449. Feeding Andrew

After watching Finding Nemo Wednesday, the boys played. We took them to the doctor. William got an antibiotic for his cough. Andrew got some shots, and some blood drawn. He's not gained much weight or height since September, though he still falls within the normal ranges. We thought he would have gotten some height. He is more skinny than William, so it's deceptive. The doctor thinks it's because he's drinking his soy milk all day and night, and that is suppressing his appetite. So we're to limit that, and come back in a month. And to get him off the bottle.

Mia came over Thursday night, and she's a wild child. When her mother isn't here, she likes to run rampant. William and Mia push Andrew away, which is not so nice, but she did have some nice interactions with him later. William wanted Mia to watch Cars with him, and she watched it some, but not completely. She was happy when she got home, because her father was home. Usually she doesn't see her father during the week nights, he gets home so late, she goes to bed so early to be ready for preschool. Anyway, I'm thinking maybe it should be a weekly play date. Got to work it out. I think with her being potty trained, her language, and all that, she's a positive example for William. And they seem to like each other. They can fight like cats and dogs, but they hate it when the other leaves.

When I came home Friday night, from a visit to Cliff and Vava, their last night in an apartment 2 blocks from us, Andrew flew at me, flung himself at me. I'd forgotten that feeling of coming home, not working since the 19th.

We've been trying to focus on getting Andrew more food, cutting down on his soy milk which might inhibit his appetite, as the last doctor's visit sinks in. He was 23 lbs. 4.5 oz and was 31 and 3/4 inches at his last doctor's appointment. He's gained some weight and still falls within the normal bounds, but I think we can do better at feeding him. We're working towards more regular meals for the family, whole family meals. It's hard with our hectic schedules, but it's hopefully our primary focus for the beginning of 2007. I feel like a horrible parent, but I know I'm doing my best, and sleep addled stupidity is one factor in not optimizing my parenting. After food, sleep is another big issue.

448. Cycle of Life

Last night William fell asleep around 10, when Diana was out walking Elaine's dog. Andrew was thrashing around as he does for hours before he falls asleep. He wasn't going to bed, so it wasn't a surprise he got off the bed, and went out to be with Diana when she returned. Diana has not gotten much sleep lately, so she insisted on going to bed. She often passes up my offers to go to bed, that I will stay up with the boys, and even though I'm getting up earlier to meditate, she is taking a class and needs to be aware. I was more caught up on my sleep after getting enough sleep and taking naps. Aida and Natasia were over yesterday, and I took a long nap when the speech therapist came over. I go away when she's around, because William acts out when I'm around, and I want him to focus on the speech therapist. She says she's working on him loosening his jaw, showing him his mouth in the mirror, and giving him things to chew on his back teeth. She's also working on intentionality in play, which is easy for me to support. I just push one of the trains around, and announce in advance where I'm going to go. I like intentionality. I am working on being more one purposed, more integrated. There are so many ways I am splintered into many different areas. Having a family has helped me to order my priorities, by having so little time to myself.

So Andrew went to bed at 11:30, but woke up and finally went to bed around 1:30. I'm trying to reduce the co-sleeping, and putting the boys into their bed. They find their way back when I'm too tired to fight it. We're not going to draw the line in the sand, but I do think it's important to fall asleep on one's own, in one's own bed. I need to work harder to communicate to be in harmony with Diana. She is good at working with me. Last night, I didn't want to give William chicken nuggets, he's often eating them. We were happy when we found something he wanted to eat. He's a picky eater at times. Andrew is a good eater, he tries everything, and I suppose he benefits from my experience with William, and I try to give him a wide variety of foods, while he lets you put things in his mouth. He's good at spitting out what he doesn't want. William is a better sleeper right now, going to bed when we do.

The occupational therapist is working on matching insect type and color, and hand grip, by pulling on this thing that extends when he pulls on it. She had him squatting down and tossing a heavy ball back to her. And he refused to work on drawing a vertical and horizontal line with a crayon. His nose was a faucet and I ran interference with Andrew and wiped his nose. We're trying to get him to say, "tissue please," instead of "ugh ugh ugh!"

William woke at 7, and Andrew at 7:30. So Andrew was fussy and wanted to be held and whatnot, with only 7 hours of sleep. I'm sure just as they'll adjust to our being around, it's back to work, and Paquita.

Last night we were trying to clear the place for a rug shampooing, and I went out with the boys. Just as we were going out, Mia was coming home. Mia ran all the way inside, and missed William. We ended going up, and playing. Mia is quite a challenge for the boys, which I like. She's struggling to share, and presents some difficult behaviors, but her language is well developed, and she's a whirlwind.

William's cute asking for a band aid when he's hurt, has turned into a kind of wimpiness, that disrupts sessions. "I'm hurt," is what he says at the smallest pretext. He gets angered by his brothers littlest touch, and invokes the rule of "no hitting, pushing, kicking, throwing," unsuccessfully, because Andrew is so young.

Andrew's cold is on the wane, and William's is waxing. It is a week where James Brown and Gerald Ford died. Ford by the way is the first president who served as president but was neither elected as president or vice president. He was also raised by a stepfather. The first president I remembering entering my consciousness was Carter. I wonder who it will be for the boys.

Reading biographies, watching The Lion King with it's circle of life, watching Finding Nemo, and watching the news, I can't help but wonder how I will come to and end, how my children will come to their end. In a way, I think Buddhism is all about the recognition of the end game. Where do I want to be at the end, not just in my prime. It is a maximum of Buddhism that I will have to give up everything I know and love. At the boys births, I was very much thoughtful of the cycle of life.

447. Holidays

Thank you to everyone who sent presents. I think this was my worst year for giving out presents to others; I did the least, something got returned as undeliverable, and I've still got to send out presents to family.

The first present we opened mesmerized William and he didn't really want to open any others. We opened a few for them, but they were not really into it. AJ provided the most emotion. We were at Virginia and Tim's big house in Mahwah, near Franklyn Lakes.

William and Andrew enjoyed the large collection of family, wide open spaces, and abundant children. I enjoyed the people around, until I'm overwhelmed, and then I go to bed. When it was appropriate I removed myself to the bedroom. I've gotten my allergies back, and I took a benadryl and slept through much. Diana says I huff and puff at noise, but I don't remember that. William has been getting up early (usually it's Andrew) and he woke up early the next morning. There were more gifts to unwrap, and he unwrapped some. I think this was a rolling Christmas. I'll try to make it more punctuated next year. At least we got a tree, even if we didn't find the ornaments and decorate it.

Diana has a training the T 26 - F 29th, so I'm with the boys till 2 today. Aida is coming to let Diana and I go to dinner and a movie. I've seen 2 adult movies in the movie theaters and one with William, since he's been born, 31.5 months ago.

I read a biography of Babe Ruth, then a history of baseball by George Vescey. Now I'm reading the Cramer bio of Joe DiMaggio. I find that baseball biography is something I can easily pick up and put down, while watching the boys. I'll read a biography of Clamente next.

446. Finding Nemo

Finding Nemo is Buscando a Nemo en Espanol. I alternate English and Spanish with William. I think it's important that he becomes bilingual.

I've seen Finding Nemo so many times. A friend suggested to me it's about obedience. I thought about that. Nemo is taken away because of his spiteful rejection of his father's advice, to not go past the drop off--which is where his mother and brothers were killed. But I think it's also about confidence, taking risks, wild vs. domesticated or less wild, friendship as well as the importance of listening to good advice. Marlin doesn't listen to the advice to swim through the wall, not over it, and ends him up in the jelly fish school.

In the denouement of the film is when right after they reunite, Dorry gets caught up in net with a school of fish, and Nemo imagines he can rescue them, and Marlin his father lets go of his fear of losing him, and lets him go into the net, to swim down. Of course it's a cheap move that he's laying on the ground afterwards, and a relief when he's OK. It is also how trust is important in friendship.

Dorry with her memory loss, is able to enjoy life. Marlin with his continuity of purpose survives many travails, but is also tortured by the loss of his wife and 199 children.

I do enjoy the travel, journey, odyssey type narrative, with various trials. I think the weakest story line are the sharks who treat eating fish as a kind of AA kind of thing. My favorite character is Crush, and his letting his son take risks is a poignant counter point to Marlin's playing it safe.

I think it's a funny scene to end with the tank fish in the water, finally escaping, but still in the bags. It's kind of like, what next?! Life is a series of problems you try to solve, that is never ending.

I really like the ritual scene where Nemo is given the ceremonial name "Shark Bait". William likes to chant and make the ritual sounds. I think of it in terms of my own hopeful ordination into the Western Buddhist Order.

It's a really beautiful movie, visually, and it makes me want to go snorkeling in a reef. I'm glad my son has chosen this movie to like, I think he has good taste.

445. Busy weekend

Friday night Cliff and Paul came over. Paul brought a present, and Cliff let the boys play a program on his computer. The boys like Paul and Cliff, which is cool. It's great when they come over, and I regret to have such divided attention, but they are both pretty good with accepting my current circumstances.

Saturday Diana helped Virginia and Tim move, and I joined them with Aida and the boys later. A huge lovely house in nice suburban New Jersey. They seem very excited to settle in, and eager to do all these tasks to make the home feel right for them. William enjoyed running around in all the space. They both love to explore everything. They are very curious to explore everything. Andrew is even getting to be a little pushy, grabbing my shirt, demanding by crying and other vocalizations.

The street light went off at 6:52 am Sunday morning. Andrew woke up and was very cute. When you're around them a lot, they can seem unremarkable for a time, but when Andrew wakes up in the morning, he seems so precious. He ate a banana with me and some soy milk.

William asked for ice creme, some other things that were not breakfast food, and then asked for toast. I made him some toast, but Andrew ended up eating it.

Seth gave me a big 4 person tent. I took it to Virginia's. I hoping to camp with the boys in her yard some time, to gradually get them into going into the great outdoors.

The new car has more storage and I brought back William (originally AJ's) old car bed. Andrew spent his last night in a crib. They go in and out of our bed, co-sleeping. We don't Ferberize.

