes of formula, and the store, "that's my favorite store now."
Thursday evening William was upset when I went out to dinner with Eric. This is my experience now, I can't give enough time and energy to anyone, not at home, not at my job, not in the sangha. It's been nice to have Eric here, and reconnect. I like having friends for a long time, and his is interestingly episodic with his visits. I like his worldly experience.
William said, "go" to get me into his room to read last night. Diana says he says, "me go," meaning "follow me where I go." It's quite amazing the way he changes.
Eric's visit, Di is visiting in a few weeks, and Rich is coming right after that.
Diana gave William some peanut-butter. He liked it. Eric said, "he better like it or his career as an American boy is ruined, they'll have to ship him over to France."
Diana likes to shop, but she doesn't like to shop with me so much (which is fine with me). But I went to a big store to get some cases of formula today for the first time. I got William a book on noses, because he's always grabbing Andrew's nose and saying, "nose!" Virginia taught him "hair" the other weekend. I got some other stuff, that store is cunningly conceived.
Our African American neighbors have a 5 week old baby girl, they were taking her out in stroller when I was coming in. The mother said on the way out about my boxes of formula, and the store, "that's my favorite store now."
Thursday evening William was upset when I went out to dinner with Eric. This is my experience now, I can't give enough time and energy to anyone, not at home, not at my job, not in the sangha. It's been nice to have Eric here, and reconnect. I like having friends for a long time, and his is interestingly episodic with his visits. I like his worldly experience.
William said, "go" to get me into his room to read last night. Diana says he says, "me go," meaning "follow me where I go." It's quite amazing the way he changes.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
369. I don't know!
William said, "I don't know," which is I think his first sentence, beyond More Elmo ("mo mo").
William hasn't been watching as much TV. I got some more DVDs, and he was interested, but we seem to have broken the spell on the TV. But after 4 days of no naps and early bedtimes, he's back to the nap, and tonight he's taken a long nap.
William hasn't been watching as much TV. I got some more DVDs, and he was interested, but we seem to have broken the spell on the TV. But after 4 days of no naps and early bedtimes, he's back to the nap, and tonight he's taken a long nap.
Monday, March 06, 2006
368. Solid Food
Natasia called today. She said she was coming over. That's the first time I've picked up the phone to hear her voice. She called us. She's 8. She says, "actually eight and a half!" William likes to eat gogurt with Natasia. Aida came over. Diana's mother is coming over and they're going to be feeding Andrew cereal for the first time today.
William said "smile", "rain", "snow" and "please".
I watched William and Andrew yesterday from 7:30 a.m. to 6 p.m., my longest stretch alone with the two of them. It went well, and I didn't turn on the TV until 4:45, when Andrew's fussiness made me want to distract William for a little while.
On Monday Diana fed Andrew rice cereal with apple sauce and some formula. He took it fine, but later in the day puked up formula.
William said "smile", "rain", "snow" and "please".
I watched William and Andrew yesterday from 7:30 a.m. to 6 p.m., my longest stretch alone with the two of them. It went well, and I didn't turn on the TV until 4:45, when Andrew's fussiness made me want to distract William for a little while.
On Monday Diana fed Andrew rice cereal with apple sauce and some formula. He took it fine, but later in the day puked up formula.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
367. Veng
I'm sorry not to write more. Things get very busy at times, and I can't write as much as I would like to. I appreciate all the readers who are interested in our family.
William says "cool", "shoes" "bath". He does the sign language for "more" putting his two hands together.
Everyone was glad to see me when I got home from two days away on retreat. William of course does a million new things, and Andrew wiggles more vigorously. It was very hard to leave them, but this is so important to me, and I am just so grateful that Diana allows me to go, and all the family support she gets that allows it.
William is climbing up the entertainment unit more. He's drinking from a cup. Eric is visiting, and he will visit next week too. He's from France, did a Ph.D. in Madison Wisconsin and now works in Germany. We went to see some jazz at Fat Cat.
William says "bear" and "open" and "veng" meaning come. William puts his two hands together for the more symbol of sign language. He kind of uses it for "I want this" instead of "more" which is what it means. Shani is working on getting more eye contact from William. They're thinking of doing a re-evaluation so William can get OT services, because that would help him progress with the speech. At the time I was elated to see William do well, but now I wouldn't mind more services.
William didn't take a nap Friday and slept 12 hours. I am glad Diana got to really sleep in.
William says "cool", "shoes" "bath". He does the sign language for "more" putting his two hands together.
Everyone was glad to see me when I got home from two days away on retreat. William of course does a million new things, and Andrew wiggles more vigorously. It was very hard to leave them, but this is so important to me, and I am just so grateful that Diana allows me to go, and all the family support she gets that allows it.
William is climbing up the entertainment unit more. He's drinking from a cup. Eric is visiting, and he will visit next week too. He's from France, did a Ph.D. in Madison Wisconsin and now works in Germany. We went to see some jazz at Fat Cat.
William says "bear" and "open" and "veng" meaning come. William puts his two hands together for the more symbol of sign language. He kind of uses it for "I want this" instead of "more" which is what it means. Shani is working on getting more eye contact from William. They're thinking of doing a re-evaluation so William can get OT services, because that would help him progress with the speech. At the time I was elated to see William do well, but now I wouldn't mind more services.
William didn't take a nap Friday and slept 12 hours. I am glad Diana got to really sleep in.
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