Aunt Di came over Sunday, after visiting her son up at Vassar. It's lovely to see her as usual. Looks like there's a cousin's gathering in the Grand Canyon, and I've been invited to join. I'm looking forward to it, it's in May. Diana agree to my attending. Di was gone before I woke up, a nice and sweet visit.

444. William turned 32 months

William found Josephine's presents, and opened up Andrew's. Opse. She gave him a nice book and a toy train.

Andrew's gum situation went away. We thought he had a fall, but when the doctor looked up his gum, it looked maybe like a canker or something. It's gone away. In my anxiety, I convinced myself that he had cancer. The boys are fine. William caugh is just a cold. We're going to give Andrew some prune juice before we try the constipation medication. Good to have on hand though if we need it, we should get it filled. The doctor thinks his flatulance is from the constipation. As I meditated next to him this morning he was really letting it rip.

Diana is effectively done with her all out blitz to finish papers. It's been a difficult but rewarding few weeks with the boys.

Last night William got mightily upset about our being out of chicken nuggets. We had chicken vegetables and rice cooked by Abuela though, and after a monster tantrum, some time out, he ate it. He ate brocholi and I say, "you're going to grow up to be a strong boy."

There was an interesting article in the Times about sleeping and children. I don't think we have the fortitude to Ferberize them, and Diana definitely is against that, and any parenting, I've realized, must be in harmony.

Paquita, our baby sitter, and aunt through marriage (and through marriage twice for me) is very kind. She cleans and does the dishes, which is beyond the call of what we ask of her. She stayed later though this paper crisis of Diana, waiting till I came home, and going late to her English classes. She was very kind about me coming home late yesterday, because I went to the DMV and unsuccessfully registered my new car. Apparently you can give someone a car for title purposes, but for tax purposes, you need an original signature, not a fax. I made it a point to try and remain polite with equanimity, as I saw many tantrum and depressingly resigned around me.

One hour swimming classes on Sunday, we'll both be in the water. Virginia moves Saturday. I'm off from Tuesday afternoon, when I'm going to go to the DMV again. Then I won't work until 2007. William turned 32 months yesterday.

443. New Car

A very generous gift that will effect the whole family is a new-to-us car. Our old car was quite good, but the new one is larger, more storage space for drives out to NJ to do our laundry, and has a DVD player in it so the boys will be more entertained when in the car.

442. Charlotte's Web

The boys slept till 8 on Saturday, giving me some time to blog! Quickly we decided to take William to see Charlotte's Web, a free screening. Diana had to go study. Abuela and Abuelo took Andrew. I drove to the Bliss station on the 7 line, and met up with Natasia, Robyn and Aida. We took the subway in, and rushed and ran to the theater on 42nd Street. I liked the movie, and it's vegetarian themes. When we came out they had a table of vegetarian information, pamphlets and small cookbooks. William did pretty well. He got a little restless at times, wandered between the seats a little bit, but for the most part was pretty good in a movie. He sits so close to the TV, we're constantly telling him to back up, I think he liked it that we had to sit very close to the screen because we got there late.

We went out, walked down 42nd Street to get some diapers because I'd rushed out without them. William saw some cars, and I bought him one. He picked out the hybrid car Prius, which I thought was cool. Then we went to the Gap for the bathroom. Aida thought she knew where the bathroom was, but turns out I was right because I'd worked there as a job site many years ago, when I worked in a special education school. They'd remodeled, it's quite nice. Diana wanted a hat and glove for William so we found that. William fell asleep, so instead of going around the city as I'd hoped, I lugged the sack of potatoes home. He woke up when we got inside, yeesh. Immediately he went looking for Andrew/Andres.

441. ABCD!

Andrew shook his head ¨yes¨ the other day. He's into saying assenting or showing his disapproval more clearly. He can imitate sounds. He woke up at 6:15am Wednesday, and Diana interrupted my meditation because she had to catch a ride, which is fine. I ended up giving him a shower, like I have done with William many times.

Friday night, Diana went into the boy's bedroom, and Andrew had gotten into the crib. He's never done that before. I think it's time to get a new bed. We sent the car one over to Virginia, but she's moving next weekend, and very very busy, and I don't want to make any demands on her. So many 2007.

William is playing to himself more, he's more self sufficient. Also when he hurts himself he asks for milk, or a band aid, and the other day when he coughed, he said, "I want medicine."

I brought Nati over last night. Aida was going to a concert. I got to bed at a decent hour, but it was still hard to get up at 5 am to meditate for an hour. No mitra meeting today for me with Seth, Andrew and Alyssa, because Diana has to work on her paper all day, and then we have Josephine's 9th Annual Holiday Party in the evening. Abuela is decorating their tree with Natasia and Robyn, tonight, too.

William said, "ABCD" last night for the first time. I was very impressed.

440. Under The Table

William is doing imaginative play--he took our Chinese restaurant calendar and said, "map" and I said, "where's the treasure?" and he pointed to a place on the map. He calls Andrew "Cita," short for "Andrewcita", meaning little Andrew.

William woke up Saturday and said, "where's James?!" meaning his cast metal train from Thomas The Tank Engine. Of course we find every other one but that one. Salty? Percy Ice, Ghost Percy, Thomas, Mavis, Iron 'Arry, Iron Burt, Jack, Alfie, Fergus.

Andrew won't say "mama". He says "Aida" or something like that, and "Dada", but the closest he come is "anea" which I think is a derivation of "Mommy". William said "band aid," which he always wants for his soreness. It almost replaces the ubiquitous request for milk. He dislikes an partially full milk cup, but he rarely drinks the whole thing, and you can drain the milk supply quickly if you accede to his demands. Andrew said a close version to, "band aid," and he's getting closer and closer to speaking. He's 14 months, and William is 29 months.

William woke up today saying he wanted grandma. It was early, so I didn't wake up my mother, but later when he had the bunny (Rich's) she gave him I put him on the phone with her. He tried to talk. He's trying really hard to talk, but it's not quite flowing out of him. My mother said that she loves him.

Rich told me he thinks the boys are very polite and kind, and that we're doing a great job, which really made me feel good.

Abuela took Andrew to church so I could take William to swimming class while Diana worked on her paper today. William got into a weepy mood, didn't want to go to the park, and didn't want to go swimming. We had a nice afternoon together, but he got upset when I wouldn't give him a popsicle, and feel asleep under the table. Diana put him in bed when she came home.

439. Look mommy, I'm crying.

William climbed up the chain link wall at the playground. He drew with the chalk and then he says it's "thomas" or a "ghost". We went to get pizza and he fell asleep on the way back, and it was very hard to carry him. Luckily Natasia was with us to carry the pizza.

We skipped swimming because everyone is sick. They boys are clingy and weepy and sleepy.

When William is upset and trying to get something, he says, "look mommy, I'm crying."

438. Thanksgiving

My cold went to Andrew first. He didn't sleep well all week (neither
did we), until Friday when he slept till 11am! William had a terrible
night last night, and was weepy/upset quite easily today.

Our
Thanksgiving was good at Virginia and Tim's in New Jersey. We spent
Wednesday to Saturday there. So much more space for the boys to roam,
and they are kind and gracious hosts. Sorry we left such a mess.

Emma and AJ are getting christened today, congratulations to them. My poor grandmother Parks is in Newnan Hospital, I'm hoping she's going to be out soon.

Looking
at William's pictures he does not look always so happy. I'm getting a
few growling pictures. He's trying to reign in his urges to hit and
generally tantrum and I really respect the effort he's making. In a way
it makes me sad that he's got to master his will some because he's such
a sweet boy. He growls at Andrew sometimes, like I've growled at him.
What I do doubles back at me, parenthood can be a cruel mirror. But
it's also a good mirror, because he does have sweetness and kindness
too. He's become afraid of sharks and bugs and ghosts. His anger is
being projected out, and coming back to him, in these threats. I'm
working to help him to experience and feel his anger, but not act out,
and act in his best interest. To express it in more socially acceptable
ways.

I'm grateful to have such lovely boys, such a lovely wife,
such a lovely family, to have a job, co-op to live, my spiritual
community, my deeper friendships, to have found the teachings of the Buddha, to hear about his life, 2500 years later.

437. Kathy and Rich

We had a lovely visit from Kathy and Rich. They came in in the late afternoon on Friday, Rich up from a conference at Princeton, and Kathy from Chicago. The boys were thrilled to see them, and enjoyed the many presents they gave all of us. They gave the boys some great puzzle books, and some Lego.

Unfortunately I had a cold, and I went to bed early. I let Diana sleep in though, in the morning, and fixed Rich breakfast. Mom fixed dinner Friday night, and made some dishes Saturday. Rich and I took the boys to the park for a couple of hours. William says, "I want to go to the park," whenever I leave now.

I took a long nap in the afternoon, feeling quite under the weather. Aida came over, bringing they boys the DVD of Cars. We went out to dinner with Virginia and Tim. Thanks to Aida for watching the boys. Natasia was with her father Harry, so she wasn't there.

Saturday it wasn't long before I took Kathy and Rich to the airport. I think the boys had a splendid visit with their grandparents. They were exhausted Sunday night. Mia came over and played for a couple of hours. When William started crying like he only cries when he's really exhausted, we took Mia home. William wanted to go "home" with her. Mia can be a bit rough, but she's basically a good girl, and I think it's so important for children to develop socially that I want her over as much as possible. I was trying to rest on the bed, and they all climbed up on the bed to hinder my resting. Nevertheless it was a nice visit from Mia and William was unhappy to see her go. Andrew is sometimes left out of their fun, but he's a jovial fellow anyway.

436. Toot toot!

William puts his head down, and pretends to count. You can distinctly hear "two" but the rest of the numbers are a garble. Then he runs around, not really looking for a hiding place and runs all over the place.

They use the end table and a launching pad for their jumps onto the couch. I think with the lamps broken, we could get rid o the end tables.

Andrew goes "toot toot", and it's really cute. I was doing some yoga yesterday and they were climbing all over me like a jungle gym.

I came home last night, and my entry into the apartment led Diana to finally check out in a nap. She slept fitfully through the noise, and got some rest. I let her sleep in, and got up in the night when Andrew cried. She's been a trooper all week, but it's hard for me to imagine sleeping less and functioning. We're both at the end of our ropes with sleep and demands on our time.

344. New camera

Andrew is cute when he tries to jump like William. He squats down, moves upwards, and does not leave the ground. Maybe a leg lifts off, but he definitely doesn't get air, and if he does, it's very low, and he almost wipes out from the almost no air that he does get. It's very cute though.

We didn't do the swimming class last weekend, the boys had cold, and we didn't want them to get more sick, or pass their cold to others. It's been a stressful week because Diana has 2 school projects due. Wednesday Andrew woke up at 4:30 and I got up. This morning both of them got up at 6 and didn't go back to bed.

Emma and Abuala were here today when I got home. Harry came to pick up Emma, and Abuela left.

We've gotten a camera to replace the lost one. Diana bought a camera for her mother as a present on her trip to Europe, but she didn't give it to her in time, and so she decided to give it to us. So more photos coming in the future.

434. Halloween

Monday morning I had 2 lovely hours with Andrew before I went to work, playing and just enjoying his pure positive spirit. Tuesday I only had an hour with Andrew and his wonderfulness. Wednesday I had the joy of both Andrew and William. Thursday I had some Andrew and then some William. Something shifted in my mindfulness retreat and I've been able to be more present with the boys.

Halloween was good. William was Pablo and Andrew was a pumpkin. Natasia was a pirate, Aida a mouse. Natasia's cousins were a skeleton and a Power Ranger.

I love the immigrants in our neighborhood, they seem to enter into the spirit of Halloween more than others.

I'm going on a shorter retreat Friday to Saturday. It's good because I'll have Sunday with the boys.

I've connected with my cousin Katie, via e-mail, who's a freshman at Utah, which is lovely. I want to be connected to family.

432. Miscellaneous notes

Miscellaneous notes: They've broken both lamps in the living room in their climbing adventures. Andrew's little scab is almost gone, from his fall recently. Nobody returned the camera, so this part of their well documented life will not include photos. Abuela came back from her vacation today. Di is in Australia. Cliff is working very hard, not avoiding us. The boys have been sleeping terribly this week, it's been a real trial.

I've been listening to Harry Chapin's Cat's Cradle song to help remind me that some of my negative behaviors will come back to me later, to help focus me on being more pure around the boys. I also like Heather Headley's song He Is focuses me on some of my ideals about being a husband.

431. Sweet Natasia

William looked at my book and said, "I see Buddha." I was impressed. A little before that he asked for a kiss and a hug for the first time with me.

We had the second swimming lessons. Andrew didn't get in the water, he continues to not like it. William was doing all kinds of things. I was the support, Diana was in the water this time.

Diana lost the diaper bag, with our camera, her passport, and other important things. Nobody found it, and as yet, no good samaritan has returned it.

Aida left Natasia here when they all went out, and Natasia was a big help watching the boys. She's such a sweetie pie.

430. Mahwah

Congratulations to Benjamin Parks, my cousin, on his wedding. Reports are that it was a lovely wedding. I couldn't find any wed announcements yet.

We drove to North Haldon New Jersey last night where Virginia lives with her husband Tim. We picked up Natasia. Tim and Virginia are thinking of moving to Mahwah New Jersey. The boys fell asleep in the car. Andrew woke up for a little while, but went to sleep.

429. Raspberries

Andrew fell yesterday coming in from the park, when he was with Paquita, and he got some nice raspberries on his forehead and eye brow. When I came home last night and saw that I had a terrible sinking feeling, but quickly I was sure he was all right, and Paquita is nothing but responsible. She's been under the weather and has still come the past several days. She's feeling better, and I'm sure she feels pretty awful about it. Andrew seems no worse for the wear, and heals quickly.

Andrew is in the phase where he likes to hand things to you and throw things. In the crib he could toss things out of it for hours.

William on the other hand, wants to play with his Thomas The Tank Engine trains all day, and does not so much like interference from his little brother. He can get quite anguished at times, and some meditating between the two is required. I'm trying to teach William to hand Andrew a trivial train. I mean trivial in his mind. Andrew does not so much care which train he puts into his hands, and will quite happily hand it back. William could finesse it, but he gets upset, and loses balance. Quite normal of course.

No more baseball to prevent William from getting his way on the TV. Last night the Mets lost game 7 of the NLCS to the Cardinals. William says, "daddy," over and over, and asks for Thomas or Caillou, because he wants some children's programing on TV, the second is the name a little boy in a cartoon that is bald, and Diana thought William looked like him when he got his head shaved. I think he needs another hair cut, but I don't think I'm going to be trusted to give him one any more. Andrew looks like a hippy with his long hair, not unpleasantly so, but I still go for the short hair thing. I don't want to upset Diana, though, my poor embattled hard working wife, who has lots of class work, and work work. She says she got 3 hours sleep last night, she had to stay up and write lesson plans. Yeesh.

Andrew ate my tortellini with pesto sauce last night. He's ripping wicked farts with the switch from formula to soy milk. He's lactose intolerant.

This weekend is Ava and Christian's birthday parties, two parties for two sweet little mites. Sunday Diana is getting some much needed study time, and we're back to the swimming lessons after the YMJA resumes after the holidays.

428. Sex Offenders Map

Here's a map of the residences of sex offenders living near us.

427. Fall

Virginia bought William a Thomas The Tank Engine bed. We're going to take his old one over to her house. I took the boys to the park yesterday. It's a lovely fall day and Diana more than deserves space and breaks. Virginia and Tim stopped by. Virginia has the quaint habit of stopping by before most trips. They were giddy with excitement of time off and time together. Sympathetic joy to them. William and Andrew played havoc with Diana's attempt to construct a bookshelf she bought to help organize the house better. We got the boys to sleep by 10, but it was a dog fight that began at 9. Yeesh.

427. No swimming

William went to the park with Mia on Saturday. Daniella has a nice apartment, I went up to get Mia. I was surprised that she hadn't given birth yet, she's been 4 cm dilated for the longest time. Now she's 5. They're not going to induce her until a week from Monday if she doesn't have the baby. I wanted to give her a break from Mia, and William likes her. Mia can be a little rough at times, but I think she's grand. They played at the park on the big swings for a while. The slides are fun, Mia likes to go down backwards on her back. They were throwing acorns down the slide. A fellow came along to join them, and they were yelling "NO!" to him. I made them include him and be nice to him. The little boy didn't speak, and his grandmother only spoke Russian to him. Mia kept saying "coconuts" and it took me a while to figure out she meant "acorns".

Then she had to go to the bathroom, so we went home. Daniella called me just as we got there, she wanted Mia back to go visit relatives. She promised to join up with us for a party that night. There was a kid's party for 4pm. Diana didn't go till after 7. Before that they went to Jamaica to go shopping, with Aida and Natasia. They came back briefly and then went out.

Paul came over and we watched the Mets. Around the 6th inning my eye lids were drooping, and Paul mercifully took my leave. He worries he's getting in the way by coming over. I worry guests won't like to visit because of my divided attention, and my inability to keep awake past 10.

Diana reports William really like the aquarium the little girl had. They also took him to Janet's 41st birthday party, but they fell asleep in the car, and ended up sleeping on the bed with all the other kids who were there past their bedtimes.

Sunday they slept past 9, and that meant with Saturday, I'd had a lot of free time to read this weekend. We went to swimming lessons, but it's closed this weekend and next--opse. So we went to Target. William got a replacement James, plus Iron 'Arry and Iron Bert, Thomas, Alfie, Mavis and Jack, plus with a DVD he got a ice Percy and the Winter Caboose. He's very happy with these additions, and tries to horde them from Andrew, who gives them back quite readily, but also throws them.

We lost William temporarily when I had Andrew and assumed Diana would take William. She assumed the same about me. He had a toy shopping cart, which he was pushing all over, and when we found him he was fine, he was just pushing the cart around. Diana was pretty upset we lost him. The idea that someone could kidnap him flashed through my mind, but you know, that's pretty rare, and once we found him I was more embarrassed that he'd gotten away, than worried. Andrew doesn't want anything, he didn't pick out any toys. I feel bad everything is for William but in Andrew's mind, I think everything is his, so we're all right for now.

We came home, and the boys fell asleep. I laid down and Diana went to a movie. I thought she was just going for a movie, but she was gone for a while. Turns out the movie she went for, she missed, and went other places. She's certainly entitled to time away from the boys, but I wish she'd communicate to help me with my expectations. I've got to focus on my communication and efforts. So the boys rampaged around the apartment till Diana got home, and then I went to bed. William tried to go to sleep with me, but gave up. Diana has today off, but I have to work. A nice weekend. I'm away next weekend on retreat. I'm going to miss the family.

426. One Year Doctor's Appointment

Andrew had his year doctor's appointment. He weighs 23.5 lbs. I couldn't find in the blog where William was weighed at 1. It should be April 2005, but I don't see it in a couple tries. Of course I can't really sit at the computer any more. The doctor gave him 3 shots. He says he's lactose intolerant or whatever, and we should switch him to soy milk from the formula, which will be considerably cheaper. I'm kind of glad he's not going to take bovine source milk. I myself like soy milk. The doctor said he's not going to have trouble with the shots, but he was a bit clingy the past few days.

It's been a stressful week. When I loose it a little and raise my voice in frustration, I just think, "they're internalizing the bad object." Yeesh. Grunty, Grunticus, Terradactyl is a bit of a babyzilla. He smashes plates of food, he grabs books out of our hands, he climbs over my body using his tough little toes to get painful toe holds.

William struggles with it, too. He tries to put his Thomas trains places where Grunty can't get, but Grunty is a plucky tough little thing, he can get everywhere. We often find him precariously in the window sill in his room, not the one with the soft couch to fall on.

Tuesday, Zane's last day, we spent a long time in the park. Mia was there, and Daniella, who began to get severe contractions. She called her mother, but later when I saw her, she was back from the hospital.

Paquita is doing a good job, or "Kita" as William calls her.

Thursday night, my night with the boys with Diana in class till late, I played the boys a lot of music. Grant Green, Kind of Blue by Miles Davis, some hip hop and some Alison Krauss.

Last weekend I saw some leaves changing color. Grunty's birthday was officially autumn.

425. Andres turned one

Andrew turned one on Saturday! The family had a big party to celebrate at Virginia and Tim's in New Jersey. In attendance were Abuela and Abuelo, Aida, Robyn, Natasia, Harry, Angie, AJ, Emma, Jose Antonio and wife and newborn daughter Arianna, Jessica, Jacky, Zolt, Nicole, Christian, Josephine, Ava, her sister, and her daughter Jillian. Poor Diana who is overwhelmed with motherhood, work, marriage, didn't get the invitations into the mail--they sat in her backpack until it was too late, so it was just family, but that was more than enough. The party is a family event in a way. There was cake, and a pinata. Abuela cooked perniel. Thank you to everyone who helped out and attended.

Zane came the Thrusday before. He's been a huge help, he's totally focused on the boys, you can tell how much he loves them. Pauquita still came Thursday and Friday, I didn't want him to be overloaded. He got to see the speech therapist at work with William. And Paquita came with us to the aquarium, we needed her help.

Monday we went to the aquarium, and then William dipped his feet in the Atlantic ocean for the first time at Coney Island. Andrew and William wanted me to carry them, making Paquita and Zane helpless to help me with their demands. They actually helped a lot. Andrew didn't like the loud public address system in the sea lion show, so I walked him around. We had lunch there, and toured all the exhibits. I have a great picture of William running away from a sea lion because he was scared. Andrew fell asleep, and I took William down to the water at the beach.

Zane leaves today.

424. Long Time No Write

It's been overwhelming with Diana going back to work, hard to write. Andrew has gotten his 5th and 6th tooth, and a skin rash. William and Andrew had their first swimming lesson today. Monday Paquita comes to take care of William and Andrew, the era of Paquita begins.

I enjoy Thursday nights with the boys. Diana has class Tuesday and Thursday. Aida is going to watch the boys Tuesday so I can go to sangha night.

Last Sunday was Harry and Angie's wedding. William was dancing with Delilah. I went home after 4 hours because I had stomach trouble. It was a lovely wedding, even though Harry left Aida and Natasia about 9 years ago to be with Angie, I see that as water under the bridge. Harry and Angie have 2 children together, and AJ is one of William's favorites. I think it's better to get married, and then have children. I think that works best, but I realize that the world is imperfect, things often don't go off in the best way.

423. Diversity and Limits

I love the diversity of our neighborhood. At the park today, we were closer to the Jewish section of Main Street Flushing, so there were some Jewish kids, which is quite a diverse thing in itself, from the religious orthodox Jews of Europe or the Middle East. But there was also a woman with a French accent, and an Asian man. The other day in Vliegh Park there was a Muslim woman with the complete hidden body thing, with only the eye slits. There was also a white woman with an indeterminate European accent with mulatto children. Many Indian (not Native American) and Hispanic and WASPs like me. Many varieties of traditional cultures from all over the world, and less traditional people like me, who love it all but can't really cling to my own culture. I have found a different religion, have merged with a different culture. I love the diversity of New York City. I find it really vibrant and alive. I know some people feel best when there's a tight community of similar values. I'm sure I would love that, but where am I going to find a Wasp/European/Hispanic hybrid Buddhist community? I want diversity and tolerance of difference. Not idiot tolerance, not unlimited permissivism. I still wish ethical, family oriented, and tending towards high culture instead of monster truck rallies, but I have room for that too. I like the racially mixed couple upstairs, the Hispanic woman with the Catholic white man upstairs, the Philippine families. It is a rich and hearty broth.

William got one time out for marginally provoking, and not diffusing a conflict with a little girl. William has gotten into a few shouting matches with other little kids. Also no pushing. I remember Wes saying on our week long visit, "ah he finally said no to William." William is getting a lot of no's, I want him to get some yeses too. Andrew gets no's too, about climbing into the window sill in his room, about climbing up onto the computer chair. I do believe in limits and teaching children to be civilized and easily integrated into the group without causing lots of troubles.

422. Thomas The Tank Engine

When I first saw Thomas The Tank Engine, I thought it was weird, preposterous. As the Wikipedia article mentions, it has subanthropomorphism.

But a few thousand hours later of DVD and video watching, I've found the tales to be quite good. And when William gets a fad, he gets a fad, there's not stopping him. Here are some of his favorite web sites:

Official Site

Riley and Drew's Site

Drew's site

421. Back to work

Diana went to work a little while on Monday and back to work full time on Thursday. The boys have a cold, and so they're whiney and winge, but they have a kind of unnamable discontent with their mother away. William is more conscious of it, and he sees Abuela as the absence of his parents. Andrew enjoys playing with Abuela, and does not seem to be as traumatized by it. Aunt Di visited this week too, with her kindness and goodwill.

420. Chop chop

Aida, the godmother, called Andrew, "An-drool". He's got his 4th tooth coming in. Aida taught William to say, "chop chop," meaning hurry up. He also says, "nope," instead of "no" sometimes.

They took the boys to the Putnum County Fair. Virginia drove, Aida and Diana. Robyn and Natasia joined them.

Over the weekend I came to the realization that William is not always guilty when Andrew is crying and Andrew can be demanding, a babyzilla at times, and William is just trying to defend his space.

Sunday they went to Chucky Cheese to celebrate Joseph's birthday. Diana reports that William was very good at sharing.

We got William to go to bed at 8, but he got up at 6:30, so I think the optimal amount of sleep for him is 10.5 hours.

I took William to the park on Monday. I feel the seasons changing, it's darker and it's getting cooler. It was hard to say goodbye for work Monday morning after 9 days with the boys. I felt refreshed at work. Spending time with the family is very important to me.

Saturday morning William said, "bus" in his sleep. I read in some weekly news magazine an article about dreams, and it asserted that children don't dream like adults until they are 7. I'm not sure if that's true. William seems to dream.

William also gets time out. He's learning the lessons no hitting, not pushing and no throwing (we'll work on the exceptions to that later).

Aida and Natasia slept over, and the boys slept till 9 and 9;30.Aida, the godmother, called Andrew, "An-drool". He's got his 4th tooth coming in. Aida taught William to say, "chop chop," meaning hurry up. He also says, "nope," instead of "no" sometimes.

They took the boys to the Putnum County Fair. Virginia drove, Aida and Diana. Robyn and Natasia joined them.

Over the weekend I came to the realization that William is not always guilty when Andrew is crying and Andrew can be demanding, a babyzilla at times, and William is just trying to defend his space.

Sunday they went to Chucky Cheese to celebrate Joseph's birthday. Diana reports that William was very good at sharing.

We got William to go to bed at 8, but he got up at 6:30, so I think the optimal amount of sleep for him is 10.5 hours.

I took William to the park on Monday. I feel the seasons changing, it's darker and it's getting cooler. It was hard to say goodbye for work Monday morning after 9 days with the boys. I felt refreshed at work. Spending time with the family is very important to me.

Saturday morning William said, "bus" in his sleep. I read in some weekly news magazine an article about dreams, and it asserted that children don't dream like adults until they are 7. I'm not sure if that's true. William seems to dream.

William also gets time out. He's learning the lessons no hitting, not pushing and no throwing (we'll work on the exceptions to that later).

Aida and Natasia slept over, and the boys slept till 9 and 9;30.

419. Mia

Mia came over for the first time with her mother. Mia is Daniella's daughter, one of our neighbors. She's Argentinean and her husband is Israeli. Mia turned 3 the other day, so she's got an 8 month lead on William. They played and fought. When Mia was upset she said, "I don't love you any more." William was just as hot and cold as she was, but they ended amicably, saying goodbye to each other. Mia was potty trained around 2 because her mother had floor that wasn't a carpet, and she just let her figure it out. She still has accidents though, and she's regressed some her mother reports because of the impending birth of David, who is due around Andrew's first birthday. I'd wanted to go to Harriman, but Diana wasn't into it, and after the visit they said it was too late. Diana, William, Andrew, Aida and Natasia went shopping and they didn't get home till late.

418. Bronx Zoo

Bronx Zoo is here.

The zoo was marvelous. I enjoyed the gorilla, the tigers, the nocturnal building, the whole thing. The children's zoo allowed you to pet and feed some of the animals. I think William enjoyed it.

417. Staten Island Children's Museum

We live in Kew Garden Hills. There's a museum in Staten Island for children. Here is our route.

Turns out the museum is part of the Snug Harbor Cultural Center. We had some difficulty locating the right place, but once we got close we could see some children's type play equipment.

The museum was good. There was walk in clay workshop, an insect exhibit, dog exhibit, a fire engine with little outfits you could put on, and an adventurer exhibit. We played outside in the boat park. It was a good day.

416. Flushing

I took William to the park, and then later to Flushing. We went to the library and got some DVDs and some books. DVDs: Winnie The Pooh, and DVDs of some of the books he has. Books: one on Charlie Parker, some Dr. Seus, and a subway mouse book, plus a baby faces book for Andrew. He was rambling around, I was trying to pick out books, and then I got a phone call from Diana and then a guard was telling me that I couldn't use the phone in the library. In the line to check out books and DVDs, I couldn't control William, and he was running all around. He met a little fellow who he began to run around with and they were OK until they went too far afield, and they almost went outside. The mother of the little boy shrieked and got her son, and William followed. When we left William said bye bye. Then we went for a walk around interesting Flushing. William got tired, we took the bus home, and he fell asleep in my arms, and I had to lug him home. He slept for a few hours, and I got to read. When Diana came home, with Andrew, I left for my Dharma group. Aida and Natasia came over.

415. Diana's day out

Diana left around 9:30 a.m. and came home around 8:30 p.m. It was an exciting day mostly alone with my boys. I have fear about being alone with them, there's nothing like the safety net of another person. It helps so you can do things, like blog. The boys loved my absolute attention, I didn't do anything for myself, except go to the bathroom, and eat. And I suppose I had a few private thoughts.

Instead of TV, I turned on Baroque music. Some professor at St. John's who come to my former school reported that Baroque music has a beat that is conducive to studying, but that the Mozart effect is bogus. Anyway, I didn't want TV and the music helps. In the end I turn on the TV out of exhaustion, but I resist it.

William played with lego, and the letter foam flooring Cliff and Vava got him. He plays with his cars and the straight race car track I got him. They wrestle a little bit. William can be a little rough, and I think Andrew will start to cry, but he laughs. That's the guide, the sounds of Andrew. I went into a kind of manic mode, and I was cleaning and organizing and doing the dishes. That kind of energy is not sustainable, but I'm doing it one day. I've recently been experimenting with leaving nothing in the tank, and seeing if I can function the next day. I usually can.

Shani came, she's the speech therapist. The took William into the room even though he didn't want to leave me. I had some good time with Andrew. I can see how this really helps the family.

Then after a while, William was begging me for a Thomas The Tank Engine DVD. I really like that show, it's pretty good, I think it inculcates good values. I like to figure out if I can identify the different engines. I find the language. "He caused confusion and delay," that being the worst that happens.

And one point, William said, "park". So I said, "when you clean up the lego." He cleaned for a second and then got distracted by the TV. Then he remembered, and cleaned up. He did a good job. So we went to the park, but not before we went to the post office and got some lovely books my mother sent for William and Andrew. At the park it was hard because I was more strict with William leaving the park. He likes to go where he wants to go, but with Andrew there, I need him to stay in the park. Andrew was having fun running in the big puddle, and even going into the fountain. William wanted me to get him the "juice" that another kid had, but I wouldn't. He hung out a little with a kind of family and even shared his Thomas The Tank Engine wooden toy, and he also has a Scooby Doo Mystery Machine van, matchbox car. These are his two constant companions. He wouldn't even put them down to climb. We got into the routine of putting the cars into the stroller so he can climb, but he's gone back to resisting that. I guess I need to get a little strict about that. William found a cute little curly haired girl who talked and made him laugh, and we went on the swings together. Then as soon as it happened, William walked away. He wanted to leave the park again, and cried on the cement. He was upset but I had 2 boys, and we needed to stay together. We went down onto the ball field. William wanted to go across it, and so I ran off and got the stroller quickly. Some muslim women went over when they were alone for a second, one picked up Andrew and handed him to me.

While we were waiting for Chinese food I went to the dollar store and got them some inexpensive trucks, and a tractor. It was hard to keep them quiet while we waited for the food upon our return, but we got out of there, back home, and ate some. Soon the boys were tired, and William fell asleep. Andrew had just fallen asleep when Diana came home. Whew! What a day.

414. Natasia is 9

Great Aunt Maggie passed away last Friday. She is grandma Parks' sister. My father, Zane, was very much attached to her, as well as my grandmother. William and Andrew never got to meet her, but I did, and I thought she was lovely. She had a straight talking way about her, she called a spade a spade. She wasn't stuffy or had pretense, she had what I call a cut through the nonsense kind of attitude that I find quite refreshing. She had a certain kind of clarity which is all too rare.

Last night we had Natasia's birthday party. This early August event is the highlight of our summer, with the collection of family and friends to celebrate this most precious birth. Natasia is a bright, beautiful wonderful 9 year old girl. She helps us out a lot. We have a special connection with her because when Harry left Aida, she moved in with us, and we lived with her for a while. I learned many important lessons about children from Natasia that helps me with my own two precious sons. And I am still learning.

Diana cried because I got William and myself a buzz cut, a very short, close to the head hair cut. They will grow back soon, but the short hair really upsets her. Vava pointed out that I have a short memory, I should have anticipated this, but it's not that easy for me. I got William a hair cut that wasn't a buzz cut, and she was equally upset. I'm not sure what kind of hair cut she expects. She was even more mad that I got a short hair cut.

The party was well attended, and Will and Drew fell asleep right as they were cutting the cake. They woke up during the hullaballoo of the two pinata. Daniella and her daughter Mia were there. Her son David is in her belly and should be coming out within a month. She's a full of life woman from Argentina, and her husband is Israeli. Cliff and Vava came. They said when they handed Natasia her present she mechanically went to the window and added it to the pile of presents she had. Josephine, Michael, Evan and Ava came. I mispronounce Ava's name, I pronounced it /Aiva/. Vava pointed out my mistake, Josephine and Michael thought I was doing it on purpose, so they never corrected me. Tim came late because of work. Bill came late. The party was supposed to start at 1, but it didn't really start until 4. It was nice to see Robyn, Evelyn, and David and Jessica. Much of Aida's family was there, those strong boys. The boys woke up, and I took William home, as I was exhausted.

In the morning before the party, I took William to get my car from Vajramati, whom I lent it to. The car had developed problems, and I barely got it home, it was quite tense, mostly because I didn't want to be on the side of the road with William. It needs a new water pump and some hoses, an oil change, and hopefully not more work, we'll find out today.

413. Mets

I took Diana, William, Andrew, Natasia, Cliff and Vava to the Mets game last night, with the home. This was William's second game, and he seemed to take more and more in. This was Andrew's first game. He was attracted by the lights, the noise, and his insatiable desire to move. This was Natasia's second game, I thought I heard her say. She seemed to have fun. This was Cliff's second game, first of adulthood. He joked it was his patriotic duty. He focused on the hotdogs and beer, which he greatly enjoyed. I enjoyed seeing Piazza, the great Mets catcher, hit two home runs, and yet the Mets still winning. The first homer was an opposite field shot. One shot was to the warning track, but our hundred million dollar man tracked it down. Cliff was amazed at the salaries the players make. I showed my kids off to some in the home and helped out a little bit. I gave someone their glasses they forgot. I hope everyone had a good time, I know I did. I got some good pictures I'll be sharing on snapfish with those I usually share it with. Cliff suggested I get photos for my blog, but I don't know when I'll have time to figure that out. Maybe on my week off. I have off from Friday at 5 p.m. August 11th, to Monday morning at 9a.m. August 21st. I'm looking forward to that!

412. Will and Bart Visit

Bart and Will came over last night. We had some Chinese food and talked. Will had a kind of sumer internship in Alaska doing archaeological stuff. Bart was scooping ice creme until he got an internship at some agency that hooks the elderly up with home help. They seemed well. They go off for their second year of college soon.

Then we entered the fray of 7 children (Andrew, William, Emma, Mateo, Jaquan, AJ, Venus). I wasn't awake when Aida and Natasia came, that takes us up to 8 children. The other day Alex called, and laughingly said, "how do you like 8 children in your house?" Of course I'm overwhelmed. I go to bed early. But I also think Andrew and William are enriched by being with others. As I am. We put in a Backyardigans CD and some of the kids danced. I'm greatful Will and Bart treked all the way out here. It means a lot to me.

And then the next day, when the neighbor brought over Junior, there were 9! Diana sure likes children.

411. Happy

I woke up exhausted, even though I'd slept in to 6:40. Andrew woke up at 7, and went back to sleep and woke up again later. William and Diana were still sleeping and he kept going into the room to wake them up, so I took him for a walk outside. He was interested in a little boy behind us, so I stopped so he could look. The woman quizzed me about his age, and said her son was 9 months. She said he looked tired. When I came home, William wanted to go out. So I rested a little, and then took him out to the park. Aminta, Steven and his Abuela were there. Steven lent William some paper and pencil and made a plane, and chased him around. Aminta shared their water with William. Aminta thinks he said his name. William, despite our many efforts, does not say his name. While William was playing in the sand a fly bit him, and he was upset. So we headed out. He likes to swing by the corner where a bunch of cars are, so we went two blocks out of the way home. Walking home, he said, "pizza" and dragged me to the place that Cliff says has the worst pizza he ever tasted. It's so nice to have a friend who lives near by and likes to hang out with children, who is flexible and understands my circumstances. I'm greedy, I don't want him to move away, even though I'm sure he will. So we got a small pizza, and came home. Andrew was still asleep and we watched some of Charlotte's Web, with it's vegetarian subtext. I got to be rather drowsy after Andrew woke up, and Diana said, "go lay down." I slept for 3 hours and had a Buddhist retreat dream. When I came out, William was saying, "shoes," which means, lets put them on and go out. So we did. We went to the park again. He came to like a Jewish woman with 4 children, and followed her around. The ice creme trunk came, and William got a vanilla cone. I would occasionally lick up the melting part so it didn't drip so much, and wipe off his mouth. We played with the water fountains, and William walked across the ball fields. I half protect him and look out for flying balls, and half try to steer him away from danger. As I nudge him off the playing field he says, "hey," in an aggrieved tone. So we got some sesame noodles at King Wok, and came home the long way, exploring every nook and cranny to run his cars and trains along, he goes up the cement stairs that lead to nowhere and various excursions. When we got home, Andrew was glad to see me, and raises his arms and demands to be picked up. I watched Bill Moyers Faith and Reason, with Pema Chodron. I got some pictures of him standing next to her face on the TV. I'm not sure why I like taking photos of him next to the rupa or in this case Pema, but I do. I suppose it's the same reason my grandparents had a photo where William has his hands together in a kind of prayer. It's a kind of hopeful for shadowing. Buddhism works for me, but I hope to respect what my children decide is for them, what works best for them. I would like to expose them to some teachings, but in no way am I interested in brain washing them or indoctrinating them. I suppose my vision of the world guides me, and I can't but help to pass that along. William and Andrew took a bath, and William is all toweled off, and say, "happy."

410. A night out

Diana and I celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary with the help of Virginia who came over and watched our precious boys. We had a lovely dinner, and went to a movie, my second at the movie theaters since William was born. I think my first since Andrew was born. It's so good to be with my wife, alone. It was a precious evening.

The boys had not napped before we left, so they went for a walk and fell asleep. I called while we were about to watch the movie. But when we got home their bedroom light was on, so that meant they were both up.

William likes to go to bed when I do now, or at least try and if he doesn't fall asleep fast, then he just goes out into the living room with Diana. Soon we're going to begin to try and shape a sleeping patter that will be complementary to Diana going back to work soon. She's already getting anxious about it.

Friday we met Cliff and Vava at the Vleigh Park. They are very kind to hang out with us. We got some Chinese food, and came home. The boys fell asleep and we watched what turned out to be a very interesting movie for me, K-Pac.

Today is AJ's birthday party, it might even be his birthday. Happy Birthday AJ. William often says, apropos of nothing, "AJ and Emma."

Friday morning William woke up early. Thursday morning Andrew woke up early. It's like they're taking turns. I feel their need for me, their desire to be around me, and I am greatly touched by it. I must be there for them.

409. Diana's Day Care

The boys are growing up fast. If you cling to it, it slips from your grasp, for they are constantly changing. Grunty got an upper tooth. He and Joyti run around, chasing each other, and laugh and laugh. They wrestle with each other, and you have to be careful so that William doesn't crush Shantikara, the peace maker. Andrew come to the bed now and raises his harms and grunts so that I pick him up. He loved my bed table, and likes to mess it up, grab the lamp. William has come to be manipulative and willful. He will eat crap all evening if we let him. He will watch his DVDs all day if we let him. Diana baby sit two of Aida's nephews, and yesterday Diana baby sat one of the neighbor children. It's a regular child care center here. I went to bed early Tuesday night because the virus that began with Diana and went through the family hit me. I'm on the rebound, though the nose can be snot filled at times, and everyone still is prone to coughing fits. Diana didn't charge Aida's sister. I'm not sure she'll charge the neighbor. Turns out we're going to Harry and Angie's wedding, they invited all of us, William and Andrew included, so we're going. Lots of silly family politics and whatnot. I hope we're in harmony now.

408. Colds

William and Andrew have a cold, Diana seems to have come down with something too. She started it. I'm sure I'll be getting it too, and then we're going to be in trouble.

The boys are OK though. William whispers to me, and then when I say, "are you telling me a secret?" he says, "Secret" in a whisper.

Andrew has graduated from drunken sailor walking, to tipsy sailor.

Sunday we went to the doctor, it's the first time I've seen their second doctor. He seemed a little brusk to me, but Diana said not more than the lesser of the two he used to see. The strep culture was negative, they have something viral, which I think means it's just a cold.

Cliff met us at the park, and we hung out some. He came over, and we played some chess while the boys were sleeping, 10 minute games. Then we watched Open Water, which is a scary movie. I took William to the park later, for the second time. He played some where he says, "come on," and I follow him around. He met a cute little girl, and they played a little. Then we went to the field, the ball park and grass. He played with the water fountain and got a little wet. He played with the rocks.

William dances to the TV sometimes. He really likes the Backyardigans. It's a lovely weekend with the boys, I missed being away from them, and it's hard to enjoy them when I'm tired during the work week. They've been a little clingy with their colds.

407. Back home

William and Andrew (the three guys, Natasia and Robyn) and Diana and Aida all went on a long bus ride to the Bronx Zoo today. They got there late, so they didn't do a whole lot, but they got to see baboon, monkey, Ibex and an ostrich.

Yesterday was the aquarium. William liked the jelly fish and clownfish and Andrew was scared of the shark.

It was so wonderful to see my boys when I got back from Aryaloka. I had a wonderful retreat, but really wanted to be reunited with my boys. They seem to have grown. William is talking more, Andrew is walking better. Andrew was not as ecstatic, I don't think he's as attached to me as yet. Happy 10 months to Andrew, and happy birthday to Diana. We went over to Diana's sister Virginia's house Sunday to celebrate, and a wonderful time was had by all.

406. Going Away

There has been so much going on. Work is so intense. That I am going away for a week, family has been intense. And the spiritual life has been intense too. So I've let the blog slide for the first time in a long time. I want to write once before I go away. I'm going to miss William and Andrew and Diana, so much, while I am on my retreat. Diana think it's crazy to go away, but it helps me to love them all, to be the best me possible for them.

Andrew is so cute, he howls till I pick him up, when I come home. William and I have a special connection as well. William is using more and more words, it's hard to keep track of. He's repeating words. I just love it when I lay on the floor and they climb all over me, I love swinging William around. Andrew does not yet feel comfortable with that. William is going on the swings more and more, which he avoided. I fear Andrew will have some of the vestibular sensory integration issues as William. I try to be mindful of when he's uncomfortable, and not push him into an uncomfortable mode.

I love William, Andrew, and Diana.

405. Eleven children

I'm writing this entry for the 3rd time, because on Aida's computer and another the pop up blocker blocked my spell check and I lost the text. So I'll just quickly say that there were 11 children over at "Camp Miller" as Diana likes to say, over in New Jersey. William said "bridge" when he saw it in a book, which made me proud, and then he later fell asleep with out a bottle.

404. Gum

They went to bed early for 3 days in a row. But I took William for a bike ride, and he fell asleep a couple blocks into it, so he took a nap. He probably won't be going to bed at 9 tonight.

Andrew's doctor appointment went well. He got 3 shots. He's not even gained a pound, only 12 ounces (21 lbs 13 oz.), almost one, but he's grown an inch in length (height) 28.5 inches and in circumference of his head, 47 1/4.

I went to a toy store and got William a big ball to help with some OT exorcises. I got him some hotwheel track, and a baseball glove and ball, and some beach toys. Diana got the glove and said, "this is what I thought you'd get when we found out I was pregnant!"

Diana said, "what's this in your mouth?" It turned out to be gum in Andrew's mouth. Yikes.

403. Bugs

William fell asleep Monday night, when I drove Aida and Natasia home. He got a good 12 hours sleep. With 6 kids around, Andrew had to be more vocal to get his needs me, but he was more vocal.

When I got home Tuesday night, they were both asleep. It made me sad. Good news--Cliff and Vava are moving two blocks away from us! How amazing can that be?! And he moves in Wednesday!

Andrew prefers regular food to baby food. William really likes to be outside. He says, "bugs," quite a lot.

402. Smack

William said, "Grandma" to Abuela. I want him to speak Spanish. I went over to Virginia and Tim's Saturday morning, so Diana could do her project for her class. She's not going to be taking classes until September, so life is going to get easier till then. It was the first night Diana didn't sleep with us, since we've been 4. William slept from 10-7.

The Irish couple I met Sunday at Virginia's party for the Ecuador v. England in the World Cup, had Holly a 3.8 year old, and Joshua, an 8 month old. They were impressed with Andrew's walking. Holly took a liking to William and they played all day. William fell asleep later, and I went and packed up to come home, and she slapped him awake. She apologized, and kissed to make up, and William planted a kiss smack on her lips, turning his head at the last minute. Cheeky little guy.

401. Twelve Steps

Diana has two more weekends of class, so this father's day, was another tough solo day. I gave the boys a bath, fed them, took them to the park, and then I was pretty much done. I hold off playing a DVD for a as long as I can. Virginia came over, and then went out for lunch, and came back. I didn't feel like going out for a meal. Last meal we went out was with Rich and I spent the whole time chasing William or trying to comfort Andrew.

The following are words William said Sunday: no, eggs, juice, triange, off, up, down, help, chalk, tooth brush, tooth paste, bath, door, push, bug and opse, plus the letters A and J, the names Andrew, baby, Emma, AJ, Vava and a Spanish word, "mas".

William nodded off coming back from the park, but woke up when here. While I was trying to put him down, unsuccessfully, William insisted on milk for himself. His bottle had enough, but he likes to add some more milk for some reason.

Diana called me at work Monday. Andrew took 6 steps. I came home later, and I counted out 12 steps that he took. Amazing.

400. Wow, 400!

I started this blog about 2 years ago, when William was 6 weeks old. Now he's two plus two (26 months, 2 days to be exact) and Andrew is almost 9 months. They a constant joy. When I wake up at 4:30 am, it's not so thrilling, but when I'm awake and he wakes up, he's just so cute. And to see William run towards me in excitement when I come home, well it's such a warm feeling I get.

I got done with jury duty, with not enough time to go to work, but enough time to take William to his second OT services. He did really well.

399. Step

Some notes: They were both asleep at 8:46! I'm sure they will wake in the night. I have jury duty tomorrow. We bought William a potty. We bought a double stroller. Andrew took his first step without holding onto something. Diana thinks his arm wasn't resting on the table, but close to it, 2 days ago. I saw him take a step, unambiguously, without help

398. Cars!

Andrew has another tooth on the bottom, he's no longer a snaggle toothed little baby. Abuela, his favorite, took care of him yesterday while William went to his first movie in the movie theater. He went to see Cars with Aida, Natasia, two of her nieces and Virginia. Diana said he liked it for a half hour, and enjoyed the popcorn. But then he walked around, and eventually fell asleep since it was around his nap time. That's what I thought would happen. Because I went to see my buddhist friends, I missed out on it, and then they didn't come home till 6, so I got to vacuum and read and nap.

Zane and Bridget sent some nice onesies for the boys, so they can dress up in the same thing. Diana has to wash them first, but William insisted on trying his on, and Diana said he looked cute in it.

Andrew dances, he shakes his booty to the music. He's got pincer hands, sometimes he clings to me, and pulls my hair, or pinches my skin.

For breakfast on Sunday William had blueberries, eggs, milk and banana. Andrew had baby cereal with some mango baby food mixed in. The both made me the present of a poopy diaper.

William calls chips "cookies", like he calls milk "juice". Someday we'll be able to correct these things.

Andrew has been able to stand for 20 seconds.

397. Walking

Andrew is on new formula. It's giving him some digestive troubles, but he's a trooper. He was walking last night while holding onto the hem of my shorts, not even with a hand.

Bart suggested he could edit the blog, which is an interesting idea, maybe put it into a book form. On the one hand, that kind of excites me. On the other, I'm afraid at the quality, I think a book needs more consideration than I put into these blog entries. But maybe.

In a vote of no confidence, when William comes to our bed in the morning to snuggle with us, and get some more sleep, he now goes around to Diana's side instead of waking me up.

William spent Thursday with his cousins at their home. Supposedly he didn't like the basement, maybe because it doesn't have a TV. When we were at Di's rented place on 39th Street, he saw a TV and said, "mo mo" I don't think he's saying "More Elmo" now, I think he's just chanting "Elmo Elmo". We're still waiting for more construction of language from him. Di said the boys were slow to talk too, I think it's family thing language delays, but we end up doing OK. Still we might add on an extra private day of speech therapy for William so he has 3 days instead of 2, with the generous offer from my mother. We have to talk to the speech therapist yet, see if she wants to.

396. Cousins

Yesterday was cousins day for Andrew and William. AJ, Emma and Venus came over. Then they saw Will and Bart in the evening, and Di and Wes. Then we picked up Natasia, and she's slept over.

Andrew has gone from requesting two fingers to walk, to walking with the support of only one hand. He's full of life and raring to go. He's really quite cute these days. Andrew is also using things to stand and walk. Andrew has developed an angry cry to express his dissatisfactions.

Of course William is jealous of the attention he gets and continues to grab things away from him and say, "mine," and sometimes is rough with him in an attempt to play.

William has a few non-sense words he's developed that I like. One is "schumm" and the other is "bosch"

395. Andres/Andrew

Diana and I felt sick yesterday, so Abuela helped us out and took Andres home with her.

I call Andres "Andrew" because that's the closest English name to what I take to be a Spanish name. I've only heard of one Andres before, Andres Galaraga, a baseball player. Last night I heard of another one, a German architect who's first name was Andres.

I was giving William a diaper change on Sunday and he was upset about it, and bashed Andrew in the face a few times before I could stop him. A challenging moment for me, when I'm caring for them alone. I'm glad Diana has been taking these Sunday classes, it has given me a window into her experience of caring for them both alone. I took care of William until I went back to work, after Diana went back to work, and that was a mighty challenge. But I haven't done that with the both of them.

I think Diana's not working is one reason Andrew doesn't have an adverse reaction to Abuela. William said, "NO!" and made a pushing away gesture when Abuela came over last night. Andrew wants to be with her, he was crying because she didn't pick him up right away, she put some bags down first.

I took William to the park yesterday. He can climb the ladder without any help. He's going down the slide without help, though he's still reluctant to do the big one alone, that twists around. He likes to get dirty and I let him. He plays with puddles and in the water fountain. He likes to play with sticks and stones. He got very upset when I took him home. He was upset and dropped his stick and I was glad to get rid of it, and that enraged him even further. My back hurt the next day from giving him a shoulder ride, because all the strollers were in Abuelo's car.

394. Opse

Last Sunday morning William slept all night in his bed, and then walked out to play with his cars in the window first, and did not climb in bed with us.

Andrew sticks his tongue out to his left, to touch his new tooth, lower left.

On Monday, I met the extended family at Flushing Meadows Park. William was playing in the sprinklers. I think he had a good day of exploration and playing. Andrew slept, but woke up and did his one man entertainment show of trying to walk and stand. I biked there, and left them when they were leaving to walk back. They go caught in the rain, but declined the car pickup.

William doesn't like Dora so much, or commercials. He's gotten into the cookie monster, and he likes it when I show my "terrible claws" when I act out in reading Where The Wild Things Are. He's been getting into the Sesame Beginnings DVDs. He's gotten a diaper rash for the first time, to my knowledge. Diana thinks that it's cute he goes "opse." He's figured out how to take the screen off the window and climb out onto the fire escape. Not good. We keep the window cracked because of that.

393. Tough Guy

Monday William played with Punjabi speaking children, and on Friday he played with an Gujarati speaking girl at Vleigh Park. William didn't take a nap and with the excitement of AJ, Emma and Venus here for the third day, he fell asleep early, and Andrew fell asleep. Diana went to a movie, and I had one of the easiest times of watching my children alone. Andrew got up, but he went back to bed.

William bumped his head earlier in the week, and Diana took him to the doctor just to be careful. The doctor said it was just superficial, he was OK. The next day he had his shots and blood tests. He didn't cry and seemed interested. The doctor talked to him, and he didn't fuss, and opened his mouth when she asked him to.

392. Confirmation

Natasia's confirmation was a big family event. I got there late with Virginia's help, but before Natasia got here. There was dinner afterwards at one of those meat restaurants, where they come around and give you what you want, all you can eat. William got upset at one point and banged his head in a tantrum, and was crying for a long time. I went and got Diana, William fell asleep. He fell asleep during the service too. He's a very heavy fellow.

Today when I got home, I took William for a ride. Last night he was screaming "No!" in his sleep, and slept rather upset at times, so I felt like treating him to a ride. We went to Alley Pond Park and he played with some Punjabi speaking Hindu American kids.

391. Tooth

Andrew's tooth came in. Lower left.

William was tossing the clothes off the his bed, when his mother was sorting it out. Diana said, "don't be like your father."

William wouldn't go in the bouncy thing, or on the slide at the street fair in Manhattan. I went to pick them up at Aida's. Natasia has her communion tomorrow. Virginia and Tim got back from Hawaii.

390. Weaned

Thursday May 18th was Andrews last breast feeding. He's on the bottle now. Just like William, he and Diana have gradually weaned him from breast milk.

William has been sleeping in his bed longer, not waking up and coming to our bed until the sun is up. Paul came over to watch the Mets beat the Yankees with me, and he went to bed around 8:30. Paul was amazed how Grunty would crawl over to something and hoist himself up.

William said "Emma" when I showed him a picture of her. She was over yesterday, and William wanted to play with her, but she was in a nap when Harry brought her. Aida and Natasia came over. Natasia is doing a running club once a week, and Aida says she's doing really well.

Correction: The Ten Minutes To Bedtime book was given to us by Zane and Bridget, I mistakenly attributed it to my Aunt Di.

389. CMOM

Diana had to write a paper today. Last night she asked if I would take the day off. I have 5 personal days, so I took the day off. Andrew went to Abuela's, and Janet took over after she left for work, as usual. I took William to the Children's Museum of Manhattan. We went to a Wahol exhibit. He identified the dog, "wow wow" and others. There was a class there, getting a lesson. They took photos of you with an Uncle Sam outfit or Superman, or others, but William was somehow very shy at that moment. Second floor was a Dora The Explorer exhibit. I met a woman with a daughter William's age, and another daughter around Andrew's age. She said her daughter did not qualify for speech, but they for her 3 days a week. The exhibits were nothing profound, but it was cool to let the kids run wild, to have so many kids. We went upstairs and there was story time, but William was not into that. He said "triangle" or close to it, when he held up a big triangle. There were buses to fake drive, he had fun with that. Then he said, "juice," which means milk, which means he's hungry. We went to a deli around the corner, that obviously sees lots of children because they gave him water in one of those plastic cups with a straw. He ate fries, slaw and some of my vegetarian ruben sandwich, but not much of the milk I got for him. He was sweet in the high chair for about 10 minutes, but then we was bridling to get out, and stood up. He wandered around. Out on the street he was hard to contain, and I put a new diaper on him in the car. I got a $65 ticket (museum $16, lunch $20=$101). I went to get a new parking spot, because I'd wasted my quarters in what turned out to be a misreading of the sign--what it really said was that the alternate parking applies also to the metered spots, but I read it the other way...opse. We got a spot on Central Park West, and walked down 3 blocks to a park around 84th street, that had a huge sand box, and other interesting areas. Lots of nannies, and mothers. It took me a while to spot a man, and then I saw a few more. The sand box was fun, nobody was picky about their things, and shovels were easy to get unless you tried to steal one from a kids hands, and then an interesting drama unfolded, to see who would enforce justice. Some kids came over to me, a white man, they felt safe, and played with me. At one point, there was so much fighting about a hole, that I made another one, to distract some kids and they just transfered the fight to the new hole. I made a bunch of holes, but it lost energy. William at one point found a cement mixer, which he absolutely would not give up, until the mother/owner asked for it back. A woman shot noisy balloons around, which was attractive to the kids. One kid had a bubbles gun, that William liked to chase the bubbles. The nanny defended the kid from others who tried to snatch his toy. My ebb in energy had me begging Diana to come home, but eventually it was time to head home, and we left. Took 75 minutes to drive home. William slept the whole way. My back hurts. I hope William had a good day. It was good to see Andrew when Janet and Victor brought him back. Diana is happy to have 2 papers turned in, glad to see her brood.

388. Da!

Andrew has a bad case of the momities. He cries when his mother walks away from him. William continues to be jealous, and act on it. William likes to try to make reparations after he's gotten a firm, "no!" which is sweet, but I'd rather he just didn't hurt his brother or make him cry. He is trying the best he can, and is aware of surveillance, and our wish for him to do no harm.

We've been discussing getting more structure in preparation for Diana going back to work in September, and just to get a regular bed time, and reduce and end the use of the bottle for William. With Diana not working, she doesn't have to get up for work, so she has decided to let them stay up with her. But I think another part of her wants them to get into a regular routine. I think also she would like my help at bed time, and with a late bed time and work, I'm just not available. She's asked me to maybe take some time off to make this happen, and I have agreed.

On a sad note, William's godfather, Paul, lost his cat Pumpkin Friday. I was quite sad for Paul in his loss, sad for Pumpkin. Paul has shared a life with him for 16 years.

It's Mother's Day Weekend. I let Diana sleep late.

Andrew says, "da!"

387. Tidal Wave

With Diana's papers and Andrew's new mobility, which require more supervision and comforting of disappointments, the slim margin, the buffer zone has shrunk to nothing, and the tidal wave of demands has eliminated the blog from consideration. Nothing really revolutionary has happened. Last night William pushed Andrew away, shouting, "share,". I suppose you have to misuse a word to learn what it means. I thought I'd taught it to him, when at Virginia's he brought over to Andrew some toys to play with. I said, "good sharing," to William, and he seemed proud of himself. To his world it's either give or keep, and "share" just becomes part of that. Last night he let me read to him the cool book Di gave him for his birthday, called Ten Minutes, and it's about the countdown to bed time. He let me read it to him while he was in his bed, under the covers, and I thought maybe he would let me put him to sleep, but alas, he hoped out of bed, and carried on for a while. I had to get some sleep. William has been exploring more outside our apartment, in the grass, the chains they have to keep people off the grass, the stairs down into the laundry room, the flower beds which he wants to destroy.

386. Ear Infection

Andrew has a ear infection. William is fine. William was good, he was set down fairly easily and looked at some books in the doctor's office, and played with trucks in the waiting room. He played peekaboo with Andrew to make him laugh when he was crying.

I took Andrew and William to the doctor alone because Diana had to mind Emma, AJ and Venus. A fact has evolved-- I can't carry both of them, for very far. William was not to into walking, but he held my hand. I got the prescription sent to the wrong place, and they didn't give me the right bill. Aida was going to help me out, but she didn't get there until after I was finished. I had no expectations.

William went to bed last night at 7. They both woke up in the night. Andrew got up earlier than he usually does. William fell asleep on the coffee table at Abuela's, where Diana had gone to do some laundry. I woke him up when I took him to the doctor. He was upset this morning when I went in to meditate, and when I didn't have time to shower with him. He's sweet. He says goodbye and huged and kissed me.

385. Andrew crawls

Last night, somehow Andrew got 3 feet and pulled himself up onto his walker, to stand up. I was reading in the bedroom and Diana was doing some bottles in the kitchen. She yelled to come out. How did he get there? A combination of lunging and rolling, his only mode of solo locomotion yet. Today he crawled a little bit towards Diana and she said, "maybe that was how he got there."

Last night Diana went out to see another place to hold Natasia's confirmation dinner. So I had William. We went to the park. He likes to climb all over things, but I had a hard time prying out of his hands stuff. You need your hands free to climb. He's running around more. He went to play in the sand by the ball park, and took off his shoes. There was a little doggie he played with and played in the water fountain. I had a hard time keeping him off the ball fields, where adults were playing softball. He walked over to a intersection and he seems to have learned the word "bus". He's in awe of all the cars. I finally convinced him to come back into the park and he played on a big dirt pile. Finally I'd had enough and had to eat some dinner, so I took him home around 8, which he protested and called out "momma".

384. Mr. Inbetween

Long time no blog. Sometimes the tidal wave of demands by my two sonny boys raises up and I am washed beyond where I feel I have control. I'm pretty puny in the world, but at times I trick myself into thinking I'm more acter than acted upon.

Both of them seem to have had runny noses for as long as I can remember. We ran out of tissue paper, so I'm using toilet paper.

Andrew is in the stage where where wants to go everywhere, but does not yet have the means. He's constantly dissatisfied because of it. He doesn't want to be held. He wants to be constantly moved. He is put down and gives some frustrated attempts to move. He's actually moving more. He's very interested in his brother, and if he comes into the room and makes a noise, and he's feeding, he will turn his head to look at him and stop drinking at his bottle.

William is cute, and mean. He bonks his brother on the head, makes him cry, but then he uses all his words to try and get into good favor. Or he won't spill something he would usually spill, he's more pliable. He will throw things out.

Virginia has been around because Tim is out of town, and so she's been gratified because she has "taught" him things.

William is saying words, I say "share" and he says a close version of it. He's mostly using "up", "down", "help", "ball", "bike", "baby" and "juice". "Mo" means a DVD, usually Sesame Street, but he'll accept Blues Clues or Backyardigans. He's into Sing Yourself Sillier right now. Book wise he's into Fox On Sox, among others, and that's a real tongue twister. He seems to be more into climbing up onto the window ledge more these days.

383. Rich is here!

Andres turns 7 months tomorrow. Rich came Friday and we went out to dinner. It was quite difficult and William never sat at the table, except at the end, when he had a bottle. Andres was OK, sat in his carrier and than drank milk in his carrier, but from then on he was in play and then even got cranky. It was quite exhausting and dispiriting for me, it made me not want to go out in public with the boys because it's just too hard. Then I feel bad for having negative thoughts, parents are always supposed to be calm, pleasant and in control.

William was very cute giving me a hug when I went out to get bagels for breakfast. He says bye bye.

They're not ready yet for eating out, and while William likes to explore the world, I think it's just easier to be at home. We don't go out much, and that's the way it's going to be for a while. But once the boys get more under control and respond to language, then I want to do more. And I want to do thing with one of them, that's manageable. Even eating at the table was difficult with both William and Andrew awake tonight. I write Andrew, but his real name is Andres. I call him Andrew. I'm quite exhausted.

I got a new bike today. To hopefully ride to work, and it has a child carrier, so I can give a boy a ride. I got a helmet for William, and when he gets a little bigger and can't ride it, Andrew can.

William likes his new tricycle, though he hasn't quite figured out locomotion with it. He says, "bike bike bike," in a cute way. It's nice to have Rich here.

382. Seaseme Beginnings

Sometimes waves of activity engulf me, and it's hard to write about the wave that rushes away. William had a birthday, and on Easter we celebrated Emma and William's birthday with Diana's family. It was a big gathering. William got to play outside a lot, which I always think is good. He seemed to take a shine to Nicole his younger cousin, smiling at her. I limped into work on Monday, it was pretty tiring for me.

Monday morning William and Andrew woke to Harry being there. Diana went with her mother for her surgery to remove a lump in her breast.

Wednesday we went to a dumpy Italian place to have a family meal. Nothing lasts and very long and soon they are hard to manage.

William is saying "help" more. Thursday Janet watched William and Andrew for a little while.

381. Cake!

William had a dentist appointment. Getting him dressed he punched me in the face. I say, "you can be angry with daddy, but no hitting." Of course he doesn't have the language to understand or express it, but I'm getting ready for when he does.

Virginia came over and took them all out. I get to take it easy because I'm sick, which is how it should be, but usually I don't get to with the children around. You know I'm sick when I stay home from work because usually it's harder to be at home than work. Diana says, "call if you need something," but I'm sure she's not happy that I'm under the weather for this important weekend. She has been nice to me, but she bears the burdens.

Aunt Nancy in Ecuador sent William a coat. Emma too. Great Grandpa and Grandma Parks also sent 4 cards, I forgot to mention. My mother reports their presents are on the way. And Rich is coming next weekend, he's going to be bringing some presents.

For William's birthday he had a dentist appointment, he had a hair cut, and pictures taken. He's not going to like his birthday in the future. He doesn't like the birthday song. Virginia and Tim were over, and Andrew had more fun with the cake.

Saturday we went to Cunningham Park. William fell asleep, and took a while to get into it, but he finally did. We had dinner together at the table too.

We got a package from Zane and Bridget. We got a puppet from Aunt Di in New Mexico. Lots of good presents.

380. Birthday boy!

I came home from work yesterday and slept 18 hours. I'm feeling pretty weak today, I don't see me being much good at work today. I haven't eaten much. Not sure what it is, never really felt this way before, but I suppose it's probably some kind of temporary bug. I've had a cold, but this is more than a cold. I'm not just tired because I had 8 hours the night before. The whole time I was worried about William, somehow. I'm also worried about my patients too, they've come to rely on me, and I don't like being sick.

I missed seeing William and Andrew last night because I was locked in the bedroom. Somehow he didn't see me when I came in and went to the bathroom. All kinds of kids were over, and Harry took them to the park. William fell asleep at the park.

Today is William's birthday! He is 2 years old. He's such a wonderful boy. I hope he has a good day and weekend. We already got flowers from Zane and Bridget, and a nice outfit from Great Grandma and Grandpa Parks.

Diana reports William says "wait" a lot. Also "watch".

379. Andres and Guillermo

William has gone longer without insisting his socks come off. Andrew is wearing William's old clothes, I keep thinking they vaguely look familiar, and then I realize that I have quite fond associations. I took Andrew for a walk to get India food for dinner, and he fell asleep. Wednesday seems to be crash night, they all take long naps. Last Wednesday when Paul was here they were all sleeping. I can't remember the week before that. Andrew is so adorable. I gave William a bath this morning. He doesn't cry until he gets soap in his eyes, when he rubs his eyes with his soapy hands. Tuesday morning Andrew slept late. Last night some cousins came over, more family get pictures with Andres and Guillermo.

378. Snow! Standing!

William said "snow," and it was snowing outside. This morning when I was leaving, he didn't numb down and pretend I wasn't going. He grabbed his jacked and gave it to me so I could put it on him and take him with me. Broke my heart to go to work without him. He's been saying "up" and "down".

On Monday night Andrew grabbed the crib, and stood up. He's quite active, he stands holding on easily. He's very fussy, he wants to move. He thrashes, and wiggles and won't sit quietly so much any more. He cries when he's left alone, so he definitely is becoming attached.

377. Cry Baby

William checks what I have in my hands when I come home to see if I have any presents for him. I occasionally bring something home for him. William has gotten into whipies, now we have to hide them from him. William took off his onesie tonight, so he could be naked.

Andrew fusses when Diana leaves, Abuela leaves, Janet leaves. Janet baby sat Thursday and Friday. Diana went out with friends and saw a movie. I had a hard evening with them, Andrew cried and when I was trying to put Andrew to sleep, William kept waking him up. I don't think I handled it as well as I would have liked to.

William has been going to the park this week with the warmer weather. He ran around when I was with him Saturday. He went on the swing for a little while, which he's not very much into. He had another occupational therapy evaluation. The woman said when he climbs he wants pressure on him. So we put a pillow over him and I press and say, "squish, squish, squish." or tight hugs. He smiles. I think he has some sensory integration issues. I think I have a few myself. We all do to varying degrees.